Showing posts with label habits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label habits. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 22, 2022

The Hike

 

I understand the meme. A patient seeker will be satisfied in due time; patience is a virtue. Nothing worth waiting for happens fast. All (good) things come to those who/that wait. The reward comes after the struggle. When we are persistent and patient (and consistent) we will be rewarded and achieve our goal(s). When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

But what happens when we hike a difficult road, only to find ourselves back at the same point from where we started?

For me, destination is 'somewhere new.' 

Merriam-Webster has this to say about destination ~

    :the purpose for which something is predetermined or destined

    :an act of appointing, setting aside for a purpose, or predetermining

    :a place to which one is journeying or to which something is sent

    :a place worthy of travel or an extended visit

* * *

I have a Girl Scout Camp memory of an All Day Hike.

It's important to know... I don't like Hiking. Detest Hill Walking (as it's called by some in Scotland). Loathe. Despise. You get the picture.

At least, I hated Girl Scout hikes for the most part - maybe that's a subject for another rambling rant of a post... for this post, let's just suffice to say how much I abhor Hiking ALL DAY LONG and ending up where I started. 

EXACTLY

THE 

SAME

PLACE

FROM

WHICH

WE

STARTED!

I had two different Girl Scout Camp experiences - Hidden Falls and Skylark. I think the Hiking I hated was at Skylark. One good memory, I think the only good memory from that camp experience is that I received mail (one of the lucky ones) from Nana, my paternal grandmother who died when I was 8. The other memories of that time are miserable.

This was an extremely traumatic week (?) or couple of weeks for me.

The Hike that I appreciated was hiking to the beach, spending the night there (campfire and sand in our food, the whole nine yards) then hiking back to our camp... where we had tents with wooden floors, and squeaky springs in the beds to hold our sleeping bags up off the ground.

The Hike that I was disgusted with was the hike where we started out, walked ALL FREAKING DAY and ended up RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED. What was the point? The journey? okay. Nature. fine. But I don't remember anything significant on that hike except that we didn't GO anywhere - we didn't arrive somewhere new. We just walked in a big circle and there was no reward but the wasted time of walking around for itself.

Inefficient. Wasted Energy. It was the kind of hike where it was difficult in spots, scary for me... climbing up steep paths and trying not to fall as you make your way down slippery rocks and pebbles. I had no friends before I went - I just was "sent off to camp" by myself. 

I remember being dropped off in the morning, the bus and that there was one girl I knew, Stephanie, who was a brat, who was also going. I don't seem to remember where I knew her from... but she had some Cheetos and when she offered me one, and I said yes, she threw it on the ground and said, 'there it is' - or something like that. I don't remember if I picked it up and ate it, or just left it there. Knowing me, I probably picked it up and ate it. We ended up being in the same tent and it was a pretty long hike to the latrine/outhouse - treacherous at night and you needed your flashlight. There was some trauma associated with that, too.

I'm kinda smirking-laughing at myself because we do this to ourselves - in life. I fail to learn, grasp a new concept, change my habit or thinking and end up at exactly the same place. Huh. Maybe this early life experience was meant to show me something along these lines.

* * *

Girl Scout Camp... those hazy memories aren't great. My experience at Hidden Falls was slightly better. I was older, I'd been to camp before, I met a friend. But it was still rough.

*This post was started in April 0f 2018. I'm publishing it today, 6/22/2022. I still hate hiking.

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

The Social Dilemma

 If you haven't watched it. It's educational and eye-opening.

Here's the trailer. At 1:45... blows the mind.

I've been threatening to blog (write) more. And read more. I used to read so much! Before I was married I had such better habits (!). It isn't himself's fault, I'm not blaming him. My lack of better habits has totally been because of the choices I made.

It's time to re-claim those better habits... to read before going to sleep. To just read.

To write more. I love writing. I write well. 

Blogs were "it" before Facebook... one of my favorite blogs was "Rocks in My Dryer." I met a Facebook friend, whom I've never ever met IRL, because I loved reading her blog - oh my gosh she was so funny. She took her blog down, she got too many 'hate comments' which, if I'm honest, I struggle to understand just how mean and cruel people can be. I mean, I understand the anonymity which brings out false bravado (writing things you'd never say to someone to their face) but you know, #MeanPeopleSuck - full stop. 

And that was before FB got so popular and most people's understanding of 'trolls' was linked to the bad guys giving the goat trouble under the bridge. 

She lives closer to me now, and I hope that some day, if/when I drive through southern California on my way to my happy place(s) that we can meet up over an In Real Life coffee or, in cooler weather, an adult beverage and just hang out.

I have promised myself... and even dedicated a time in my google calendar when I will publish a blog post. Right now it is slated for Wednesdays and one more day of the week - my goal is to publish a new writing twice a week.  Maybe I will just start kinda slowly... publish once a week is a good goal. Let's just get this one new habit established.

*Hey! I just realized that this is Wednesday! *cue applause!

Bring it in, er, home... my point. 

Read More. Scroll Less.

Write More. Watch Less.

Spend less time scrolling, liking, distracting myself with Facebook (lol, remember when My Space was 'it' and we called it "My Face"? That memory just made me smile), and picking up a fun book (novel/fiction such as Jan Karon's "To be Where You Are") and also an educational/Personal Growth & development book (currently trying to finish the super easy but awesome read "2 Chairs" by Bob Beaudine).

I have Side Hustle Dreams... so many things to write about and read about and share!



Sunday, July 20, 2014

Writing is More About Editing... Yes? Life is about that too.

I don't have a problem writing - it is the "know when to stop" thing that kinda gets in the way. Sticking to a particular theme for this blog has long since gone away - now that I've gained all my weight back (130 lbs), as I'm not focused on 'The One Thing' any longer, any subject is fair game.

Focus is not over-rated. At least not for me. Losing focus hasn't been an advantage.

"You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage - pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically ~ to say NO to other things. And the way to do that is to have a bigger YES burning inside." ~ Stephen Covey

Then I found this blog post about juggling your passions like pots on a stove (and goes as far as keeping other projects in Tupperware in the fridge...) and while I adore the thought that I can do that, I know that it doesn't work as well for me - I have been trying for a long time to do "everything at once" - for lack of better words - and end up feeling entirely too overwhelmed and quitting everything.

So... bringing it in to the title of this post ~ Editing is about choosing what is necessary to be communicated - what is essential within the framework of the project (essay, book, blog post...) that you want to say.  Liken this to life (not a new comparison, I'm sure) and the life you want to live; and minimalism (or, rather simplicity and living with less - a la Courtney Carver and this post which really spoke to me the other day...) Living Intentionally. Being More With Less. Hacking Away at the Unessential. This is my goal. And this road is long, emotionally taxing, simple to say and not-in-any-way easy. I'm spending so much energy on it, that other areas of my life truly suffer.

One thing at a time. A Burning Yes that over-rides all others... Kinda like the "secret to life is one thing" from the movie City Slickers, right...?
I printed out the Zen Things... which sits above my desk, but look at my desk:

The Dissonance between Zen Things & My Desk
It is still better than it has been before, and I give myself "Atta-Girl!"'s because I can actually USE it, but there are 5 things "to do" or "in process and undone" sitting on it.

#1 on the list: "Do one thing at a time" (um, can we say, fail?)

The one thing that should be overriding all of this is losing the excess weight and feeling healthy and fit(ish).  Eating Less of the bad stuff (reading "Why We Get Fat" by Gary Taubes is a good start) so I can physically fit in my Tiny House with just the essential stuff...

My head hurts from thinking about it and going in circles. On the other hand, I do happen to have #8 down perfectly, on the Zen List, however (just in case this post is too depressing) ~ "Devote time to sitting."

I've failed at editing 'the perfect post' - and life is real... it is a real struggle (for me) in making daily choices of priorities. Keeping in mind my own "one thing." It seems to change daily. So many things are racing through my head right now, so I'll edit in as much as I won't go there publicly yet... maybe some journal thoughts first.

Finish the book. Take the Real Estate Test(s). Abstain from Flour, Sugar and Starch.

Okay, not the "Do One Thing At A Time" - but there are 4 burners on my stove, after all...

Friday, December 20, 2013

Motivation: Regular Exercise, Eating Healthy, Decreasing the Clutter

"Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backwards, or sideways. "
Writer, H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


Discipline.
Self-Control.

I want to feel like Julie Andrews feels about discipline:
"Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly."

The Bible has things to say on this too...
"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."  Hebrews 12:11 

I lose motivation so easily.
So I went in search of advice... I think sometimes sticking to the routine and simply not thinking about whether or not there is a choice is key for me.  "Just pull up your big girl pants and do it." often works for me to do something I don't feel like doing.

Ah, there is the problem.. "something I don't feel like doing." I need to embrace the concept of 'Do it whether I feel like it or not!'  I'm thankful for FlyLady's concept of 'You can do anything for 15 minutes." 15 minutes of washing dishes, 15 minutes of clearing a corner of my desk, 15 minutes folding and putting away laundry, 15 minutes of walking...

And finally, a great quote by Seth Godin:
"Discipline is obeying the rule you set when you were in a different mood than you are now."

Here's what I came across on a quick google search of 'how to stay motivated.'

Seven Steps to Staying Motivated

1. Set a goal and visualize it down to the most minute detail. See it, feel it, hear the sounds that accompany the end result (wind rushing through your hair, applause). Elite athletes visualize their performance ahead of time — right down to the smell of the sweat dripping down their face as they cross the finish line.

2. Make a list of the reasons you want to accomplish the goal. In our busy, distracting world, it’s easy to get blown off course. This is why you need to ground yourself in your goal. For extra “success insurance,” write your list with a pen. Studies show that when we write by hand and connect the letters manually, we engage the brain more actively in the process. Because typing is an automatic function that involves merely selecting letters, there’s less of a mental connection.

3. Break the goal down into smaller pieces and set intermediary targets — and rewards. I’ve called this “chunking” long before there was a Wikipedia to explain that there are eight variations of the concept. To me it’s the best non-pharmaceutical antidote to ADHD. Tony Robbins, arguably the foremost motivational speaker and personal development coach, says: “A major source of stress in our lives comes from the feeling that we have an impossible number of things to do. If you take on a project and try to do the whole thing all at once, you’re going to be overwhelmed.”

Enter chunking. My system involves chipping away at a project. Break it down into the smallest realistic steps and only do one at a time. Neuroscience tells us that each small success triggers the brain’s reward center, releasing feel-good chemical dopamine. This helps focus our concentration and inspires us to take another similar step. Try this with your bête noire, whether organizing your papers and bills or setting out to find a new job.


4. Have a strategy, but be prepared to change course. Let Thomas Edison inspire you in this department: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.” “The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”

5. Get the help you need. It doesn’t necessarily take a village, but even if you could theoretically accomplish your objective alone, there’s inherent value in sharing your plan. It’s why people get married in front of witnesses. Announcing your intentions sends a strong message to the world and, more important, to your unconscious mind, which can sometimes sabotage our best efforts. Also, we often overestimate our abilities. The flip side is being highly selective about whom you tell and ask for help. It’s akin to the builder’s rule to always get “the right tool for the right job.”

6. Pre-determine how you will deal with flagging motivation. This is not defeatist thinking. On the contrary! It’s (almost) inevitable that at some point along the way, whether because of temporary setbacks or sheer exhaustion, you will need a little boost. When that happens, I think of what others have endured to reach their targets and to quash even the beginning of a pity party, I invoke the most hard-core endurance models I can think of: friends fighting serious diseases and Holocaust survivors.
Winston Churchill is particularly inspirational on this front. After London endured 57 consecutive bombings by the Germans during World War II (the Blitzkrieg), he was invited to address a group of students. In that speech, he uttered his immortal line “Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give up.

7. Continually check in with your reasons for carrying on. Despite his all-too-human flaws, Steve Jobs embodied this brilliantly. He once told an interviewer: “I think most people that are able to make a sustained contribution over time — rather than just a peak — are very internally driven. You have to be. Because, in the ebb and tide of people’s opinions and of fads, there are going to be times when you are criticized, and criticism’s very difficult. And so when you’re criticized, you learn to pull back a little and listen to your own drummer. And to some extent, that isolates you from the praise, if you eventually get it, too. The praise becomes a little less important to you and the criticism becomes a little less important to you, in the same measure. And you become more internally driven.”

See the Big Picture
There’s also a more meta, “Why are we here?” way to think about motivation. The great Jewish Rabbi Hillel (alive around the time of Jesus), famously said, “If not you, then who? If not now, when?” If you truly let those words sink in, it’s hard to be slacker.

From Forbes
* * *

** Don't let your goals run wild... When your sights are too ambitious, they can backfire, burn you out, and actually become demotivating, says Lisa Ordóñez, a professor of management and organizations at the Eller College of Management, at the University of Arizona, in Tucson. Instead of aiming unrealistically high (such as trying to save enough money for a down payment on a home in six months), set goals that are a stretch but not an overreach (come up with a doable savings plan for your budget).

...But work on them everyday. According to Daniel Pink, author of Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us ($27, amazon.com), taking small steps every day will not only help hold your interest in what you’re trying to achieve but will also ensure that you move slowly, but surely, toward your goal. So, for example, set up a down-payment-fund jar and dump your change into it every night. You’ll get a sense of accomplishment each day, to boot.

** Go public with it. Instead of keeping your intentions to yourself, make them known to many. “Other people can help reinforce your behavior,” says James Fowler, a political scientist who studies social networks at the University of California, San Diego. After all, it’s harder to abandon a dream when you know that people are tracking your progress. Take Stefanie Samarripa of Dallas, 25, who wanted to lose 20 pounds. She created a blog and told all her friends to read it. “I wanted something to hold me accountable,” she says. Samarripa weighs herself weekly and announces the result on Desperately Seeking Skinny (skinnystefsam.blogspot.com). During her first three weeks, she lost six pounds. “People read my updates and make comments, which helps me keep going,” she says.

** Make yourself a priority. Put your needs first, even when it feels utterly selfish. You will derail your progress if you sacrifice yourself for others in order to please them (such as eating a cupcake that a coworker baked even though you’re on a diet).

From Real Simple online article
* * *

Here are 5 steps to gain more clarity about why you want to change, and what you want in life:
 

Step 1:
Pull out a piece of paper and a pen.

 

Step 2:
Ask yourself the question, “What’s one area of my life that I’d like to change?” Write this answer on the top of the page.

 

Step 3:
Look at your answer. Now ask yourself, “But why is this important?” Write this new answer below your previous answer.

 

Step 4:
Repeat step 3 until you uncover the real reasons motivating you to change. Keep going deeper. You’ll know when you’ve gotten to the root cause of your pain.

 

Step 5:
Based on what you uncover, develop a clear vision of what you want in your life. Use this new awareness and motivation to help you remain committed to this new path.

 

Remember: Saying “I’m unhappy at work” or “I feel unfulfilled in my relationship” isn’t deep enough. Keep going!

We all face obstacles in our lives, but if we’re willing to do the tough work of asking ourselves “why?” these obstacles can truly become the gateways that lead to greater clarity and new beginnings. We can use this clarity to gain a deeper understanding of what we really want in life, and to motivate us to make lasting changes.

From Tiny Buddha

"Our character is basically a composite of habits. Because they are consistent, often unconcious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character." ~ Steven R. Covey


Sunday, July 28, 2013

A Month of Sundays

Starting today, and for the next 4 Sundays in August, I don't have to go in to work.  In essence, I have a "Month of Sundays" - literally, as opposed to every day of the month being a Sunday, which would be more mathematical than I care about right now.

I'm just focusing on the extra time this month. 

One of the weekends I'll be out of town ~ so I'm including today in the "4 Work-Free" Sundays idea.

Time. Having some time to myself this weekend has been amazing. I took Friday off because I believe I've had too much interaction with others, for others and (by my own choice), fulfilling obligations to others.  I still have some of that today to do, but there is time for some contemplation, and I am taking full advantage of it.

Himself and I watched "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" last night, then we watched "Forks Over Knives" and I cried when he declared, "I'm on board," after 'Forks Over Knives' credits rolled. I've been wanting him on board for so long, and while I am the who who never broached the subject, the testimony of a mutual friend who has been juicing for awhile gave me the crack in the door that I felt I needed to start the conversation.

I don't believe we'll be full-fledged vegans, but I think (am hoping) 85% plant-based/15% animal... a lifestyle with "Animal Products on the Side" kind of mentality is where we are headed.  Cut out the processed food. Spend more time preparing our own food (this is where I get stuck... not just that I can't be bothered, but there are so many other things I want to get done in a day... which needs to change) and not opening a box or a can or even defrosting. Spending more money on quality (organic, local) produce and meats.

One thing I have to say... (after watching a video where someone says... "and easy!" ~ With all the changes that will be coming... it might be simple, but it isn't easy. That, I believe, is a lie. Juicing for 15 days... won't be easy. But (and this is huge for my lazy butt) it is simple, and doesn't take a lot of time and or planning... which I look forward to.

The Engine 2 Diet - Rip Esselstyn's branch off from his dad's research and way of living that was documented in Forks Over Knives looks like a good way to start. They've partnered with Whole Foods... now to go find a reasonable juicer!

* * *
And I'm working toward going back to school for Music Therapy. Lots to do... very excited about parts of it. But the nutrition/holistic health thing really appeals to me too.


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

As Usual...

... I'm making what I think should be a joyful process of discovery into something much more complicated. This is what we get for having preconceived ideas, I guess.  Each of our processes is different... give myself some grace.

And yet....I keep coming to the same conclusions... and that just hacks me off.

I want to do it all.

Right now.

Instantly.

No Process, thank you. Instant Gratification Only -- (says the inner 6 year-old stamping her foot.)
* * *

Some good things have come out of this most recent mind-f***.
I think. 

Definitely some clarification after the massive ball of hurt and pain recedes.

Why oh WHY does it have to hurt to grow?  Do we hear the plants moaning and groaning as they make their way from seed to sprout to flower? Nooooo.... just us whiny humans.

hrmph.

end of whining (for today).
* * *

Anything that distracts me from Health & Fitness and Music (singing) is distraction.

I'm considering thoroughly what brings me ACTUAL happiness, not things that I think make me happy... if you think about it, there are definite differences between the two ideas.

ACTUALLY HAPPY LIST:
  • Having a pet (dog!)
  • Spending time with people who love me in the way I want (need?) to be loved.
  • Spending time with people I love.
  • Singing/Performing in a quartet (small group?). A good group. With people I have fun with.
  • Performing theatrics with an ensemble (stage/theatre, chorus, quartet)
  • Giving (giving cards, giving hand-made items, seeing things that I think people would like and getting it for them...)
  • Looking at photograph albums/memory books
  • Teaching/Sharing things I know with others who are interested in it.
  • Labelled Things. I love labelling and "Being Organized." With lots of colors - paper and pens.
  • Pizza
  • Cookies
The I-THINK-IT-MAKES-ME-HAPPY-BUT-IT-ONLY-REALLY-BRINGS-ME-STRESS LIST:
  • Making cards (fun, and I like doing it once in awhile, on a small scale, but will keep 5 sets, music and celtic and some meaningful quotes/sayings, some pre-folded cards and envelopes, and some colored paper... and a few other tools, but will pare down considerably!)
  • Scrapbooking (in the way I have... photos and looking at albums with stories/journalling brings me actual happiness, so I need to pare down the 'tools' and get back to basics!)
  • DIY - Doing It Yourself. Love looking at things people can do, love to think "I can do that!" (and I can), but the realistic-actually-DOING-it-part... ummmm.... not so much. I'm talking painting, decorating, hanging stuff on the walls, creating my personal space... I like the *idea* but not the follow-through.
  • Being part of "the inside group" - be it the "Management Team" or "The Board" or "The XYZ Group"... I like being 'in the know' but not on the inside.
 * * *

HACK AWAY AT THE UNESSENTIAL.

PERFECT IS THE ENEMY OF GOOD.

ANYTHING THAT DISTRACTS ME FROM HEALTH & FITNESS and SINGING/MAKING MUSIC/IMPROVING MY CRAFT IS DISTRACTION.
* * *

I like the photo a day thing - I find it is helping with some of the clarifying. I don't have to do every. single. day.

I will try, and I will falter. And that is okay.

Prompt for today was "T" ~ so I thought of representing my Bravvo Productions Tour! 1992, a small van carried 4 people and pulled a trailer and we sang and danced and improv'd our way up and down the east coast from Key Largo to Boston. Best decision I ever made was to quit my job and do this for 3 months. Money was awful, but the experience was fabulous. Can't believe it was 21 years ago!
* * *
So.... new habits on the horizon.
Decrease is the word.
Goal: To Live My Passion
Action.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Day 363 of Medifast - Happy 2012

New Year has always been hard for me... How did I do? What do I want to do? The whip comes out and it is a week before and after the first day of a New Year that I punish myself repeatedly over all the things from which I fell short. Painful.

Yesterday was no exception. I went to church - (YAY!! A good start to a new year!!) and had a lovely lunch at one of my favorite local restaurants, The Blue Willow (where, as it turns out, was about the only place I did any Christmas Shopping for this year) - with my good friend T, and had a delicious Mushroom, Spinach & Cheese omelet with sauteed veggies on the side... seriously yummy!! After that, I had time to myself, and the swirling little nags that whisper in my ear began.

There's been a choice I've been thinking about making... thinking for a long long while... about a road that I've been debating turning down... that absolutely would disrupt my life completely -- and yesterday, after being able to vent and talk a little about it to my other good friend; and some more time spent in thought and debate inside my own head this morning... when I finally prayed about it this morning as I was drinking coffee and eating my MF Brownie outside in the gorgeous sunshine -- and in probably one of the fastest answers to a prayer I've ever had ...I have, I think, finally internalized the gratitude attitude that is essential in keeping those of us prone to the trenches of depression, OUT of that downward spiraling rut...  and that serving others is what we are created for.

Making drastic changes externally doesn't change the inner voices and thoughts -- I'm still the same person regardless of my surroundings... to change our thoughts... that takes a discipline that I know exists, but as of yet I've not been able to be consistent with achieving. Disrupting my life wouldn't make it easier... it would just be another distraction to take me off the painful truth I have to face in my own self.  I'm not saying I'm a bad person... just that it is difficult to acknowledge places where I lack, and that my anger toward others is  because I see in them something I hate about myself.

Love myself = Love others.

I Am Enough... They Are Enough.

Judging Others really means I'm Judging Myself... and no one here on earth has any right to judge me, even me!

I think... no, I know (!)... my focus has been off. I've been incredibly selfish in my thoughts and actions this year -- some might say it was required in order to stay on the Medifast Path. I have 48 pounds to go. To be more honest - I weighed in at 236.2 this morning.  234.6 is the weight on my scale that needs to show 100 pounds lost. So as of today, I really have 50 more pounds to lose. I go up to MF this Saturday, the 7th... so I have this week to focus on losing those two pounds, and if I do some exercise (which I did *not* do early this morning - but the day isn't over yet), perhaps I could be down 1 more pound.

Well... Tuesday will be a year of Medifast, and the reasons I overeat are still here. I still feel the emotional pain, the anger that I quell with sugar (it may be dark chocolate now, but it is still not the healthiest way to deal with discomfort and/or anger) and the constant frustration at not being enough. But as I said in the previous post. Enough is Enough.  And I AM Enough.

It is Now Time to approach myself without judgement... and to focus on doing what I can to lighten a burden, and make someone else's journey that much more pleasant. 
* * *

3rd FB Post of 2012: Focus

Less Time on Facebook... More Time reconnecting.
[i.e., set the timer and stop when timer goes off - make a phone call, create a card and write a real note!]

Less Time feeling bad over all the things I've not done or accomplished... More Time acknowledging efforts made and awareness of success (even small successes like remembering to set the 15 minute timer for an unpleasant chore).
[Get back to writing in a journal/blogging on a daily basis with daily gratitude]


More Water... Less Coffee (more herbal tea).
[32 oz water before leaving the house for the day... makes 64 oz a day much easier!]

More Focus on others... Less Focus on *me me me* (could use some prayers and positive thoughts on this one... it is a challenge for this only child ;-).
[Meaning for 2012 I think is "what can I do today that will make someone else's day easier/better/cheerier/more blessed/more fun/positive?"]

More Walking... Less Sitting
[There are 23 - 1/2 hours to sleep and work and do the other things... 30 minutes every day of walking is a priority]

More Prayer... Less Mindless Television (Ummmm.... Downton Abbey is not mindless... right? ;-)
[Self-explanatory]

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

7 days away from the 365th Day of Medifast

... January 4, 2012 it will be one year.

So many things have gone through my head the last few weeks.

I don't know where to begin.  Except I know that losing the weight is only the beginning.  I am still the same person, with the same frustrations, the same inclinations, the same temptations as I was 100 lbs ago.

I know this because I have ventured off the MF path and indulged a bit -- not in bread, pasta, potatoes or corn on the cob... but in dark chocolate, and much larger portion sizes (which equals more calories and feeling more lethargic!).  I also did indulge in 3 Luxury Mince Pies (they're the size of a small cupcake) made by Walkers that were wonderful.  I didn't eat them all in one sitting...which was also very wonderful.  And there were 6 in the box, and one I gave away; two himself got to enjoy.

I felt really crappy Monday night after eating a lot of sugary things Sunday and Monday.  I will have sugar in my life, but it will have to be Oh-So-Worth-It, and very intentional.

I realize I HAVE to get back to blogging regularly.  It was this that kept me honest and focused - and I need to put my time and energy back here where it belongs.  Full Stop.

It has been a lovely break. I go back to weigh on January 7th -- and after the last dark chocolate covered almond with turbinado sugar and sea salt is gone (which it is now), I will be back to being 'good as gold' in the eating to lose weight Medifast Method.

Two things to consider as my 'new focus' in the new year -- [1] Stop Complaining and [2] Put things away whether I'm done/finished or not.

Life is an amazing thing. If you're reading this, you're probably incredibly blessed too. Let's be grateful for what we have, and the gifts we've been given (talents, skills, abilities) -- and share. 

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. --Ralph Waldo Emerson

Friday, December 9, 2011

Acceptance... of the gifts & talents... AND the 'Never Ever Evers...'

My new favorite blog/writer is White Hot Truth -- and THIS POST made me burst out in tears today.

I think we waste a lot of time wishing for things --

I wish I was... a naturally non-cluttered person;
I wish I was... more organized
I wish I was... better at math
I wish I was... more athletic

I wish for everyone that we become happy with who we are. Right Now. That we love who we are at this moment... that we are becoming exactly who we are meant to be - with all our natural abilities (maybe undiscovered), AND all our natural non-abilities (I have to work at keeping things simple and manageable). I have to re-remember every time all the reasons why exercise is what I want in my life... every single time I go to exercise.

I wish for everyone that we love ourselves for what we can do right now.

It isn't that I don't want to have goals or things to improve or work toward ~ but the inner beatings need to stop.  Accept that I'll never ever be a size 10... that I'll never ever have a flat stomach... that I'll never ever like to clean my house... that I'll never ever want to pull weeds or do the physical labor that is required for a beautiful back yard myself...

I am a natural singer, and have been blessed with musical genes from both sides of my family -- and I need to accept it, love it, use it and (hopefully) bless others with this gift. Stop comparing my special gift with others who ALSO have been given special gifts and talents.

Don't knock the talents you have just because it comes easily... there are people out there who wish they could do what we can -- and vice-versa. Enjoy the differences. Learn and challenge ourselves to improve... but love yourself all the time.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Day 292 (Eeek -- How is it almost Halloween?)

240.0 This morning.  4 lbs away on the Medifast Scale from 100 pounds lost.  (Started this journey at 338).

A bit disappointed that I'm hovering around this number for so long. BUT... my love for TJ's Almond Butter with Roasted Flax Seeds and the realization that I'm an abstainer (keep reading)... have contributed, among other regular life things, to being in this holding pattern.

On being an Abstainer (vs. a Moderator) -- Samuel Johnson said:
"Abstinence is as easy to me, as temperance would be difficult."
How I came to this realization: I brought chocolate in for my team at work -- we were having a tough month  [plug here: Please Give Blood... and if you can't, please encourage those who can to do it....], and so for every appointment for a blood donation, they could have a small piece of chocolate. The Halloween candy had just come out, so it was easy to find bite-sized treats.  I was fine resisting until I started on the Dove Dark Chocolate.  Then I had a couple of the bite-sized Reese's peanut butter cups, then the chocolate kisses.  The final straw came when I bought a bag of Tootsie Rolls at the dollar store, as a final test to see if I could just have the serving size (28 carbs) and leave the rest alone. And at the end of the day the entire bag was gone.  No, it wasn't a huge bag - it was the $1 store... but I've learned, without a doubt, that in these things it is easier for me to say NO altogether, than to be okay with just a few. In other words - this is why I have to say I'm an Abstainer, as I'm not moderate about much in my life... especially food.

Eating out in restaurants... sharing desserts is okay because once it is gone, it is gone -- and 2 or more people have helped. For me to order my own and only eat a few bites, or only eat half of it -- nope, not so much.

The Happiness Project blog is what brought this to my attention, and I'm for sure an "All Er Nuthin'" Girl! Which kills me... because I firmly believe that balance and moderation makes for an easier, fulfilling life... but apparently not for me. And I know I'm not alone... and what a bummer that I struggle with that 'never enough' issue. I'm sure there are some wonderfully deep psychological reasons for it... and perhaps as I continue on this journey this aspect of my personality will change.  In the meantime, limiting my access to 'off plan' food is the only strategy that will work to keep losing
* * *

I took days off this week to clear stuff out of my room... and to listen to the Sweet Adelines International Webcast of International Contest in Houston, Texas that is happening this week.  What a wonderful thing this technology we have (I truly have a love/hate relationship with technology...)

It is such an emotional thing to get rid of stuff. I love George Carlin's comedy routine about stuff -- so true.  I've been collecting books and articles on questions to ask when trying to decide what should go and what should stay.  The most helpful hint I've seen is "If I agonize for too long --> THROW IT OUT!! Don't make the decision whether to toss or keep a difficult one!"  This one helps as I start going through stuff.

December will be my last senior citizen craft class -- I'll give them my ideas for future craft projects, and anything that I may have that I haven't already donated.  I'm sad, but it is also a relief.  Part of discovering who I am again (now that layers of extra weight are gone), is continuing to ask myself what it is I want.  And the answer is always the same - music. My emotions are so strong about music and singing and what I want to be able to do... more on that later.

I've taken a small load of craft supplies to church... and my goal is to get pretty close to having all my scrapbooking supplies fit into one bag - and one bag for the album and pages. My cousin-by-marriage has reduced her scrapping stuff to this, and it just makes so much sense.  Harder will be getting rid of memorabilia I've been saving....  It was more important when I was living in Scotland to scrap. And as I've lost weight I realize that I was scrapping to re-live good times, that it was a way to validate myself and keep my emotions 'up' with the good memories.  I'm living a little more in the now, I think.

I do plan to keep on making cards and stamping...and there is a big cross-over in the supplies that it takes for that and scrapbooking... so it won't all go away (!)
* * *

I need to get back to regular posting... it helps me.  And pictures (though not much has changed in the last month).  I did finally make some muffins from the Medifast pancakes and different muffins from the eggs, shakes, & oatmeal... it has been a nice change to have "toast" with a bit of butter!

This is a weird, disjointed post -- I need some time away from the computer now, so it is what it is. :-)

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Day 236 ~ Scattered

Not 6 lbs away from 100 (math... grrr....) 12 lbs away.

And this morning I'm up on the scale, so who knows how far away I am from losing 100 lbs at this moment. I actually measured my lean and green last night - which I've not done in awhile... I did have an extra MF bar, however.

My walking buddy called this morning and she hadn't slept well, so wasn't going to make it.  So I'm finishing laundry, I went to the grocery store to get celery, cream for my coffee, eyeliner, and more La Croix water (this blogger writes with passion about how awesome this product is!!) - which I found in Cran-raspberry flavor... can't wait to try it!

I've taken out the garbage, taken the recycling to the curb, and made morning coffee for himself and me.  I'm planning on getting in the shower around 7:30 am, and was going to mindlessly surf on facebook, but decided I had time for a blog post.

I'm feeling stretched thin, and losing focus on making what I'm doing on Medifast fun.  I've stopped trying new recipes, I'm not reading the blogs as much, or checking in at the forums.  I'm trying to add another day of exercise in my week - which I did last week, and this week I'll now have to do tomorrow and Saturday.

I'm sporadic with my habits, and I know better! Which makes it so much worse. I think "just this morning" I'll skip my two glasses of water and vitamins... or my 15 minutes of dishes... or swishing and wiping the bathroom ~ and it leads to chaos (can't have anyone over syndrome) as well as boredom and complacency with my eating.  I don't want to be complacent... or bored. I'm kind of in an emotional slump, and lacking motivation and inspiration.

The definition of being a grown up is what we do every day. Every. Day. routines (a la Flylady). 

Priorities In Order: 
  • health & fitness;  
  • home & husband;  
  • work/career;  
  • quartet; 
  • family/relationships;  
  • chorus 
- with God over all as the guiding truth behind decisions... but I allow my mood to dictate my actions.  How true I have found the following quote ~

“Discipline is obeying the rule you set when you were in a different mood than you are now.” - Seth Godin
Answer? Just keep going... don't give up... every day is a new day... be grateful for where I am, and trust that where I am right now is where I need to be. Start using my 15 minute timer... and STOP when it goes off, and move on to the next task!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Day 225

At Medifast yesterday I was down 2.5 lbs for a total of 88 lbs down.  While I was only down 2 lbs over two weeks, my body scan showed that I have lost 7 lbs of body fat.  The walking 6 miles a week is helping!!

This morning on MY scale I saw a new number ~ 244.8.  Discussion with my MF counselor yesterday was focused on ... staying focused. Journalling. Making a plan of eating for the week... and I promised to get back to blogging every day -- putting this BACK on top of the priority plan.

Yes, life has things coming at us all the time, things which want to move us [DISTRACT!] from one direction to another... things that look more fun, or look like a better idea "in the long run," or... in my case... "Look! Shiny!" And before we know it, we've stopped the good habits we're trying to build.

And while I'm giving myself grace and forgiveness when I stumble for a time... that doesn't mean that my Health/Fitness actions move from the number #1 spot in my priority plan/schedule for the day, week, month, year, decade... LIFE!!

And God needs to be overall, in all goals, in all actions, in all plans... and I've lost sight of how helpful it is to take time every day to just "Be Still and know that He Is God" -- to release my worries, my stresses, my anxiousness to Him. 

As the Fabulous Renee Porzel said last weekend about chorus members on the risers... "[the director/choreographer's directions] release us from having an opinion."  ~ I think this relates fabulously to God and what He wants for us... His desire for us to follow Christ... (and the "Plan for Life" that is called the Bible) releases us from having to think about it.  Being obedient actually does give us a bit of freedom.

And this works for food, for exercise, for studying... just being obedient to the plan you're following, without argument, without cajoling, without bargaining... simplicity at its finest, really.

Ah... easier said than done, but what a good reminder for me today.

A number of years ago I lost 25 lbs doing the Weigh Down Workshop (Gwen Shamblin).  I think the foundation of the program (eat when you're hungry, stop when you're satisfied... and when you want to eat from any other reason other than fuel and energy for the body, then turn to God and His Word to fill that emotional hole.) is sound, though I think there was too much guilt, and then the program lost its way when her church started up (!)... ANYWAY... my point was -- Finding Freedom in Obedience was a mainstay of the philosophy, and 'being released' from having to argue or have an opinion is extremely freeing.
* * *

Yesterday was very busy... 4 hours on the road to Chandler... met my mom & step-dad for a brief visit and coffee after the MF appointment... then Craft Class (Fragrance Diffusers)... then picked up the soap we made in July... then dinner with a good friend... then home to my cute hubby and catching up on Project Runway.
* * *

My friend's been a widow 3 years today... I can't believe it has been 3 years since that tragic bicycle accident that took away the life of a vibrant, energetic, God-loving, enthusiastic, intelligent, oreo-cookie-loving husband, father & grandfather.

We never know what the day will bring.  It just reminds me again of what is important -- people and relationships -- not objects and possessions.


Saturday, July 9, 2011

Day 184 ~ Dog Days o f Summer... is it Cooler Yet?!

Well... I've not walked in two weeks and I really am missing it.  My work schedule is a bit varied: Mon/Thur 9am to 5:30 pm; Tue/Wed 6am to 2:30pm; and Fri 7am to 3:30pm... (!!)  I need to be walking at 5am rather than 6am in order to have enough time to get all the stuff done that I want to get done in the morning as well as walking, and I've not been 'like clockwork' in my rising habits.

That needs to change NOW.

I was up at 5am this morning (in bed by 11pm) as a friend is coming over to help me talk through what my craft/music studio/room set up needs to be.  My house is in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome -- from FLYlady) and so before she gets here I wanted to at least get the first layer of dog hair and dust cleaned up... and looky here, I'm blogging ;-) Can we say PRO-CRAS-TIN-ATE?!?! *lol*

I will vacuum and dust when this is done... the new craft room is coming along --- but right now it is in that 'in between' time where there is just stuff everywhere, and no place to put it. Overwhelming is just the first word to describe it.  Having someone to help me talk through what I need has helped tremendously in the past... and this friend is a 'do-er' -- she is a 'get 'er done gal' and extremely practical, so while I'm not as prepared for her visit as I was hoping to be, I think today will be a productive day and see results!
* * *

Eating wise I had a not-so-hot week... stayed the same because I wasn't getting up early enough to make decent dinners... not walking and just kind of eating on the fly. Because Medifast is a program that is so convenient, I have to keep up and maintain the good habits I'm learning forever... I let the health/weight loss priority slip and come up to number 3 or 4 at times this past week, and it shows on the scale.

Last night I finally cooked a real dinner (grilled chicken with my normal salad.. which is delicious!), but went overboard with the grilled veggies and spinach/romaine combination.  I hadn't cooked or fixed a lean and green all week... I was eating celery with TJs Almond Butter w/ Flax Seeds (this stuff is awesome), I picked up some really good seasoned roast beef from TJs, with some string cheese, and with the celery ate that one night... I think one night I had tuna/cottage cheese on my spinach/romaine combo, which was good... but most nights this week I just ate an extra one or two MF meals and that was it.  Not Good!!
* * *

I was out three nights with chorus stuff, and this month is gonna be chock-full again... a really fun weekend in August is coming up, but it requires extra rehearsals with a small group... and trying to get 8 busy women together is incredibly challenging.

I feel a little as if I'm doing 3 steps forward, 2 steps back.... 2 steps forward.... no movement.... 1 step back.... staying focused when there are so many things that distract me is certainly challenging.  I have to remind myself that I won't be able to do all those other things if I don't change my lifestyle... and the success I've had so far kind of lulls me into a sense of complacency.  I still have 50+ lbs to lose, but am feeling so incredibly good that perhaps I've lost a bit of momentum...?

I've let go of a few responsibilities, but now have new responsibilities at work, which I am enjoying right now... early days yet, but I really like my new manager (he has an extremely dry sense of humor, which reminds me of my uncle and lots of family :-), and being more of a coach and cheerleader for a new team seems to be working.

Rambling... that is what this post is doing... all over the place in my little brain this morning!

Time to stop procrastinating and start running the vaccum, now that it is almost 7am. 

Here's to a week that finds me back with the right focus and priorities!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Day 177 ~ 80 lbs DOWN!!!

Wow.

I can't believe I've come this far. I have to try on clothes now to see if they're going to fit -- whereas I just guessed before because it really didn't matter.  Big and loose was my criteria -- now I have to worry about what it actually fits like.

Shopping is becoming fun again... it has been A LONG time since I enjoyed going clothes shopping.  I still can't buy a lot, because I don't know what the final number/size will be ~ but there are certain things I can get that don't really matter -- things with drawstrings around the waist, for instance.
* * *

I finished the first week of work with my NEW PROMOTION!! WOOT!!! I think I'm gonna like it here.... I'm plagued with the normal self-doubts and general lack-of-knowledge and there are a lot more numbers than I anticipated (keeping track of agents' stats - CPH, APH, PROD, Efficiency, Testable, Show Rate....). 

Thursday, one of my new team members brought in 5 pans of home-made German Chocolate Frosted Brownies.... (?!?)  and gave me one of the pans.... OMG!!!

But, guess what? I wasn't even really tempted.  I was curious as to what they tasted like, but they did have huge chunky walnuts (not a fan of chunky walnuts... more of a pecan/almond/cashew/pistachio/peanut fan), so wasn't overly curious.  When I dished up a big plate for himself, I managed to sneak 1/4-of a fingernail taste of the frosting and it was TOO SWEET!! Hallelujah!!
* * *

Chorus and quartet have been really really busy... show planning for the chorus (November 12 is the date), singing gigs for the quartet ($$), and trying to get my craft room moved into the new room... plus it has heated up tremendously in the past week -- so of course, while I'm not feeling the heat like I used to, it is still 110 in the shade and makes me just want to sit like a lump in my recliner with the air blowing over me!

Plus the new job responsibilities... a changing schedule and normal "life" -- and things have been a bit busy.
* * *

Spent this afternoon with a wonderful, dear friend, who has discovered the joy and magic of theatre and acting ~ and we had a really good talk about passion, balance, choice and perspective at Starbucks over a course of 3 hours.  It was awesome!

An added bonus... I was turned away from the door when she came in -- I'd arrived about 10 minutes earlier, had our seats picked out and was putting my goodies in my iced Americano -- I turned around and she had not realized I was there already and thought she was there first and was looking for a table.  When I turned around her face was just lit up with surprise and love and pleasure for me.  She made me cry with compliments -- and that is how close to the surface I've been all day. Incredibly thankful and blessed.
* * *

I didn't walk this week because of the unknown schedule, but I think that will even out a little and I'm planning to add a third day in.  So far my buddy and I have been walking 3.1 miles 2X a week -- which takes just about an hour.  My 3rd day to add I'll keep to about 30-45 minutes, I think -- and we may be taking it inside the mall until the weather cools down -- we'll see.
* * *

I'm feeling good right now. So Grateful for my step-father, my mother, my dad, and my husband... along with my buddies on Facebook who are so supportive of my efforts of losing weight and just so encouraging... along with my wonderful lovely quartet friends, and of course, my Sweet Adeline friends.  I can't wait to see a bunch of them in August and perhaps have more than one of them not recognize me in my new skin.

I know I have to remember this elation now and forever, as once maintenance hits and there aren't any more accolades about how fantastic it is that I've been able to do so well (etc...), I'll need to keep myself motivated and remember these happy, glad and joyful feelings... and that it is ALL part of the journey... even when this is no longer new.

I'm not doing it for the compliments. I'm doing it for the life I want to live. To sing better. To have energy. To be reasonably fit. To meet others who have healthy goals and habits. For the Health of it!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Day 160

I think I might be turning into an early riser.

Of course, having the sun starting to come up when I get out of bed helps... so we'll see what happens when the days get shorter.

Happy 70th Birthday to my dad. He Rocks. ♥ Love you so very much.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Day 117 ~ 1.51 miles walked, another pound down!

Longgggg day yesterday... busy weekend ahead!  I slept in this morning until 7:30 and got out with the dog around 7:55.  I took a very leisurely walk this morning, and got back home at 8:25.  My back hurts -- but it was a gorgeous morning -- kinda windy, but not yet a hot hot wind... but it was warm.

I'm wearing clothes that have been in my closet for years, unworn because they were so ill-fitting. I have on a men's (large men's store) t-shirt, and a pair of old black pants that probably have holes in the crotch/rear end (!) but no one can tell because they're so LOOSE!! Whooo-Hooooo!!

I didn't really FEEL like walking this morning, but felt good about the fact I was doing it anyway.  Huge for me.

Lots of allergens floating around outside, and I've got that constant 'I'm gonna sneeze' feeling goin' on. bleh.
* * *

I ♥ Medifast. Just sayin'.  I had an extra MF meal last night, with an extra piece of string cheese... dinner last night was a can of tuna mixed with probably a 3/4 C mixture of non-fat and no-salt-added cottage cheese, on top of a bit of raw cabbage & baby spinach, and some roasted kale and baby asparagus (with some olive oil and salt, and TJ's '21-gun-salute' no-salt spice mix... my current new favorite thing).  Mixed it all together and it was very very good!! Thinking the tuna and cottage cheese will be the new tuna and mayonnaise!! :D

I had all bars (5), Parmesan puffs, the white cheddar mini rice cake things, plus the string cheese... all my water, and a large cup of coffee with cream and sugar free chocolate torani syrup in the morning.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Day 116 = A New LOW Number on the scale!!

YAY YAY YAY!!!

April has been the land of the same 4 lbs going up and down, up and down, U P and D O W N... just about driving me crazy!

I started walking this week... since last Friday I've walked 9.06 miles -- YAY ME!! :D

The endorphins make such a difference... I'm also saying a positive affirmation before I go to sleep every night, about how I love waking up early and working up a sweat in the morning... with joy and gratitude, etc... and the last thought I have before going to sleep is a conscious thought ... *I WANT to be fit, I WANT to get up early and welcome the sunrise... I want to get a jump start on my day and be happy and glad about it.*

Cuz really, it is just about changing our mind.

So much easier said than done.
* * *

I had a shift in understanding... I've said, I've read, I've known, I've understood... that putting fitness and exercise, if we really want to change, HAS to be the first priority... above social, above housework... for me it means fitness above chorus and quartet fun and those goals.  If I don't have my health, I won't be able to have the energy and stamina for someday directing a chorus, winning regional quartet contest, learning to arrange music in the barbershop (a cappella - 4-part) style, let alone just standing on the risers for 3 1/2 hours once a week (!).

Somewhere in my molecules, at a core level, I finally reached the point of heart understanding.  You know how sometimes you *know* something, and you understand the concept... your brain totally gets it. But it can be a long, difficult, arduous journey for that thought or concept to travel to your heart... where you 'get it.'

It is sort of a subtle change, I also refer to this as the switch being flipped... something in the inner core of my being changes significantly... and I think it is a direct result of "putting the right thoughts in the right bucket enough times," for that balance of buckets to change... which is what leads me to say it is as simple as changing your mind. But changing our mind is certainly not EASY.  Simple does NOT equal easy. Really and Truly making a change in our life is so very very hard... STAYING and KEEPING UP the changes is hard too. 
* * *

So, I was reminded at my Medifast clinic visit on Wednesday that I'm not supposed to exercise more than 45 minutes per day.  So... walk-running a half-marathon is out of my reach this year.  I'm pretty sure I can't do 13.1 miles in 45 minutes *laughing hysterically at the thought...*

So, I'm going to still do the Gabe Zimmerman triple crown, but the 5K fun walks instead.  I think I'll be able to get to 3 miles in about 45 minutes... especially if I don't take the dog on every single walk with me... The half-marathon will have to wait until I'm in transition and maintenance of Medifast... which, fingers crossed, will be next March!
* * *

Medifast Clinic Visit on Wednesday, April 27th
So..... I'm down 59.4 lbs in 16 weeks... that is an average of 3.7 lbs per week.

I was actually up .8 lbs from two weeks ago when I weighed in... BUT, my inches lost since the last time I 'd been measured was -26.25 for a total inches loss of 82.75!!

and this morning on my home scale, I am down 3 lbs since yesterday's weighing, and 5 lbs since Monday.

I'm over a third of the way to my goal.
* * *

I bought the MF cookbook this last time, as it is time to come up with some different meals.  I wrote down my L&Gs that I've been eating, and it seems I rotate between 9 different things... so I want to add another 9 or 10 to that number, at least so I can get a pretty good rotation going. 
* * *

Himself is recovering nicely from Gallbladder surgery a week ago Monday. The toughest part so far has been the recovering from the hernia repair... that is the part that the Doc said would take two years for it to be really normal.  They put in a wire mesh thingey, and we don't think it is something that will dissolve, but rather, it will be 'grown around' by his body... so the foreign object is what is taking so long to feel 'normal.'
* * *

My last day at work will be today -- going in to clean up some messes that I've left in my "To Do" files, and to finish up the Office Procedures Manual that I started.  The new gal I think will be a great fit for them, and I hope that this relationship lasts for a long time!
* * *

I've been really really busy with just doing the plan, and have missed blogging more regularly about it.  With my priorities sort of newly aligned, daily blogging may be something that doesn't fit within my daily habits right now... but once some of the other responsibilities I have are done and finished, then I'll stick it back in :-)
* * *

I've not done an April picture, so maybe I'll have himself take some photos later today... and then I'll log the numbers of the inches lost on the progress page as well.
* * *

If you're still reading.. thanks!! And I'm so thankful for anyone who stops by and reads... and I ♥ it when someone takes a couple minutes to just say "hi" and leaves me a comment.... *such a subtle hint, no?* 

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Day 112 ~ Up A Pound (!)

Urgh.

I walked 1.32 miles on Friday... and 2.88 miles on Saturday...

I got up at 5:15 am this morning to walk, but instead got caught at the computer. Wanted to go in to work and be there by 8am, but it is 7:52 as I write this, and that doesn't look like it is happening.  I have an appointment at 1pm, and then a chorus board meeting tonight... so it looks like my goals went out the window because I chose it that way.

Gandi said ~ "The future depends on what we do in the present."

I have future quartet and chorus goals... but really, my health has to come first or those goals won't matter.

I was so tired last night, I could have gone to sleep at 8pm, but instead I sat with hubby and watched an episode and a half of "Buffy" -- he's been watching the entire series this weekend... a "Buffy The Vampire Slayer FEST" ~ what a waste of time! But still, 9:30 is early for me ;-)

I'll walk the dog tonight.  For Rascal as much as for me!!
* * *

I spent about an hour mapping my neighborhood walks for mileage... and now have a 2.28 mile route, and a 3.13 mile route planned out... just so I can get mileage in without having to get in the car!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Day 109 ~ Time For A Real Reason To Get Up In The Morning

Well... today I've decided to begin to commence to start (*hee hee*) training for a half-marathon in Tucson in December. I'll be mostly walking/jogging (at least, that is what I believe I'll be doing at this point in my weight loss journey) per Jeff Galloway's  "Run Injury Free" methodology ..... he invented the "Galloway RUN-WALK-RUN™, low mileage, three-day marathoner training schedule [with a] ... 98% success rate." And when I'm in better condition to actually start training, I can download ipod sessions with the intervals all worked out for me. I ♥ Technology. (at least, I ♥ it today... it is a love/hate relationship with technology...) 

Just getting up in the morning to exercise hasn't really been pushing the right buttons to actually *get me to bed on time* and *get my you-know-what* out of my comfy-cozy snooze-fest bed. I know I need another reason that is more specific than "to be in better shape" or "to be fit" or "to lose weight faster."  For me, this would be a HUGE change in my life... and I'm committed to making this goal the number one priority (after sticking on the Medifast Diet 5 and 1 plan!!).

So: Tucson's Marathon (which is a Boston Marathon Qualifier, in case anyone wants to know) is Sunday, December 11, 2011. Holy Moly, I just clicked the "Register" button and it costs $70.00! With a Registration Fee of $4.84 and I have to purchase by the end of June.  I guess I'm just in time to put my feet where my mouth is (and have the money follow). 

Because I'm not in any sort of fitness condition to actually begin a training program... the Jeff Galloway site has an 8-week conditioning program -- I'll be just walking for now... I don't want to start jogging until I'm 25 lbs or less away from my goal weight.  As it is now, I'm 3 lbs from the weight limit on the elliptical we still have in the box... which I'm soooo excited to be so close to putting it together!
* * *

Eating: I'm up .8 lbs -- but still down (?!) if that makes any sense. I wrote out my list of "Tried and True" Lean & Green recipes and posted them on the fridge, (there are 9 of them) -- and over the next couple of days plan to try 4 new ones, and then find/try another 10 for a good rotation of meal options. Having the list on the fridge will hopefully help me write out the grocery list and plan a little better.
* * *

I start training with my new job on May 9th ~ I called the company and received confirmation that yes, I've been accepted as a new hire. I'm relieved, excited, kinda bummed about a real schedule that will have to be followed, but ultimately Very Very thankful, grateful and happy to have a larger paycheck in my future.

This was another reason to simplify my "GET UP EARLY AND EXERCISE" goal ~ if I'm working at 8am and it takes me 20+ minutes to get to work... I really need to start getting up at 5am (at the latest) so I can meet my running buddy nearby (i.e., get dressed and in the car), do the workout, get home, walk the dog, get showered and ready for work and leave with plenty of time. Call Center = No Likey Tardy Peeps.
* * *

I feel good today... I've been feeling really crappy the last couple of weeks -- headaches, shoulder aches, despondent thoughts, spirits down, bored with MF (due to my inability to move past the -54 lb mark, I'm sure...), and frustrated with myself and lack of follow-through with the getting up.

I feel like I've turned over a mental leaf.  I know there are people who are out there keeping me in their thoughts and prayers, and rooting for me... and I'm so thankful and grateful for you ♥.

Happy Good Friday...
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Oh Yeah!!!! ~ One More Thing...

I tried on clothes that haven't fit me for awhile last night, hoping I'd have something "new" for Easter Sunday... and a blouse that really didn't fit when mom bought it for me, which I tried on about a month 1/2 ago and still was too snug... is something I think will be perfect for Easter Sunday!! WOOT!!

A favorite skirt that I've kept for ages fit too! Still a little snug around the waist, but it is a pull over/pull on skirt ~ and just being able to slip it over my head AND back off again without dislocating anything was a major feat! I can't wait to shop and find a couple of tops to go with it :-)

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Day 101 ~ Blood Pressure

So... my blood pressure yesterday at MF Clinic was 101/90.  This is without any Lisinopril w/ diuretic. 

I figured out that the weight gain I had a few weeks ago was because of the lack of diuretic... and that is happening again.  I'm up 4 lbs in two days, but I stopped taking the meds on Sunday because [1] the scrip has run out and I've not gone to the doctor and [2] for the last 3 visits (6 weeks) to the MF Clinic my bp numbers have been extremely low. 

I've not been to the doctor because I want to find a new one... a very childish reason, I feel ~ it isn't really a valid excuse, yet it is the thing that is stopping me from going in.  I've been mad at my doctor's office because I never did receive a call/appointment for my mammogram last year ~ and I mentioned it every time I went in to see them (which, last year, was a total of three times from March '10 to December '10).
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The past two days have been rough ~ and I was finally able to release with tears on my drive home yesterday after dinner while listening to music... just the over-the-top feelings from the weekend (which was fabulous but high-intensity), then coming home to a dirty house, and reminders everywhere of all the things I'm not good at and I want to say I don't care about, but that wouldn't be true... all that anxiety comes out with the tears. What a relief!
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I am really out of my routine ~ and need to get back into it... my life right now just feels out of control.