Saturday, April 30, 2011

Day 117 ~ 1.51 miles walked, another pound down!

Longgggg day yesterday... busy weekend ahead!  I slept in this morning until 7:30 and got out with the dog around 7:55.  I took a very leisurely walk this morning, and got back home at 8:25.  My back hurts -- but it was a gorgeous morning -- kinda windy, but not yet a hot hot wind... but it was warm.

I'm wearing clothes that have been in my closet for years, unworn because they were so ill-fitting. I have on a men's (large men's store) t-shirt, and a pair of old black pants that probably have holes in the crotch/rear end (!) but no one can tell because they're so LOOSE!! Whooo-Hooooo!!

I didn't really FEEL like walking this morning, but felt good about the fact I was doing it anyway.  Huge for me.

Lots of allergens floating around outside, and I've got that constant 'I'm gonna sneeze' feeling goin' on. bleh.
* * *

I ♥ Medifast. Just sayin'.  I had an extra MF meal last night, with an extra piece of string cheese... dinner last night was a can of tuna mixed with probably a 3/4 C mixture of non-fat and no-salt-added cottage cheese, on top of a bit of raw cabbage & baby spinach, and some roasted kale and baby asparagus (with some olive oil and salt, and TJ's '21-gun-salute' no-salt spice mix... my current new favorite thing).  Mixed it all together and it was very very good!! Thinking the tuna and cottage cheese will be the new tuna and mayonnaise!! :D

I had all bars (5), Parmesan puffs, the white cheddar mini rice cake things, plus the string cheese... all my water, and a large cup of coffee with cream and sugar free chocolate torani syrup in the morning.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Day 116 = A New LOW Number on the scale!!


April has been the land of the same 4 lbs going up and down, up and down, U P and D O W N... just about driving me crazy!

I started walking this week... since last Friday I've walked 9.06 miles -- YAY ME!! :D

The endorphins make such a difference... I'm also saying a positive affirmation before I go to sleep every night, about how I love waking up early and working up a sweat in the morning... with joy and gratitude, etc... and the last thought I have before going to sleep is a conscious thought ... *I WANT to be fit, I WANT to get up early and welcome the sunrise... I want to get a jump start on my day and be happy and glad about it.*

Cuz really, it is just about changing our mind.

So much easier said than done.
* * *

I had a shift in understanding... I've said, I've read, I've known, I've understood... that putting fitness and exercise, if we really want to change, HAS to be the first priority... above social, above housework... for me it means fitness above chorus and quartet fun and those goals.  If I don't have my health, I won't be able to have the energy and stamina for someday directing a chorus, winning regional quartet contest, learning to arrange music in the barbershop (a cappella - 4-part) style, let alone just standing on the risers for 3 1/2 hours once a week (!).

Somewhere in my molecules, at a core level, I finally reached the point of heart understanding.  You know how sometimes you *know* something, and you understand the concept... your brain totally gets it. But it can be a long, difficult, arduous journey for that thought or concept to travel to your heart... where you 'get it.'

It is sort of a subtle change, I also refer to this as the switch being flipped... something in the inner core of my being changes significantly... and I think it is a direct result of "putting the right thoughts in the right bucket enough times," for that balance of buckets to change... which is what leads me to say it is as simple as changing your mind. But changing our mind is certainly not EASY.  Simple does NOT equal easy. Really and Truly making a change in our life is so very very hard... STAYING and KEEPING UP the changes is hard too. 
* * *

So, I was reminded at my Medifast clinic visit on Wednesday that I'm not supposed to exercise more than 45 minutes per day.  So... walk-running a half-marathon is out of my reach this year.  I'm pretty sure I can't do 13.1 miles in 45 minutes *laughing hysterically at the thought...*

So, I'm going to still do the Gabe Zimmerman triple crown, but the 5K fun walks instead.  I think I'll be able to get to 3 miles in about 45 minutes... especially if I don't take the dog on every single walk with me... The half-marathon will have to wait until I'm in transition and maintenance of Medifast... which, fingers crossed, will be next March!
* * *

Medifast Clinic Visit on Wednesday, April 27th
So..... I'm down 59.4 lbs in 16 weeks... that is an average of 3.7 lbs per week.

I was actually up .8 lbs from two weeks ago when I weighed in... BUT, my inches lost since the last time I 'd been measured was -26.25 for a total inches loss of 82.75!!

and this morning on my home scale, I am down 3 lbs since yesterday's weighing, and 5 lbs since Monday.

I'm over a third of the way to my goal.
* * *

I bought the MF cookbook this last time, as it is time to come up with some different meals.  I wrote down my L&Gs that I've been eating, and it seems I rotate between 9 different things... so I want to add another 9 or 10 to that number, at least so I can get a pretty good rotation going. 
* * *

Himself is recovering nicely from Gallbladder surgery a week ago Monday. The toughest part so far has been the recovering from the hernia repair... that is the part that the Doc said would take two years for it to be really normal.  They put in a wire mesh thingey, and we don't think it is something that will dissolve, but rather, it will be 'grown around' by his body... so the foreign object is what is taking so long to feel 'normal.'
* * *

My last day at work will be today -- going in to clean up some messes that I've left in my "To Do" files, and to finish up the Office Procedures Manual that I started.  The new gal I think will be a great fit for them, and I hope that this relationship lasts for a long time!
* * *

I've been really really busy with just doing the plan, and have missed blogging more regularly about it.  With my priorities sort of newly aligned, daily blogging may be something that doesn't fit within my daily habits right now... but once some of the other responsibilities I have are done and finished, then I'll stick it back in :-)
* * *

I've not done an April picture, so maybe I'll have himself take some photos later today... and then I'll log the numbers of the inches lost on the progress page as well.
* * *

If you're still reading.. thanks!! And I'm so thankful for anyone who stops by and reads... and I ♥ it when someone takes a couple minutes to just say "hi" and leaves me a comment.... *such a subtle hint, no?* 

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Day 112 ~ Up A Pound (!)


I walked 1.32 miles on Friday... and 2.88 miles on Saturday...

I got up at 5:15 am this morning to walk, but instead got caught at the computer. Wanted to go in to work and be there by 8am, but it is 7:52 as I write this, and that doesn't look like it is happening.  I have an appointment at 1pm, and then a chorus board meeting tonight... so it looks like my goals went out the window because I chose it that way.

Gandi said ~ "The future depends on what we do in the present."

I have future quartet and chorus goals... but really, my health has to come first or those goals won't matter.

I was so tired last night, I could have gone to sleep at 8pm, but instead I sat with hubby and watched an episode and a half of "Buffy" -- he's been watching the entire series this weekend... a "Buffy The Vampire Slayer FEST" ~ what a waste of time! But still, 9:30 is early for me ;-)

I'll walk the dog tonight.  For Rascal as much as for me!!
* * *

I spent about an hour mapping my neighborhood walks for mileage... and now have a 2.28 mile route, and a 3.13 mile route planned out... just so I can get mileage in without having to get in the car!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Day 109 ~ Time For A Real Reason To Get Up In The Morning

Well... today I've decided to begin to commence to start (*hee hee*) training for a half-marathon in Tucson in December. I'll be mostly walking/jogging (at least, that is what I believe I'll be doing at this point in my weight loss journey) per Jeff Galloway's  "Run Injury Free" methodology ..... he invented the "Galloway RUN-WALK-RUN™, low mileage, three-day marathoner training schedule [with a] ... 98% success rate." And when I'm in better condition to actually start training, I can download ipod sessions with the intervals all worked out for me. I ♥ Technology. (at least, I ♥ it today... it is a love/hate relationship with technology...) 

Just getting up in the morning to exercise hasn't really been pushing the right buttons to actually *get me to bed on time* and *get my you-know-what* out of my comfy-cozy snooze-fest bed. I know I need another reason that is more specific than "to be in better shape" or "to be fit" or "to lose weight faster."  For me, this would be a HUGE change in my life... and I'm committed to making this goal the number one priority (after sticking on the Medifast Diet 5 and 1 plan!!).

So: Tucson's Marathon (which is a Boston Marathon Qualifier, in case anyone wants to know) is Sunday, December 11, 2011. Holy Moly, I just clicked the "Register" button and it costs $70.00! With a Registration Fee of $4.84 and I have to purchase by the end of June.  I guess I'm just in time to put my feet where my mouth is (and have the money follow). 

Because I'm not in any sort of fitness condition to actually begin a training program... the Jeff Galloway site has an 8-week conditioning program -- I'll be just walking for now... I don't want to start jogging until I'm 25 lbs or less away from my goal weight.  As it is now, I'm 3 lbs from the weight limit on the elliptical we still have in the box... which I'm soooo excited to be so close to putting it together!
* * *

Eating: I'm up .8 lbs -- but still down (?!) if that makes any sense. I wrote out my list of "Tried and True" Lean & Green recipes and posted them on the fridge, (there are 9 of them) -- and over the next couple of days plan to try 4 new ones, and then find/try another 10 for a good rotation of meal options. Having the list on the fridge will hopefully help me write out the grocery list and plan a little better.
* * *

I start training with my new job on May 9th ~ I called the company and received confirmation that yes, I've been accepted as a new hire. I'm relieved, excited, kinda bummed about a real schedule that will have to be followed, but ultimately Very Very thankful, grateful and happy to have a larger paycheck in my future.

This was another reason to simplify my "GET UP EARLY AND EXERCISE" goal ~ if I'm working at 8am and it takes me 20+ minutes to get to work... I really need to start getting up at 5am (at the latest) so I can meet my running buddy nearby (i.e., get dressed and in the car), do the workout, get home, walk the dog, get showered and ready for work and leave with plenty of time. Call Center = No Likey Tardy Peeps.
* * *

I feel good today... I've been feeling really crappy the last couple of weeks -- headaches, shoulder aches, despondent thoughts, spirits down, bored with MF (due to my inability to move past the -54 lb mark, I'm sure...), and frustrated with myself and lack of follow-through with the getting up.

I feel like I've turned over a mental leaf.  I know there are people who are out there keeping me in their thoughts and prayers, and rooting for me... and I'm so thankful and grateful for you ♥.

Happy Good Friday...
* * *

Oh Yeah!!!! ~ One More Thing...

I tried on clothes that haven't fit me for awhile last night, hoping I'd have something "new" for Easter Sunday... and a blouse that really didn't fit when mom bought it for me, which I tried on about a month 1/2 ago and still was too snug... is something I think will be perfect for Easter Sunday!! WOOT!!

A favorite skirt that I've kept for ages fit too! Still a little snug around the waist, but it is a pull over/pull on skirt ~ and just being able to slip it over my head AND back off again without dislocating anything was a major feat! I can't wait to shop and find a couple of tops to go with it :-)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Day 108 ~ how did a week go by?

Hubby had his Gallbladder Surgery on Monday and all went well.
I've apparently passed my intensive background check for a job I'm going for.
My house is a mess.
I'm staying at the same weight... down 2 lbs, but want to be down more.
Still haven't been to the Doc
Still am not getting up early to exercise.
Feeling down on myself about that stuff
Chorus performance yesterday afternoon.
What the hell have I been doing?!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Day 101 ~ Blood Pressure

So... my blood pressure yesterday at MF Clinic was 101/90.  This is without any Lisinopril w/ diuretic. 

I figured out that the weight gain I had a few weeks ago was because of the lack of diuretic... and that is happening again.  I'm up 4 lbs in two days, but I stopped taking the meds on Sunday because [1] the scrip has run out and I've not gone to the doctor and [2] for the last 3 visits (6 weeks) to the MF Clinic my bp numbers have been extremely low. 

I've not been to the doctor because I want to find a new one... a very childish reason, I feel ~ it isn't really a valid excuse, yet it is the thing that is stopping me from going in.  I've been mad at my doctor's office because I never did receive a call/appointment for my mammogram last year ~ and I mentioned it every time I went in to see them (which, last year, was a total of three times from March '10 to December '10).
* * *

The past two days have been rough ~ and I was finally able to release with tears on my drive home yesterday after dinner while listening to music... just the over-the-top feelings from the weekend (which was fabulous but high-intensity), then coming home to a dirty house, and reminders everywhere of all the things I'm not good at and I want to say I don't care about, but that wouldn't be true... all that anxiety comes out with the tears. What a relief!
* * *

I am really out of my routine ~ and need to get back into it... my life right now just feels out of control.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

A Quote for My Medifast Peeps in Chandler

This was the quote I was trying to remember in my session today...

"You'll never regret exercising ~ but you'll feel worse if you skip it."

another good one...

"Self Control is a limited resource and erodes during the day..."

Which is why I need to get to bed now.
* * *

Yesterday was a really hard day.  Coming down from a fantastic weekend to real life... dishes dirty in the sink, laundry needing to be done, floors that need to be swept, vacuumed, mopped... a husband facing surgery on Monday and I'm clueless on how to handle his recovery. Changes coming down the pike and my inner brat totally having a tantrum about it.  Feeling bad, just generally "Not Enough" ~ the emotional crap that doesn't go away... it may diminish for awhile, but that little voice that is constantly telling me that it is all pointless, and to just let it go and be a couch potato, because it really won't matter, and regardless of what I want to do to change will go unnoticed by people closest to me -- that really, I'm not changing and that nothing I do will ever make a difference in sticking with changes... well, yesterday I just wasn't dealing with it well at all. 

I had a couple extra MF 'meals' -- two extra bars, a couple extra snacks, and at 11pm I was finishing about 2 TB of delicious Trader Joe's Almond Flax Butter.  A little Almond Flax Butter Fest, I'd say. And it was delicious.  I didn't eat Reece's Peanut Butter Cups, however. That is a Great Victory!! :D Yay ME!!

Two steps forward, three steps back it feels like, sometimes.

But no, I'm not giving up. That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and when I reach the other side, and I will reach the other side ~ I'll be able to look back and remember, and sympathize and empathize with others, and maybe have some words of wisdom that might help them keep on keepin' On.

Day 100!!

Some Pictures of my weekend... more later!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Day 99 (!) I'm Back!

Well... not quite two weeks gone, but too long nonetheless.  Sheesh! I almost missed 100 days of Medifast!! Yikes!!

I go to Medifast Clinic tomorrow ~ two weeks ago my blood pressure was 96/48 ~ apparently that is quite low *grins!* I feel absolutely fine.  I was down 14.25 inches since March 2; a total inch loss of 56.5.

Our chorus went to Pasadena, California this past weekend and competed ~ we scored 601 points, which placed us 2nd place overall, and 1st place mid-sized chorus AND created a "Master Director" for our First-Time director! My quartet drove out together, we stayed in a room all together (I've not stayed four in a room in a long long time...), drove back together and still are having a great time.  I'm thrilled!

I haven't been to my doctor yet for blood work, nor have I searched for a new physician. This week. I'll get that started this week.

There is more news, but not quite ready to share with the world yet.

Hubby's Gallbladder and hernia surgery will be Monday ~ and he's been a bit stressed about that... understandably so. I'm glad contest is over and I can put some concentrated focus toward him and the house and what I need to do around here.

Diet-wise I'm good.  I'm a bit bored, but it comes and goes.

My getting up and Getting Exercise Habit has not transpired. *Deep Breath* But I'm not giving up.