So... my blood pressure yesterday at MF Clinic was 101/90. This is without any Lisinopril w/ diuretic.
I figured out that the weight gain I had a few weeks ago was because of the lack of diuretic... and that is happening again. I'm up 4 lbs in two days, but I stopped taking the meds on Sunday because [1] the scrip has run out and I've not gone to the doctor and [2] for the last 3 visits (6 weeks) to the MF Clinic my bp numbers have been extremely low.
I've not been to the doctor because I want to find a new one... a very childish reason, I feel ~ it isn't really a valid excuse, yet it is the thing that is stopping me from going in. I've been mad at my doctor's office because I never did receive a call/appointment for my mammogram last year ~ and I mentioned it every time I went in to see them (which, last year, was a total of three times from March '10 to December '10).
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The past two days have been rough ~ and I was finally able to release with tears on my drive home yesterday after dinner while listening to music... just the over-the-top feelings from the weekend (which was fabulous but high-intensity), then coming home to a dirty house, and reminders everywhere of all the things I'm not good at and I want to say I don't care about, but that wouldn't be true... all that anxiety comes out with the tears. What a relief!
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I am really out of my routine ~ and need to get back into it... my life right now just feels out of control.
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