Monday, January 31, 2011

Day 28 - Refocusing

I had Shirataki Noodles, with a Tofu stir fry with Zucchini & green onions for my Lean and Green tonight... have a picture and will post!

A Good Day Today -- shopped at Sunflower and found the noodles ~ had leftover Tofu from the other night, and I found a bunch of low-fat and some low-sodium cheese.

Will catch up tomorrow!

Days 26 & 27... Unfocused!

I ate okay... too much salt, and too many condiments... wanting to chew "real" food before going to bed... I can feel the focus slipping -- back to business Monday!

Portabella Mushroom "Pizza" was excellent... I grilled them and made my own "pizza sauce" -- and sliced string cheese sticks on top -- pictures tomorrow.

Baggin's has a lettuce wrap option on their menu - so I had 1/2 my Lean & Green today for lunch, and probably more than half for my dinner... but as I've said... back to business and routine and planning tomorrow!

It was a chorus weekend... 13 hours of coaching between Friday, Saturday & Sunday ~ technology challenges (I'm the one in charge of the video cameras), and I didn't do as well as I would have liked in staying focused on MF.

Tomorrow is a new day!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Day 25 ~ Productivity

A good day today! Talked to a friend of mine from way back... and it was awesome :-)

Did quite a bit of catching up with some of my chorus stuff...

And had a great night with coaching for the chorus... sitting with my feet up and the heating pad on my back, in my pjs :-)  Winding down for an early night... long day tomorrow!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Day 24 ~ When Resolve "Thins"

Scale was up .6 lbs this morning... I weighed about 2 hours before my "usual" time in the morning.

I couldn't sleep when I went to bed at 10:10 pm last night, tossed around for an hour, felt a headache and was hungry... got up at 11:15pm and grabbed 1 bite of white breast chicken and a cheese wedge, took some Tylenol PM, surfed the 'net until I felt sleepy, then went back to bed. LOTS to do today, and upset with myself that my morning routine won't be what I want it to be because I didn't do a number of things on my list yesterday afternoon.

I DID, however, take the dog on a 15 minute walk yesterday evening as the sun was setting.
(posted at 6:14 am)

2:46 pm
Feeling better! Still tired... but my oatmeal was tasty; I got my work done at work and the Newsletter will go out on time, I planned ahead for shopping after work and had a Chocolate Pudding Shake with me, did my protein and veggie shopping at TJ's, and went to Big Lots for a couple things I needed - and got a few things I didn't (!)... just ate my Chili with a large clove of garlic put in after I heated it up; as I seem to be developing a cough. Took an extra B vitamin supplement and Echinacea this morning.

Outside of Trader Joe's there was a guy playing the violin... he wasn't directly in front, but off to the side on the other side of the cart storage area.  I smiled at him when I went in, and when I came out he was still there. I checked my wallet and had two $1 bills, so after taking my groceries to the car I made the extra trip back (taking a cart with me) and tossed them into his violin case.  He seemed genuinely surprised, and just after me another guy seemed to be coming over to give him some money too. He was very thankful, and after I walked away and turned the corner I started to cry... and it wasn't just quiet tears... it was the kind of forceful storm that takes your breath away... I got into the car and let it out -- sunglasses on, blowing my nose... and wondering where in the H*ll that came from?!?

I started driving home, still wondering what is going on -- and as I was turning into my street, the flood of emotion came over me again -- and more tears... and I'm trying to figure out what I'm feeling that is causing it... it could be so many things (I think it is close to Girl Week - my new favorite phrase to describe this particularly feminine ordeal)... the fact that he wasn't wandering from car to car asking for spare change, but he was contributing beauty to an otherwise normal day, and looking for kindness from strangers...?

I'm really close to the surface with a lot of stuff right now -- and while it is totally exciting and I look forward to each new thing I'm learning, it is still overwhelming -- and I deal with overwhelming by just having a cry. 

I remember my mom talking about how much she enjoyed the Albert Brooks movie "Broadcast News" with Holly Hunter and William Hurt (1987) and I watched it, and remember not understanding the scene where Holly Hunter sits on her bed, seemingly fine, then starts crying.... an article online at Time Magazine describes it perfectly...

...Then she unplugs the phone, sits on her bed and has a good cry: heaving shoulders, racking sobs, a face contorted into a bruised fist, a doll in tears because no one will buy her. Is this person in control? Perfectly. There is no wasted motion or emotion in this petite dynamo. Jane has simply, in the words of the actress who portrays her, "penciled in times to cry."
Now, I understand. Totally and Completely. Not that I've scheduled times to cry -- I'm not that organized (if only...!) but that release of letting the tears out is such a relief! 
Therapist thinks I deny a lot of emotion, mainly anger... which isn't what I'm thinking about right now for this post (hmmmm....), and I don't think I was angry at the Violin Busker at Trader Joe's.  I don't think it was anger this time... I think I'm still processing how much life is changing quite quickly in the weight loss arena.  The scale showed I was slightly up this morning (as mentioned already above), so I know I'm now really just starting the hardest part of the journey... and really, Carrie, STOP weighing every day.  Every three days should be a good enough monitor!

And I am on the tired side.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Day 23 ~ Busy!

Real life is imposing... creeping in! A very busy week, month and next few months! The key is planning... and my next mini goal is to be in bed, No Later than 10:30 pm every night (except Chorus Nights) and then up at 5 am.  And what, pray, am I going to do in my spare morning hours?

Every morning I have a goal to do 30 minutes of movement... walking the dog (15 minutes or so) and the JP Muller routine (15 - 20 minutes or so).  I'd like to incorporate these two things on a daily basis... no special equipment or special clothing required. 

After doing these two things consistently for 3 weeks, I'd like to add in toning with the elastic bands (I bought last year as a Christmas Gift to myself) 3 days a week, doing the Tai Chi DVD (that I bought a long time ago and haven't even opened yet), and 1 or 2 days a week doing an in-the-house "Walk Away The Pounds" DVD (which also has never been viewed).

So... 30 minutes a day starting TOMORROW (Thursday, January 27th!) until Friday, February 18th; which is the day I'll SLOWLY begin adding the bands, tai chi, and the walking video.  I think starting out with 2 days of additional movement per week for awhile, then upping it to 3 days a week for awhile, then adding in 4 days is smart for this easily-overwhelmed gal. A  s l o w   build-up of new activity hopefully won't shock me (meaning my challenging 3 year old) into resistance and rebellion.

In keeping with the concept of One Change/ New Habit every two months, I think staying focused on the weight loss (which has meant creating healthy meals) is still my main focus, and the addition of including some exercise every day is the "complete thought" of creating healthier body and lifestyle habits.

By March 1st, I'll be ready for another new Habit -- and I think it will be two months of making exercise the next priority to have in my life on a daily basis. I'm tired of my back aches!! Not being able to stand for 3 hours on chorus risers makes me a VERY UN-happy Bunny!!!

When I reach 250 lbs, we'll set up the elliptical (that has a weight limit of 250 lbs... which annoys me that I can only be "that fat" in order to use it... I can't be fatter, the fact that I need it MORE the fatter I am... can you see my point...? *sigh of disgust*) and I'll add 20 minutes of that into my variety... (I love the elliptical machine!!) and I bought a jump rope along with the bands, and when I'm under 200 lbs I'll add jumping rope as added aerobic exercise... not fun for knees to be jumping when I'm carrying this much weight right now.

In addition to the Exercise...
I think it'll be smarter to slowly (oh so slowly) add in more morning activities ONLY after the 3 weeks of consistent, daily, 30-minutes of movement by building it in one day a week, then two days a week, and so forth...

Eventually my plan will look like this: two mornings a week doing house chores for 30 - 45 minutes -- laundry, vacuuming, general pick up, emptying the garbage, etc... Two mornings a week pursuing my Musical Goals for an hour to hour and 1/2 -- going through the DCP (Director's Certification Program) for Sweet Adelines, being the first thing I want to spend time doing, along with doing tasks as the lead for my quartet, and tasks as section specialist for my chorus.  Then one morning filing and cleaning up the paper piles that surround me, for about 30 to 45 minutes until a habit is formed and the piles can be kept under control in 15 - 20 minutes a day.

It looks like now that the exercise habit will be PLENTY to keep me occupied for March and April... and I'll keep doing what I've been doing in the mornings after the exercise, then take it from there to see what May and June's habits will be.
* * *

Had my Medifast Clinic Call #2 (counts as Session #3) with Lindsey this afternoon... all is well! I'm drinking my water - key for me is getting in my 32 oz in the morning... helps me from having to get up in the middle of the night to pee - really don't care for that!  I'm taking the vitamins... and she asked if I had any special challenges coming up this next week -- and I'm glad she did -- we have all day coaching on Saturday and socializing afterward at a local bar/restaurant.  Thinking about what I'll be eating to keep me going that day was a good thing to start thinking about today!

My scale showed a .4 loss from yesterday -- which I was quite pleased with as I know the rate of loss will be decreasing... I'm adjusting my pleasure to be just as pleased with small moves in the right direction!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Day 22 ~ Back to Basics

I was completely in-line with plan yesterday... and was rewarded this morning with a 2 lb loss!! That makes 26 lbs gone as of today... will have to see what the chorus scale shows tonight.

Starting to walk today... didn't get up for the dog, but have my pedometer and will walk around the neighborhood where I work.  A homeowner suggested I take 10 minutes after work while the weather is so beautiful and just walk around the neighborhood... D'uh! So today I'll start doing that.

I read an article about JP Muller and his system of 15 - 25 minutes of exercises every day. I think to start that as an addition to my morning routine next week would be great... and I think that with walking the dog in the mornings, that would be ideal.

I've been trying to figure out how to carve time in the mornings to get housework done, AND the musical goals I want to accomplish for myself (Director's Education Program, Arranging Music, Learning new music for Quartet)... and am thinking 3 days a week for music, 2 days a week for laundry, vacuuming, garbage-emptying and general pick up; with dishes and kitchen always on the list.... then hopefully the afternoons can be saved for weight loss routine(s) - blogging, menu planning etc... and special projects -- for example... taking the Christmas Tree down.

Yep, still UP!!
One year it was up until St. Patrick's Day... Not THIS year...!

This afternoon I'll update my food log, but here's a picture of my dinner last night...

That is a HUGE portion of meat... since I'm allowed 5 oz of pork, and this was only 3.5...
I had some cheese last night!! :D YAY!!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Day 21 - Habit Yet? [Choices]

They say doing something for 21 days is the way to break or create a habit. Phooey. At least, Phooey if there isn't knowledge and consideration made for the fact that I Still Have To Think About It [The Habit] Every. Single. Time.

Conscious Thought. Since I can remember I've always been interested in self improvement - being "More Than." So I've been reading and consuming positive messages and self-help stuff since at least my teen years.  When I first read that it "only takes" 21 days to create or break a habit, I thought that was wonderful!! I made my bed for 21 days in a row, and I guess I thought that on the 22nd day, by magic, making my bed would seem effortless... something I would do without thinking about it.  And this is why I say Phooey to the 21-days in making or breaking a habit... because on day 22, 23, 24 and infinity... making my bed is something I have to struggle to do. I *totally* still had to THINK about it!!

I STILL have conversations with myself in the morning to just pull up the d*mn covers!  And the main reason I do it is so Rascal, when he comes and sleeps on our bed, doesn't fill the sheets with dog hair, which I then end up spitting out when I snuggle down between the sheets when I go to sleep. 

Do I like my bed made? Yes.
Do I know that if I don't make it, it won't be made? Yes.
Do I make my bed every morning? No.
Let me qualify a little... when I say "Make the bed" -- I mean like the beds you see on the front of a decorator magazine (which is my first problem).  I manage to pull up the covers at least, but I wish I had more drive to really make a better effort.

Which brings me to that phrase, "I wish I had more..." If I really wanted to, I would.  So, apparently, I don't really want to, and all these feelings are just excess guilt that really doesn't help me achieve anything.

I'm using the making the bed as an example... Day 21 is 3 weeks of Medifast.  And I am doing things differently than I was 3 weeks ago! I've been getting up even more consistently early -- need more time to prepare my meals for the day and blog.  The writing every day I think is essential to my success. Being honest with myself is also crucial, and yet I still am playing games in my mind... so have some stuff to work on there.

The point is -- if I, for a second, let down my guard and think that this new way of eating is a habit I don't have to think about... it is over. This is a forever commitment. No more mindlessness.

I'm not going to wake up some day and magically walk on a clear, weeded and cultivated "garden" path; the path that I'm now trying to plough through with a machete and hacksaw in the emotional jungle that is my life.  This path will always need care... when I've mapped my route through the jungle, there will always be a hanging vine, or creeping bush that will stray onto the manicured edging. That stray vegetation will need pruning, or even a digging out of the root... and to ignore or avoid it by way of food (my old way of dealing with things I wanted to avoid) is really no longer the option I want to take.

I want to remember that there is comfort in routine. There is a safety in good habits. There is freedom in discipline. (Really, there is... I say sweetly to my inner 3-year old who is still too sleepy to put up much of an argument right now)

"Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly." ~ Julie Andrews

My first instinct it seems has always been to resist. To Challenge the authority that is telling me I should, or I Need To, or I Have To. Choice is key. I'm CHOOSING to wake up every morning and make my bed. Or Not. Walk The Dog. Or Not. Eat On Plan. Or Not. And accepting each choice as My Decision, is KEY to my success! "Just Change My Mind" (and view decisions from this perspective) -- simple. Sooooooo NOT Easy!!

And 21 Days is an excellent start.  21 Days of remembering this is My Choice. That everything is My Choice. (I'm not fooling myself to think I'm in control... not that at all!!) My Choice of acting by Reacting, or not Reacting, but rather Pro-acting.

* * *
Lyn at Escape from Obesity wrote an excellent post this morning about Obsessive Eating.  I haven't binged in a long long time, but I have kept secret food in a hiding place so I wouldn't have to share. She talks about Medifast as a kind of Food Rehab, which I totally agree with... it is nourishment, it tastes okay, but it isn't triggering unhealthy eating responses... unless we "Doctor the Flavor" up too much.  Fabulous Post!!
* * *

Edited to say: While I know this (change of eating) is a forever commitment, I understand that the longer I do it, the easier it is to make the right choices... But it seems to me that it is WAY easier to fall out of good habits (regardless of how long you've been doing it/them), than it is to create a good habit.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Day 20 ~ Concrete Details

Concrete Productivity vs. Processing Emotions and thoughts

This morning I slept in until 8:15... I tried to sleep until 9am but, too many thoughts clamoring that needed action! I got out of bed to feed the dog and pee (my only definite "routine" in the morning...), and I put the hot water on to boil at medium.  I went back to bed, thinking I'd catch a few more zzz's, and then thought that leaving a 1/2-full kettle on medium to boil dry in 45 minutes wasn't the best idea...(!) and then started thinking of all the things I wanted to do before this afternoon's quartet rehearsal, so I got out of bed and got movin'!

I started coffee, started soaking my Maple & Brown Sugar Oatmeal, started some tea, took my MF vitamins, turned on the George Foreman Grill (GFG), and in-between all this I was putting clean dishes away, loading the dishwasher and hand-washing utensils I would be needing to prepare the day's food.

I started grilling the chicken that has been marinading for two days - divvied up the white tenders into 6 oz portions and put them in labeled baggies; divvied up the dark thigh meat into 5.5 oz portions and one 2.5 oz portion.  I prepared cream of chicken soup for this afternoon's quartet rehearsal, and put in 1/4 cup chopped spinach leaves (a recommendation from Lyn at Escape from Obesity) and took .5 oz from one of the dark meat portions and cut up really fine little bits of chicken, along with substituting 1/4 cup of water for low sodium chicken broth.

I started eating my Oatmeal at almost 9am, and just finished it when I sat down to write this post... at almost 9:45am... had to warm in up a couple times before I could finish it!

I even went out and picked up the Sunday paper *on purpose* thinking I might have time this morning to look a the food sales and stock up! [Normally I pick the paper as I'm leaving the house, and it sits in my car for weeks or months...]

So I've been quite productive this morning and feel all self-righteous because I got so much done - and now I reward myself with some blogging.

Oh Yeah -- and I am back down the pound I was up yesterday... so that helped my good feelings; though I know I am doing good things, so being the same would have not been a disaster or anything.

* * * * *
Doing Something Concrete is usually my answer for combating unhealthy thoughts and feelings.  Concrete Details of preparing today's food and this week's protein for some soups or meals... the activity kept me focused this morning and prevents me from dwelling on all the things I haven't done, or the things that I have yet to do, or the worry that I really need to find another part time job or a full time job quite soon.

The questions I put down a couple days ago really need some attention, a few minutes at a time... I've been living a lot of my life as a reaction to my upbringing, as opposed to choosing what I really believe would be the best choice for me.  I actually realized this as a seed of a thought in my late 20's, but back then I wasn't a big deal. It has become a bigger deal.

* * * * *
And what would I want to write in my obituary... I've seen this on a couple self-help/life-focus blogs or articles, but haven't taken the time to do it... when I read an Obituary, I'm struck by what kind of service their life reflected. I believe we're put here to help other people, but I don't think we know very often what kind of positive influence we might have... which is one of the reasons if I hear something nice said about someone else, I will repeat that nice thing back to the person of whom the comment was said -- because I feel we don't tell others sincerely how much we appreciate them.   If what I'm doing isn't appreciated, then I will move on to something that will be more appreciated.

How do I know if it is appreciated if someone doesn't say something? And not just a passing, "thanks" when the event or an evening is over... for me to really know that my effort is appreciated, I want a couple minutes taken out of someone's day by a postcard or a phone call, or a personal email even.

In my world, this concept is tied up with whatever our natural talents or gifts are... what is a talent for me -- something that comes so naturally without thought or effort... it is easy for me to not give myself credit for that, and even easier to negate someone else's positive affirmations of what I've used the talent for, because I didn't have to work at it. I throw away those kind and gentle words of others because I didn't have to DO enough to earn it.

The Twisted Way We View The World!

These Thoughts To Be Continued...

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Day 19 ~ Feeling Good!

Up early to take one of the vehicles in for servicing, done by 8:20 am -- cleaned out my car (!), started laundry for himself, cleared off some of the couch mess, copied a CD for my quartet, more laundry for himself, put my laundry away, filled in my calendar and wrote a "To Do" for this week.

I ate my Oatmeal at 7:30 am this morning, and had my Lemon Crunch bar at 10:30 this morning... need to go re-figure out my craft class this afternoon so I'm not stumbling over myself in the explanations, and have lunch around 1pm, I think -- take a shake with me for after the class, then Mahi Mahi for dinner.

I went to sleep later than I wanted to, but got up okay and am feeling productive. My back is hurting, so I hope I can keep up my productivity after class... have lots of fun things to do for chorus and quartet if I can keep up my energy!!

I can feel my procrastination in dreading going and getting the craft stuff together... so I'm gonna set the timer and just spend 15 minutes!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Late Night Eating

I like to eat late... I've been trying to plan my meals throughout the day so that I have something just shortly before going to bed.

Tonight I had my two pickle spears as my optional snack... and I had an extra wedge of cheese. I had 5 oz of dark meat chicken in my salad tonight, and had the vanilla pudding shake and a lemon crunch bar while I was out scrapping, and it was great.  Then I come home and want to eat.

Lesson: Save a MF meal for when I arrive home from whatever I've been doing. It is a mental thing, really.

Up early tomorrow morning, and have the reschedule craft class tomorrow -- and so many things to do I need to make a list!

Day 18 . . .

I was down another pound on the Home Scale this morning!!! *happy skipping for me!*

Here's the Grilled Shrimp Salad I made for dinner last night!

Last night I fixed the marinade for Mahi Mahi & Chicken Tenders (himself's faves) and Boneless Chicken Thighs (I get less dark meat than I would of white, but I so much prefer dark over white...!) When I get home this afternoon I'll grill the chicken, put it in dinner size portions, then freeze them for the time(s) when I just really can't think about it.

Tonight I'm supposed to go scrapbooking with a group that usually has a delicious meal prepared -- I want to go, and will have to see what inspires me this afternoon. At this point I'm thinking salad with the Mahi Mahi, a Shake all prepared, a bar & a diet soda probably would be good ammunition to go with!

So ~ Other things on my mind...
Living Reactively vs Proactively.
If I were to write my Obituary, what do I want to say?
Off The Grid Living (I've been fascinated with this stuff since like, my late 20's)
What to look to when the scale doesn't move:
  • Ask Self ~ How are my clothes fitting?
  • Tell Self ~ This is normal, just keep doing the right thing
  • "Take Care of your body. It's the only place you have to live." ~ Jim Rohn
  • "That which is bitter to endure may be sweet to remember." ~ Thomas Fuller
  • "The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!" ~ Marvin Phillips (I LOVE this!! *grins!*)
  • "The groundwork of all happiness is health." ~ Leigh Hunt (oooohhhhh.... this is excellent!)
  • "When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe
I found the above from weight loss quotes

The other stuff will take some more thinking about... living in reaction is a huge change of thought process on how I make decisions and choices. Good, Meaty Stuff to Think About!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

. . . On Being a Grown Up

Apparently one must make choices when one is a grown up.


Day 17 ~ Still Feeling the Joy!

Re-reading yesterday's post (which I've not edited), I can tell I was scattered and emotional... kind of an emotional "free-write" which they used to have us do in creative writing in school back in the day. The realization that this is Actually. Happening. and that I. Am. Successful. is still an eruption of joy and love for myself that I don't feel very often ♥.

On one hand, the past two weeks + 1 day went by really super fast -- on the other hand it really didn't. Yesterday the thought crept in that this is going to [at some point] get hard. I want to nibble.  I love to nibble. I was down on the home scale another pound this morning (woot!), which is a wonderful, marvelous thing! But how am I going to react when the scale stops moving for awhile? That will have to be another post for another day.

I know I need to still clear out some clutter from my life -- otherwise the overwhelming feeling will creep back in, and crash into this new way of thinking about food.  But, maybe I've not yet explained conclusively what I'm talking about when I say "new way of thinking about food."

One Big HUGE reason I really appreciate Medifast is the limits. Dealing with less choice is so much easier for me.

In this post-modern world that is so full of instant information (not to mention instant gratification) by way of fax, email, internet, IMing, texting, cell phones, laptops, mobile web devices and whatever the next thing is that is being created -- we have so much information being told to us for our own good... things that we "Should" do. Specifically regarding Healthy Eating & Lifestyle... we have the when, the what, the how and the why of foods and activities we should be incorporating in our lives.

I always thought I preferred Weight Watchers over other programs because it was REAL food. You have to make REAL LIFE CHOICES regarding what you are putting in your mouth.  We have to face reality eventually about making the right choices after we've lost the weight and reached goal, so (in my thinking), we might as well START OUT RIGHT and learn to make those choices right at the beginning!

And ultimately, I still believe that!

But I'm no longer thinking of WW as the only way... with a slight air of judgement for any other weight loss program out there... *shame on me for the judgement*

But... BUT -- for some of us... trying to figure out 100 calorie snacks or 'mini meals' every two to three hours that will incorporate the wants we desire (along with the nutrition needs) is completely overwhelming and my tendency was to give up before I even really started.  I'm talking about making decisions based on taste, chewing, sweetness, savoriness, the bulk amount (size of serving) of the food we choose... all those things come into play when trying to devise a *satisfying* eating plan within the wide variety of food choices we are so very blessed to have.

And don't even get me started on the "Unlimited" Foods. I am an All or Nothing *LITERAL* person and if you tell me I can have as much as I want, I believe you. Knowing that nothing is truly unlimited... my stubborn little 3-year comes out and challenges the statement... and all reasonable thought disappears... just to prove that the statement is wrong - and ultimately hurting myself in the end. (I hope that makes sense...)

Think of clothing and seeing the "One Size Fits All" size (ha ha ha!) -- that was crap for the same reasons.  Now many if not all manufacturers have changed it to "One Size Fits Most" which is so much better (IMNSHO). To me that was such a D'uh!!

There IS a reasonable LIMIT to the amount of unlimited foods we can eat -- but, in my warped mind, if someone says UNLIMITED... then I believe what the dictionary says:
  1. not limited; unrestricted; unconfined: unlimited trade.
  2. boundless; infinite; vast: the unlimited skies.
  3. without any qualification or exception; unconditional.
Which, I understand in my intelligent mind that there are reasonable limits... but I'm telling you the quite immature emotional side of me couldn't listen... with MF she's learning to listen and be okay with the limits.

ALL THAT to say: the non-thinking about all meals but one keeps me intrigued with just enough freedom and creativity for that one Lean & Green meal to keep me from getting bored... bored with the food and bored with the program.  During this year I can create a month or two of meals for each time of day (Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner), which will become what I see as our "Menu For Life."

And I only have to think about One. Meal. At. A. Time - once a day.  For 12 months and a bit. And if I need to eat shrimp salads two nights in a row, I'm so wonderfully okay with that. We are not foodies, we don't have to have extravagant and/or complicated dishes with all sorts of exotic tastes and ingredients. I'm creating a habit - slowly. (See the website for more on creating habits that will stick, 6 at a time)

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Day 16 - It is Official... I'm down 22 lbs!

Can we say HAPPY DANCE?!? I mean... H A P P Y  D A N C E ! ! ! 

I went to the MF Clinic in Chandler today for my first in-person appointment after starting... and I've been witnessing my home scale going down -- but didn't want to share any numbers until I'd had THIS appointment today and now feel like I can share my starting weight and my loss.

Yes... I KNOW these results won't continue... ha -- and I'm pretty sure I must've been PMS'ing and retaining a ton of water, and -- 11 lbs a week would be tremendous, but so completely, ridiculously impossible... and I KNOW this, but I can't help but WANT... ah well -- as it is known, it didn't come on in 3 months, it certainly isn't going to be coming off that soon.  And I want to be able to learn the lessons along the way that will ultimately prevent me from walking down this particular road again.

Okay: On January 3rd, 2011 ~ I weighed in at the clinic at 338.2 lbs (ack!)
Today: January 19th, 2011 ~ I weighed in at the clinic at 316.2 lbs (Woot!)

My home scale: I started at 330 lbs and this morning weighed in at 312.8.

The scale at the chorus that I stepped on for the first time last night read 322.

The gals in the clinic (hello everyone :-) were so excited for me, and besides the fact that I'm of course Over The Moon about this result... I am excited to continue and finish this journey to the end.

I've cried twice today over the total awesome-ness that I'm feeling... that this is actually happening... that this will SUCCEED, and I'm not over-thinking it, or discouraged before I begin, or feeling completely overwhelmed.

I received a copy of my initial measurements, which I'll get on a page -- but I need to head to bed now. I'll update the weekend events in San Bernadino - it was one of the best, if not THE best Sweet Adeline educational event weekend I've had! I have pictures, too :-)

But for now, I'm off to dream land and will be dreaming of smaller pants!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Day 14 - 16: First Real Challenge!

A weekend away! Leaving tomorrow early, back late Sunday night!

I'll be back with stories, I'm sure! Wish me luck!

Day 10 - Hungry Day!!!

I woke up hungry, I went to bed hungry. I might have had a few bites of extra protein by way of the shrimp bag that is in the fridge (maximum 6 over the day).  I tried being creative and made the Soup Chips from the cream of Broccoli soup I ordered, eating with a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese, and took an oz of protein off my dinner for the cheese. I had a pickle for snack, and had two pieces of sugarless gum... I don't think I had a glass of water going all the time, and I drank diet Orange Soda as a 'treat' while fixing dinner so I wouldn't nibble on the food being cooked (!)

My reward came this morning with a 1lb loss on the scale. (Hallelujah!)  Today's weighing shows a loss of 14 lbs.  I know this isn't going to be the way it will be after these first couple of weeks, but it sure helps right now!  I spent time last night downloading a lot of different guides from the MyMedifast forums regarding creative ways to cook the food, and saw cakes from the puddings and shakes.  At this point I want more fat than sugar, I think... and I have a huge sweet tooth!

I'm going to post the photos of the Soup Chips and the Zucchini Beef Skillet dinner from last night, which hubby had seconds of and LOVED! (I was really quite pleased because the veggies weren't mushy, they weren't crispy -- but in the past he hasn't preferred the bright green (or other color) stage, he likes them more cooked -- so again, I was thrilled this was a meal he'd eat again!!

The Soup Chips took about 6 minutes in my microwave... will try the oven next time!

Zucchini, about 1/4 can of diced tomatoes, and a small handful of chopped spinach... with cut up lean thin steak.  5 oz is quite a bit of beef! I took out an ounce for the laughing cheese wedge I had as a snack in the afternoon.  Will catch up the food log later today. Gotta hit the shower and head to work!

Feeling Good!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Day 9 - Falling Behind in Other "Life"

I need to update my resume to really look for another job... I have a lead and a couple ideas, and need to follow through... and I'm falling WAY behind on my chorus responsibilities.

The job thing is a much higher priority... the chorus stuff makes me feel bad.  My health and diet taking up so much of my time and energy is where I want my focus to be, so I need to let go of more. I'll pick up the phone this afternoon.

Yesterday was a good day as far as eating and hunger and energy! I was sniffly all day, beginning the night before last -- all day yesterday and last night as well -- taking extra Vitamin C and eating the Garlic (!) and sleeping more, and taking mucus relief medicine. I don't feel sick, just snotty!

I started working on some of the piles of paper in my room, and made some progress -- more to be done today!

 Here's a photo of the delicious Cauliflower "Mac 'n Cheese" I made last night... I left the recipe for hubs and he made some too -- Thanks again Lyn at Escape from Obesity... her stuff so far has been awesome!

I'm crying at odd times about Dorwin and the senselessness of the shooting last Saturday -- it still doesn't feel real.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Day 7 -- Making Plans

Day 7 ... tomorrow will make a full week of Medifast. I'm so thankful that it tastes better-than reasonable, and I can see myself continuing on until goal is reached! The Lean & Green options give a lot of variety, and I'm so thankful for those bloggers and forum users who have shared their tips and tricks with how to change things up a bit for variety.

This upcoming weekend will be a challenge as I'm going to a weekend educational with my quartet in California. We can get a fridge in the room for $10 extra a day, need to check on a microwave, as that will make a huge difference as to what I bring for the weekend to eat.

I only have 4 Crunch bars left, which are the most convenient thing -- and I have a number of hot things that I can fix, but they do better after soaking and then re-heating again... so at first thought, a nuker is pretty necessary... the most easy thing would be to have all cold food with a lean & green eating out... having ice accessible makes the shakes much easier to do, and one of my friends coming has a 'bullet generic' that she's going to bring along. That being said, I don't relish the idea of not having any hot food options (my oatmeal is one of my favorite things in the morning, and soup for lunch is wonderful!) I suppose I could re-heat those things in my hot pot --  I'll try that method this week and "ops test it" to see how that goes taste-wise.

Yesterday's eating went well. My hunger was pretty slight overall... nothing that put me into a frenzy! I was slightly hungry after the lean and green, had the cappuccino as a cold shake for dessert, which was much preferable over the hot sludge I'd made that morning a couple days ago...
I had the rest of my Mahi Mahi (YUM!) with spinach & romaine and 1/4 cup of chopped broccoli, as I put in a 1/4 cup of chopped (canned) tomatoes in the chili that I had for lunch -- which totally razzed it up and made it more filling! Woot!!

I peeked on the scale again this morning (it has been 7 days, after all...) and the number was VERY nice!!! And my Medifast Phone Call is scheduled for today at 1pm... I have questions:
Can I pack the measuring devices (serving size) with veggies (spinach, romaine, for example)
Marscapone cheese?
I'm going to run out of food before I go up and meet with them in person (poor planning on my part); any suggestions?

I had more, but can't think of them now... obviously I'll need to write them down.  I'll log my food for yesterday later (I did use a tracking sheet that I found which was helpful to remember what little things I'd done (1/4 cup tomatoes, 1 TB peanut butter, 2 optional condiments of sugar free syrups, etc... as well as how much water -- I know I drink plenty, but can't remember the actual numbers...).

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Day 6 - My Medifast Kitchen Set Up

First, Let me post yesterday's Delicious Dinner!!
Mahi Mahi, Zucchini Alfredo (Zuke Noodles) & Spinach salad with 3 very small broccoli heads, and the inside of the zucchini that was not used for making the 'noodles,' and 1 tsp of dressing.  This was a VERY filling, fabulous meal. I used a marinade that I tweaked slightly for MF portion control, but it had olive oil, soy sauce, minced garlic, pepper, and I put in a couple shakes of Tobasco. I marinaded for about 3 or 4 hours, and I have another 7 oz of fish left from the package I bought!
* * *

I am still in shock over the events of yesterday, and what the news is calling the "Congresswoman Giffords Event" -- Event? You mean the 'Shooting of Congresswoman Giffords in the head and the senseless death of 6 other people, including one person from my church family, and 12 other victims shot?!! An Event?!

What a horrifying, terrible, awful day. 
* * *

I wasn't hungry at all from 11am to 3pm yesterday - which is too long to go without eating on MF ~ I ended up eating a Mint Chocolate bar right before going to sleep last night, and of course woke up ravenous. I want to keep to a pretty even eating schedule, so am drinking water and tea for an hour or two before having breakfast.

I've been discovering some pretty decent looking low-carb recipes online, and have put together my own cupboard for Medifast Preparation... a little section of the kitchen to call my own....

On the section of the wall to the left, will be hung a magnetic erase board, so I can put up my tracking for the day (because I do forget how many condiments vs optional snacks vs. healthy fats I use up in a day; and these things are important to keep in balance...).  I'll post the weight loss chart I've made up as well, so after a couple months the downward lines will hopefully help keep me motivated. 

On the inside of the cupboard I've taped up larger print outs of the MF Plan allowances - Green Options, Lean Options, Non-Meat Options, Optional Snacks, and a little booklet of Condiment Portion Size Recommendations will probably be on the magnet board when it goes up.  I'm also putting the 'Suggested Cooking Chart' for the George Foreman Grill in a permanent spot, for it is extremely useful to have handy.

The scale to weigh on is on the floor in this area as well, so I have this whole little area all set up.  Himself has rearranged some cupboards to be "his" -- which I won't even look in! There's a shelf in the fridge designated as mine, and keeping it to one shelf will keep me from buying too much in advance (which then means food goes to waste).
* * *

I'm torn about today -- I feel like I need to go to church and be part of the Song Service and grieve with others over the terrible loss of Dorwin Stoddard, but a part of me really doesn't want to.  I then have quartet rehearsal this afternoon, and need to plan for my eating for that, since it usually lasts all afternoon to the early evening. And I've not done anything to plan for a productive quartet rehearsal.

Maybe hopping in the shower and at least getting READY for church will move me forward in the right direction.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Unite vs Divide

There are things that unite. There are things that divide.

Killing people is not one of those things that unites.

Please Pray for ALL the families of the shooting that happened in SE Arizona today. One church brother was killed while trying to protect his wife, who has gunshot wounds in her leg and is the hospital now. The man killed  was in fragile health and was a walking miracle as it was, and both of them have been stalwart, loving and loyal members of God's Church.  God Help Us All.

A Congresswoman shot in my hometown. It still isn't real. Please send loving thoughts, or prayers, or whatever your belief system is... common goodness and love is what will unite us.

Day 5 - Peeking at the Scale

I stepped on the scale this morning... I shouldn't get in this habit of checking daily, [1] because it is misleading, and [2] because my scale is about 10lbs different (less) than the MF Clinic scale. HOWEVER -- ! After yesterday's torment of food mishaps, and "giving in" to an extra shake... I had to see...

and it showed a noticeable down-ward trend. This feeling of relief and joy and WOW helps keep that forward momentum during this first week when my body is trying to figure out where all the food has gone...

A picture is worth a thousand words!!

I've now created a Weight Loss Chart with DATES on which to weigh myself. No more peeking!!

I've designated Wednesday as my personal weekly day to weigh -- the MF weigh-in dates will vary according to schedule, but will be some day every other week.  I have a phone call consultation on Monday the 10th, and I'll weigh here at home on Wednesday the 12th. I go up to the MF Clinic on Wednesday the 19th.

Tuesday the 11th will be one full week on plan. Very Exciting Times!!
* * *

Yesterday's Feelings were all over the place -- a friend asked if I was getting enough nutrients because I seemed to be not hearing her, and she was having to repeat everything... I think I was totally lost in my own thoughts about nothing that had anything to do with anything.

I was extremely annoyed at being so hungry all darn day... and on the food log I am completely honest with how I doctored the shake a little bit at 10:21pm when I fixed it...

At my friend's house, once I sat down to prep for the class (actually punching paper with a paper punch...), I calmed down and relaxed.  I hadn't realized I had been so uptight and tense... I felt a bit hyper, and the energy I have is amazing; though it feels more like mental energy right now, the physical energy is about the same.

By the time I headed home, I wasn't hungry so much, but still had to eat my L&G... after eating my beautiful Shrimp Salad, I was again - EXTREMELY HUNGRY... which just amped up my annoyance level. I bought some string cheese as an optional snack (light), and kept thinking of that in the fridge -- but resisted and was quite happy with the shake, by the time all was said and done.

Today I'll be busy with craft class (which I need to get moving on), and have to remember to pick up a project for work for Monday. I'm going to be looking for creative and tasty MF-safe ways to fix lean ground turkey, which I bought yesterday at Trader Joe's, and also for some Mahi Mahi I picked up. Escape from Obesity has some awesome looking recipes that appeal using zucchini and ground beef, and she's been able to be super creative with the non-meat options as choices too. After taste-testing, I'll share.
* * *
Oh Yes!! My chorus has set a challenge to Get Fit for our Regional Competition in Pasadena (April 8 - 10) by which we're 'walking to Pasadena and back' 3X, and if each member of the chorus loses 6lbs, we'll have lost 350 lbs by then.  6 lbs in 3 months seems do-able, yes? I forget the number of steps/miles to walk per week (less than 5, I think) -- I won't be able to join in that part for about 3 or 4 weeks (based on yesterday's experience of walking the dog in the morning and being so freakin' hungry all day....), but....

I'm SO excited that I'm going to throw off the Weight Loss Curve!!!!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Day 4 - Why Will It Be Different This Time?

Will I be changed forever by the changes I make this year? That is my desire.

I need to be conscious every step of the way.  Making conscious choices of where I'm going and what I'm doing, and not letting emotions carry me off the healthy eating and lifestyle path.

Emotions to beware of: Guilt (feelings of 'should'); Pessimism ('Whatever; it doesn't make any difference' kinds of thoughts); Unique or Special ('just for this once, or this little while' -- an extremely dangerous thought for me to have -- overindulgence in spending has already happened... cannot let that transfer over to food).

I'm sure there are more, but that is what is on my mind as I start today: How Will This Time Be Different (so that I become an exception to a rule, rather than a statistic in keeping weight off once it is lost).
* * *
2:21 pm

Hmmmmmm... the food isn't tasting as 'tasty' today... the Cappuccino I had last night was fine. This morning I mixed it with coffee and water and didn't do very well mixing it up -- there was much sludge at the bottom of the mug -- and that was my breakfast :-(

The PB Crunch bar was fine -- I was pretty hungry so I scarfed it in 10 minutes (I usually make it last an hour)... and I just had Chili -- which I soaked in hot water last night -- heated it again this morning for more absorption to take place, and it was spicy soy curds.  I added extra water to bulk it up, and I did that last time, but not until I'd put the called-for amount of water in and soaked/cooked it... and I ate it within a few minutes, maybe letting it sit around too long made it rubbery.

I'm hungry today.  Day 4 and I'm supposed to be over this part of it, right?! A friend asked if I was hungry... and I hadn't been really, until today (!)

I think to change that "Are You Hungry?" question around to, "Are You Stuffed?" might be an interesting and productive exercise... because I DO have a lot more energy... and I know that is because I'm not over-eating. I'm still motivated, and I'm being a grown up.  I know hunger passes after 15 minutes, and if it is truly hunger, it'll come back quite quickly.  Fake hunger generally doesn't come back within a few minutes.

In other words, I'm on the hungry side, but I FEEL GREAT!
* * *
My oatmeal blew up in someone else's microwave... I'm tellin' ya the stars are stacked against me today!  I just had my lean and green huge 7 oz of shrimp salad and I'm still very hungry!!

I walked the dog this morning... it can't be that big a difference in my hunger if I walk around the block...?!?!
I ate a pickle as an optional snack, and am tempted to have a shake before going to bed... Medifast says if you're really hungry then don't go off plan, have another shake... so I'm going to do that!  I bought some ground turkey and some mahi mahi so I'm going to go look at the recipes on the MF website boards and see what I can see.

My scale was down 5 lbs this morning... so THAT is a good thing!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Day 3 - Part II

So much goes through my brain during the day to write here... and then I sit down, faced with the blank screen and go... "eh? what brilliant thing was I thinking?"  I know other bloggers face the same thing... probably the best way to remember would be to record it into the digital voice recorder, because writing it down would take too long and often I'm in the car.  But this isn't what I'm here to tell you.
* * *
Last night I was driving home and thinking about how Someday is Today. "One Day" was Tuesday...!!

Really and Truly... the "Some Days" have turned into Present Day.

I started to cry with a quiet joy when I realized that IT. IS. NOW. Right now. I'm doing what I've been talking about doing for years... it is a commitment (thanks to my step-father and mom's financial support, and my husband's emotional support and financial help) that I have to keep.  I hope this year I'm able to really learn, to really absorb, to truly understand in my core being and soul, that promises made to myself are as important as any promises I make to others.

The train of thought that brought me to tears...
The thought of new pants because my old ones are falling down around me. I can't imagine the day, but in my heart I know that day is not that far away.

and then the tears started to fall.  The feelings are all over the place!
  • Overwhelmed.
  • Joy. 
  • Anticipation. 
  • Submission.
  • Love.
  • Anxiety (just a tinge of fear of the unknown, but fearful isn't really correct).
  • *Eager.
  • Acceptance.

Time Out for a  Pet Peeve: Eager vs. Anxious. 
  • Eager: keen or ardent in desire or feeling; impatiently longing; characterized by or feeling expectancy or great desire
  • Anxious: full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous
These are the FIRST definitions... Anxious has come to mean Eager, which is my Pet Peeve. 
Thank You for letting me get that off my chest
End of Pet Peeve

I still have to write about Monday -- and I will. In the meantime, I've started a Food Log page, which is where I'll write down what I'm eating, and update it accordingly. I know keeping track and looking back over it can be eye-opening.

Day 3 - "Get Your Bones Out"

Recently a good friend and I made a bet that my clavicle bones will probably never appear... she says sure they will, I say they won't.  Even in Jr. High school (yes, when I was going from 6th grade to 7th grade in the Bay Area of California, they called it Junior High School - which I prefer over calling 7th - 9th grade "Middle School" -- Middle School just sounds blah and boring...), when I was still growing and I wasn't overweight I was considered a 'big girl' -- I don't remember my collar bones ever being prominent in any way.

I've always had the "Roundy Shoulders" as an Italian tailor once told me, and the thought that I could be bony at some point in my future is beyond my imagination.
* * *

Yesterday --
Maple & Brown Sugar Oatmeal (MF)
This is the best! Seriously could eat this a lot!!

piece of sugarless gum (up to 3 pieces a day are an optional snack)

PB Crunch Bar again for mid-morning snack

MF Chili for lunch...
I soaked it in cold water in the fridge the night before like I did for the Veg Beef Stew... but it didn't seem to do any good -- I gave it a good stir, then heated it for 2 1/2 minutes... still very very crunchy.  Back of my mind I seemed to remember that one of the 'tips and tricks' I'd read was that it needed hot water soaking before it became edible -- so I started boiling water, nuked it again for 3 minutes and let it sit for a couple of hours. In the meantime, I had a pickle as an optional snack.  I'm allowed 2 pickle spears. I got busy on the computer and email, and after awhile went and checked the Chili -- I started heating it up around 1:30pm, and I think I ate it around 3:45pm.  I think more soaking would make it better -- but even still it was quite tasty... I'm a wuss when it comes to spicy, and this has got the appearance of spicy in the taste, but not an actual spice... that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it was perfect for me!
Will definitely be keeping this in my choices -- and no burping!!

Went to a friends to take the two boxes of food that I'm going to take to my mom next time I go to MF Clinic, getting them out of the house for two weeks so I'm not tempted, and took the Chocolate Mint Bar -- ate half on the way to her house, had an herbal tea while visiting with her, and then ate the other half on my way home.

I fixed the exact same Lean & Green meal that I had the night before when I got home - (1 cup of raw Spinach, 1 cup of Romaine lettuce, 1/2 cup chopped broccoli, 7 oz shrimp, 2 tblspns dressing, ground pepper & Mrs. Dash) but it was now around 7pm when I started preparing it, and I took some pictures because I wanted to share just how much shrimp I get to have! 7 oz of shellfish is allowed, with 2 tblspns of healthy fat, and I had purchased a 16 oz bag o' frozen shrimp; so I eyeballed the night before a little less than half the bag.  Turns out 7 oz is about 35-36 medium sized shrimp (tails off)


So I had the exact same dinner two nights in a row, which is fine right now -- will be thinking more about choices and options soon, I'm sure!

After watching some tv, I then had the Vanilla Pudding - which I'd read that if you put it in the freezer for 20-30 minutes it is similar to a soft ice cream -- pudding pop kind of consistency.  It was tasty, but I'll bet the chocolate is better. I am a vanilla fan, and you can always "add" to vanilla -- so maybe I'll try that later.

I'm feeling good -- woke up this morning on Day 3 with a slight headache, drank a glass of water, have had some green tea, and will be having the Maple & Brown Sugar Oatmeal again -- it rocked!  I'll maybe try making the blueberry muffins with the oatmeal this weekend... I'm soaking the Veg Beef Soup, and think I'll do eggs to finish out my salad tonight (same basics with 2 boiled eggs as my protein, and the sliver of turkey that is in the fridge).

I've been hungry -- but not overwhelmingly so -- and I'm keeping very busy, which helps a lot. I know hunger passes after about 15 minutes and while it comes around again, often it is just a matter of consciously saying to myself -- "not now" -- and "let's finish this" job/activity of whatever I'm doing.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Day 2 - To Be Continued...

Scale this morning was down 2lbs.

Not ridiculously hungry... planned my day/evening well and had the shake when I came home after chorus (I'm used to eating when I get home, so a 100 calorie shake is nothin' compared to previous huge bowls of pasta or grits full of butter and sometimes cheese...a bad habit!) Was quite satisfied with the Dutch Chocolate Shake, though it tasted like a Diet Program Shake. (remember Cambridge Diet...? I did that a long time ago... sheesh, forgot all about that one!)

Went to bed too late, which made getting up this morning terrible. Resolve to "be a grown up" next week!

Will post much more this afternoon!
* * *
Thursday, January 6

Well -- yesterday got away from me... obviously! Today is Day Three ~ so it requires a new post.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Day 1 - Medifast

24 oz of water drunk before leaving the house...
Took the Medifast Vitamins

Breakfast (8:40am):
Blueberry Oatmeal
Method for Tastiness: put in coffee mug, pour a little extra water in... stir VERY well (I have a mini whisk that seems to do brilliantly). Heat 1:30 in microwave. Taste. UGH. (cardboard-chalk flavored with a hint of whatever it is that makes one go 'bleh bleh bleh' while ones tongue is trying to remove the offender...) Heat another 30 seconds. Take Shower, Get dressed, Dry hair (in other words, let sit for 20 minutes). Come back to oatmeal.... much thicker, much tastier, if a bit on the less-than-warm side... heat for another 30 seconds... drink on the way to work. YUM!! Quite satisfying, and looks like a lot in the regular sized coffee mug!  It takes me 10- 15 minutes to drive to work, and I was just finishing it as I pulled up to park.
Verdict on Blueberry Oatmeal: Will definitely have this as a regular choice.

Coffee in travel mug with 1/2 cup hot water (won't be putting milk or dairy in for awhile, and I can't stand strong coffee) and what seemed like 12 grains of Splenda.  Hit the spot all morning long.

1 piece sugarless gum (up to 3 pieces allowed per day as an optional snack)

Mid Morning Snack (10:30am): 
Peanut Butter Crunch bar
Tasty -- First Bite was delicious! Strong peanut butter flavor (a very good thing). Very small size... took my time and finished the last very small bite at noon (just before leaving work). Slight cardboard immediate aftertaste -- strong (for me) fake sweet taste all the way home...
  • note: I don't like fake sweet... which is weird since I drink Diet Coke and have for so long I barely taste the fakeness of it anymore... and The Real Thing is too sweet for me. I have a strong sweet tooth, but my body isn't fooled by fake sweet ~ too much of it and it turns me off.
Verdict on PB Crunch Bar -- will order again

Vegetable Beef Soup
I had read that soaking the soups is essential! So last night I poured the packet into a bowl, poured 1 cup of water in it and  set it in the fridge where it soaked until 12:30pm.  VERY pleased to see how much it had plumped up in this time frame.  I whisked it up really well with my mini-whisk then followed the heating directions on the box -- heat 2:30, stir; heat another minute, place plate or lid on for 3 minutes and let it sit, letting the steam finish it off. Tasted Good. Added 3 twists of pepper (I like pepper), one sprinkle of Mrs. Dash, and one sprinkle of Creole Seasoning (0g sugars) for just the slightest kick. EXCELLENT!
Ate the whole thing and was very pleased.
Starting burping (as in not good burping) within 10 minutes of eating. Slight Heartburn

In my initial interview yesterday they asked about food allergies and I said I react to some kind of preservative in processed foods... rashes mostly (serious rashes after mindlessly eating Ritz crackers, Pretzels, Safeway cookies, Triscuts, grocery store bakery items...) after over-eating. I know one food allergy reaction is burping -- will have to see how it goes.

Another 16 oz water done with lunch. Feeling hungry right now... need to go to Sunflower for my greens of the 'lean and green' then clean out the cupboard that will house the Medifast meals etc...

Chorus Tonight -- would like to wait on the snack, but thinking having some of my portion of my dinner now would be a good thing, or one of my optional snacks (the pickles are appealing to me right now...)
* * *
Will report on yesterday a little later -- my "1-hour" consultation turned into 2.5 hours... everyone was super nice! But there was a wee bit of surprise at the cost and commitment... it is fine, but sticker shock can be overwhelming, as can knowing this is a two year ride we're on.  But I'm READY!

Consultation Visit @ Medifast (1/3/2011)

I'm overwhelmed.

Have to sleep now, will tell all tomorrow or Wednesday.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Day 1 of 2011

Yesterday I was trying to be all reflective and inspiring, and wasn't really feelin' it...I love that writing takes introspection and thought, and that sometimes it is difficult.  Writing a Book is on my Bucket List.
* * *

My Internet Registration Email account was hacked. (That is the email address that I use for all online registrations... and currently has over 25,000+ unread emails)  That is a job that was not on my "to do" list today... to delete all the addresses from that email address book and report that email to yahoo's spam watchers.
* * *

Himself and I (mostly I) stayed up until just about 12:30am or so last night... he fell asleep watching Law & Order | UK. With him snoring away, I perused one of the movies I've been wanting to see for some time ~  Audrey Hepburn & Fred Astaire in "Funny Face" -- Lorelei Gilmore's favorite movie (Lorelei of "The Gilmore Girls" which is one of my favorite TV series of all time... himself bought the entire series for me!!) -- but I digress... the quality of the movie was iffy -- it was a really just pieced together and random, feeling forced.  Enjoyable and pretty, but definitely a vehicle for song and dance.  I love all musicals, so this isn't really meant to be critical, and Audrey did a nice job on the singing... but it isn't one that I'll watch again. I just read that it was nominated for a bunch of awards... interesting how much movies have changed over the last 60 years.
* * *

I'm jotting down things I want to accomplish today (just today's list, not a list for the year, I'll do that tomorrow) -- and a variety of thoughts regarding really keeping to a schedule on a daily basis for the year.  Up until now, I have lacked routine and good habits, and my inner 3-year old has won too too many inner debates in the past on what I should be doing.(Dishes or TV; Exercise or Surf Internet; File papers or Eat; etc.)

I'm not going to focus on all the thoughts I'm having today about all the changes I want to make... one change at a time requires all my focus, all my will, all my energy, all my passion. This in and of itself is a huge change for me, when I'm 'up' I want to make all the changes all at once, and create lists and plans that are completely unrealistic!! This year I'm committing to Leo's '' strategy = One Habit to be focused on for two months.  I will resist the temptation to overwhelm myself, which leads to self-sabotage!!

I know the weight loss journey is going to be one of the most difficult things I'm going to do in my life... and it will never have "an end", which (today) I am okay with. To actually change is (I believe) the most difficult thing to do in this life. To capture our thoughts and hold them captive (a Biblical theme) is a huge challenge, but we are capable of it.  It comes down to choice. Being conscious. Being aware at all times and stopping all the noise and distractions the second we are aware it is happening.
* * *

I'm enjoying normal food, and I'm not having feelings of dread or sadness... I'm still very excited to begin Medifast on Tuesday, January 4th!
* * *

There are so many good blogs out there, full of inspiration and motivation - creativity and passion, honesty and self-revelations that are revealed to all the internet. I'm inspired by many, and hope I can join the ranks of 'honest and inspiring' bloggers.  To be part of the "100 lbs Lost" club, and the "Onederland" club... the thoughts of being able to be a part of that "Look! I DID IT!!" group makes me smile!

Ring out the Old ~ Ring in the New

What I  started writing Yesterday (January 31, 2010)
We are at the end of the first decade of the 21st Century.  It doesn't seem that long ago that we were going to "party like it's 1999" -- worrying about Y2K -- and looking ahead into a future full of visions of science fiction movies of what the future would be like... and how cool it was we were actually living in the time... the future!

I had a really nice morning catching up with a friend at one of my favorite breakfast 'joints' -- it used to be the Dept of Motor Vehicle building (and is where I went for my license when I was 16) -- now it is a really popular breakfast and lunch restaurant.  We caught up for awhile, and I had a really nice revelation regarding my relationship with my mom, and how that has affected most of my relationships all my life.

More About That Later.