Thursday, November 11, 2010

I Want...

To sit in a chair and not be afraid it will break.
To have a normal sized towel that will wrap around most of me.
To sit in a stadium seat without having to shuggle & wriggle just to sit sideways without my back touching... and then have bruises for days.
To be able to walk up a flight of stairs and still be able to have a conversation.
To be able to sit on the floor and rise up again without it being a big, long, embarrassing process.
More energy.
To walk every day.
To be able to run 40 - 45 minutes a day.
To be able to use the normal seat belt in an airline seat.
The tray table to be able to come all the way down and not touch any part of me.
To look forward to physical exertion.
To eat without guilt (because I'm eating healthy, and exercising regularly).
To always eat like I'm going to sing and perform... because then I never overeat.
To shop for clothing in *any* store *I* want.
To look at pictures of myself without shame, or sadness... but rather with some pride with what I've accomplished.
To be honest with myself during this process.
To be thankful for everything I've gone through; and everything I have yet to go through.
To know in my soul that the number on the scale does not define me.
To view self-discipline as freeing, not as constraining.
To discover the anger... face it... and then forgive and release.
This to be it. The last and final time.

To Lose 151 pounds -- and never find it again.

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