Thursday, January 6, 2011

Day 3 - Part II

So much goes through my brain during the day to write here... and then I sit down, faced with the blank screen and go... "eh? what brilliant thing was I thinking?"  I know other bloggers face the same thing... probably the best way to remember would be to record it into the digital voice recorder, because writing it down would take too long and often I'm in the car.  But this isn't what I'm here to tell you.
* * *
Last night I was driving home and thinking about how Someday is Today. "One Day" was Tuesday...!!

Really and Truly... the "Some Days" have turned into Present Day.

I started to cry with a quiet joy when I realized that IT. IS. NOW. Right now. I'm doing what I've been talking about doing for years... it is a commitment (thanks to my step-father and mom's financial support, and my husband's emotional support and financial help) that I have to keep.  I hope this year I'm able to really learn, to really absorb, to truly understand in my core being and soul, that promises made to myself are as important as any promises I make to others.

The train of thought that brought me to tears...
The thought of new pants because my old ones are falling down around me. I can't imagine the day, but in my heart I know that day is not that far away.

and then the tears started to fall.  The feelings are all over the place!
  • Overwhelmed.
  • Joy. 
  • Anticipation. 
  • Submission.
  • Love.
  • Anxiety (just a tinge of fear of the unknown, but fearful isn't really correct).
  • *Eager.
  • Acceptance.

Time Out for a  Pet Peeve: Eager vs. Anxious. 
  • Eager: keen or ardent in desire or feeling; impatiently longing; characterized by or feeling expectancy or great desire
  • Anxious: full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous
These are the FIRST definitions... Anxious has come to mean Eager, which is my Pet Peeve. 
Thank You for letting me get that off my chest
End of Pet Peeve

I still have to write about Monday -- and I will. In the meantime, I've started a Food Log page, which is where I'll write down what I'm eating, and update it accordingly. I know keeping track and looking back over it can be eye-opening.

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