Saturday, March 19, 2011

Day 75 ~ Second Morning of Walking DVD

My first morning was Thursday -- St. Patrick's day... I'd eaten too much salt the night before and the scale showed a 4 lb increase (!) I thought, "I bet I could sweat some of the extra water retention off if I did some exercise...." and Voila ~ exercising has started!

Last Thursday I put in (for the first time) a  Leslie Sansome Walking DVD -- it is up to 5 miles, but divided so you can do just a mile at a time, if you want. Each "mile" is 12 minutes, which is less than my "You Can Do Anything For 15 Minutes" FlyLady rule!  In other words, it feels totally manageable and not overwhelming!

I felt great after 1 mile, so did the 2nd mile :-)  [and yes, 2 lbs came off after 30 minutes of the DVD!] She 'Bumps Up' the walking with light jogging in place, if you want -- I did a very very little -- probably would be better described as "Gentle Bouncing."  There's some side steps, and some step-touches, and walk up and back four steps... she adds arms about 4 or 5 minutes into it - so, no, it isn't just plain old walking.  But the music has a good beat, and I can go back to just walking in place at any time, which I did this morning.

This morning I was proud of myself that I put the DVD in again at 6:30 am (it took me awhile to get out of bed after the alarms started going off -- I think I got out of bed at 5:40am or something close to that -- went to bed sometime between 11:20 and 11:45 pm).  I only did a mile this morning - my shoulders are both really sore - not sure if was the movement from Thursday or what, but the arms weren't moving all that fast this morning.  My legs also felt a bit heavy for the leg lifts... and a mile with a little stretching afterward was enough for me this morning. After this post I'll be walking the dog for his 20 minutes around the block.
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I got out the ice shaving machine in order to have shaved ice for the MF Soft Serve meal... I picked up a single packet of the peanut butter flavor - I think I have the chocolate right now -- in the summer I usually live on melted cheese on tortilla chips and ice cream -- once in awhile a salad would be thrown in -- nice big Taco Salad (YUM!) or a even yummier - a Frito Salad -- Yum YUM... so I'm gearing up for "Ice Cream" by testing the ice shaving machine and hoping it works after a few years of  non-use wrapped in a plastic bag in the laundry room :-)
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Very Excited that Lyn from Escape from Obesity has posted some of her Tofu Recipes -- can't wait to try them!
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I've been somewhat productive this morning: taking out the kitchen garbage; loading the dishwasher and washing most of the dishes, cleaning up the appliances himself used to make dinner last night (GF Grill & Steamer); folded the little pile of laundry that was mine and put it away; and now blogging.

But I'm still frustrated with the mess that is my room.  I don't want to move into my new room with my old mess... I have visions of neatness -- labels -- everything has a place to go 'home' to when it is time to be put away.

The whole full-time job is also nagging me -- my car has a $600 repair coming up; and my teeth are going to cost $800 after insurance.  Counselor was advising to hold off on the second job because I'm doing so well sticking with new habits and routines... not perfect, but doing really well in a steady holding pattern at least.  But I really am feeling awful about not contributing more financially to the household - and end up taking those feelings out on himself because he is working a lot of hours during this time of year; and yet I still resent him for not "Helping Around the House" yet he is the one holding the house together money-wise.

So while I'm making huge strides in healthy eating and cooking real food; and have lost almost 50 lbs; I'm also struggling with huge guilt that I'm not doing enough.  *sigh* So Tired of this mind game.. I know that is what it is - it isn't about anything my feelings of lack -- all the time.

I Am Enough.  I'm doing the best I can Right. Now. My best will change as I get stronger. But This IS my Best Right Now.
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I let slide my tracking of time - and took a few minutes just now to log this morning's activities... keeping track of where I'm spending time is key to keeping up with the priorities.
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Well -- exercising keeps a lot of the crap out of my head. So I'm grateful and proud that I did that this morning!
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Himself's Gallbladder Status: He went for his stress test yesterday morning and his lung capacity gave out before his heart -- so we know that is good... the smoking is what got in his way there.  His blood tests have all come back okay -- his cholesterol is 200, which the doc said was good - but his "Good Cholesterol" should be higher -so he's to take Vitamin D & Red Yeast Rice... which I'd not heard before and have been starting to research.

He goes in Monday for another ultrasound scan on the little hernia he has around his stomach/belly button area; and then Thursday for a HIDA scan so the surgeon can see the Gallbladder more clearly. After that I guess he will meet with the surgeon.

I'm still feeding him beet salad, now with a little vinegar which he finds more palatable... he fixed his own dinner last night of chicken and rice with NO VEG for which I scolded him... "I couldn't find any" was his excuse -- such a large child! He just couldn't be bothered.  argh.  He's still only drinking hot water with lemon and now has a little honey with it.  He's a little achey, but fingers crossed he's not had another attack.

His taste palate needs to change toward healthier foods -- so I'm glad it is taking as long as it is to actually get to the operating table.
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