Why Just a Word for 2023... how about an entire thought?!

 “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” — Aristotle

Whole Food, Plant Based no Sugar, Oil, Low-Salt Lifestyle

While singing is still my reason for being, quickly catching up to something else I'm passionate about is eating healthier. Specifically Whole Food Plant Based healthier eating combined with Intermittent Fasting. Not a temporary "diet" that I'm "on" for awhile, then find myself going back to eating "normal" which is, appropriately named, SAD (the Standard American Diet). This is my lifestyle.

The word diet from the Greek is "diaita = "a way of life" - and from Wikipedia "According to Foxcroft, the word diet comes from the Greek diaita, which represents a notion of a whole way healthy lifestyle including both mental and physical health, rather than a narrow weight-loss regimen."

I like that best - "... a notion of a WHOLE way healthy LIFESTYLE including BOTH mental and physical health..."

I've been traveling the veggie-head path toward what is (almost) essentially Vegan for a long time... For the past 10-ish years I have described my eating as about 80% Whole Food Plant Based (WFPB), and 20% of the time I have the processed foods, dairy and occasionally a burger and fries. Historically, the social aspect (read: fun) of eating out and trying to stay compliant took the fun out of eating out. And I don't think I've ever described how much I enjoy eating out. It's a thing. 

But I digress.

This year I've decided that 2023 will be 93% WFPB mostly SO free with low S - which is essentially the title of this post. SOS is Sugar, Oil and Salt. I've been watching and reading Chef AJ, Anne Crile Esselstyn & Jane Esselstyn, Rip Esselstyn, Jill & Jeff over at The Whole Food Plant Based Cooking Show and Forks Over Knives videos... Dr. John McDougall with the occasional dip to the absolutely delicious (but not oil-free) recipes by Nisha at Rainbow Plant Life whose book "The Vegan Instantpot Cookbook" has amazing and delicious (!) stuff! 

Some back story:
In 2011 I lost 100 lbs on Medifast (now called Optivia - Opt-ah-VEE-ah). I knew I'd be 'transitioning back' to eating real food and started researching healthier eating. I knew that Atkins-style of eating wasn't for me... I'd tried it in Scotland for a couple weeks - and for a few days it was awesome, but I like fruit and vegetables too much, and have never been a huge meat-eater. I'd also thought, since my early 20's, that vegetarianism would be a good fit for me. (I thought Vegan was a bit too extreme, but also, I liked the idea of not eating 'food that had a mother.')

So in my research for what I wanted to eat, I watched "Forks Over Knives," "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead," "Plant-Pure Nation," "What the Health," "Hungry for Change," and "Vegucated."

The first book I purchased was Dr. Joel Furhman's audio book of "Eat to Live" after I watched Vegucated.

This film had a huge impact on me because it followed three very very normal "off the street" folks who agreed to 'be vegan' for 6 weeks. It shows their struggles... not just with what food is available to eat, but how socially difficult it is to stick to your commitment. This film showed 'unsanctioned' filming of inside of a chicken house, and how our CAFO (Concentrated Animal Feeding Operation) style of food production, which breaks my heart and is (imho) cruel and inhumane among other I-don't-want-to-go-there-now things; isn't the PR image of what the big businesses want the public to believe about how they are raising pigs, turkeys, chickens and cows. If you want to understand more about why I came to this conclusion, besides plugging my nose every time I have driven past them (CAFO facilities) on road trips in California and Texas, this page on the Sierra Club Michigan Chapter will explain.

Dr. Fuhrman said that to start a healthier way of eating (WFPB), I didn't have to give up my favorite foods... rather, to transition to healthier eating, before eating the "normal" foods, I first had to eat a pound (yes, a pound) of vegetables. Preferably raw. At least, this was my interpretation of what he said (lol). A great summary of the book is here. 

That's a lot of food.  

But I decided that I wanted to pursue this lifestyle. Slowly.

Yes, eventually our taste buds change, and some transitions were easier than others... drinking plant-based milks was easy - I have never really liked milk. I'd have Ovaltine as breakfast in high school, but that's the only way I could stand it. (My dad used to drink a glass of milk with ice... blech. My mom grew up on a dairy farm and had to drink raw milk as a kid, so she never drank much milk after she moved away from home.) 

Giving up Dairy Queen soft serve... er... not so easy but I'm not stopping every week anymore. Eating more beans... not a problem! Cheese wasn't as hard for me as it is for others... though my summer eating is usually tortilla chips with grated cheese and guacamole. Giving that up was hard. But Nisha has a great fake "cheese/queso" that is quick and easy in the Instant Pot ~ and while not cheesy in the traditional sense, it fills that gap for me just fine!

So that's some of the journey.

The Health aspect of this WOL (Way of Life) is huge. Hippocrates is attributed to having said "Let food be thy medicine." 

But this website says something different...  perhaps he said something more inline with, “ 'In  food excellent medicine can be found, in food bad medicine can be found; good and bad are relative.' With some imagination this can be read as: some foods can cure you, other foods can make you sicker; the effect can vary case by case. "

I'm listening to the audio book "Whole: Rethinking the Science of Nutrition" by Dr. T Colin Campbell, which discusses reductive science methodology vs holistic (wholistic?) science methodology and is compelling. I appreciate all that Dr. Michael Greger has said and done, especially with his NutritionFacts.org YouTube channel and bringing our attention to the science. In his book "How Not to Die" he discusses how we might eat better and avoid chronic disease. 

I bought the book "Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us" and haven't started it, but know the whole point of the book is to educate us; that processed food and the companies that produce it has purposefully been made to be addictive, so we buy more (all about the profits), eat more and then buy more. And this practice is making us sick.

And I need to mention Dr. Neal Barnhart who really has shown the light on diabetes. It isn't the sugar, it's the (animal) FAT in your blood that prevents the insulin from getting into the blood cells! His book "Your Body in Balance" is eye-opening. It's about the science of food, hormones and health. What we eat affects our mood, not just our physical body. This is science... S C I E N C E... that (I personally believe) isn't shared in the mainstream because as Dr Greger says... who's going to make money off of real food... "Big Beet?" LOL!

Maybe you've heard that sugar is more addictive than cocaine...? Here's one of the studies. 

But food addiction is another post.

This is just one post about this passion, it isn't meant to be the whole story of how I got to where I am and why I feel so strongly about this. I've been watching, reading and processing this change since 2012... it isn't taken lightly and I've done quite a bit of research. 

It is a personal decision, and I do not judge how other people choose to eat. I do want my loved ones to live healthier, so I may feel sad about unhealthy decisions, but at the same time, the news about diet and what is 'good' for you changes every day it seems. 

On top of all of this, Allopathic doctors are not required to take nutrition classes in their medical training - fewer than 20 hours, according to a google search. They don't treat the cause of the disease, they prescribe medication and drugs... which is a whole 'nother topic! If we ate more food closer to how it grows (whole corn instead or corn syrup, corn dogs, corn cereals), our bodies will appreciate it. 

The human body is incredible! Given the right conditions we can heal ourselves of so many diseases... of course there are always exceptions to the rule(s), but listening and watching the stories of people who have overcome 'diseases of lifestyle' by following a WFPB lifestyle is inspiring!

"Balance in all things" is one way of looking at this, but after all the study I've done, I do not believe that. 

That said, I do believe that breaking bread together is a significant social tradition that benefits our society. Sharing delicious food together that has been lovingly prepared... well, that's important to me. I'm going to choose to eat with friends and loved ones, doing my best to make choices good for me, but not at the expense of being together and demanding my food choices must be made available.

There's a joke about Veganism that Omnivores tell, "How can you tell when someone is a Vegan?" - "Don't worry, they'll tell you." That's not me, which is why I say 93% percent of the time I'm eating WFPB-low SOS. The other 25 days a year I'm enjoying my favorite foods on holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions.

I have lots to say about this topic. And I'll say more later. This is only about my personal story and journey. I'm not telling anyone to do or change anything... except maybe to do your own research on the topic and learn for yourself. But I'm thankful that 'you can't exercize out of an unhealthy way of eating' cuz I'm not a fan of physical movement (lol). Never have been. I'm stretching now... love it and it's my speed! 

I also practice Intermittent Fasting... I aim to go at least 12 hours between dinner and the next day... my ultimate goal is to fast for 18 hours and have an eating window of 6 hours... and when I'm busy that's easy. If I'm not engaged with whatever I'm doing, then I get 'hungry' (aka bored) and look for an excuse to eat. A year ago (December 2021) I started with a 14 hour fasting window and 10 hour eating window, and combined with making healthier plant-based choices 80% of the time, I lost 25 lbs in about 3 months. I've stayed down, and I'm down another 5 lbs now, but have been less disciplined about my fasting/eating windows so haven't lost nearly as fast.

Other "55" Posts... and the sunrise

After I finished my last post, I thought it would be a great idea to blog about other "55" lists...

So coming soon ~

55 Reasons to be Grateful

55 Bucket List Items

55 Bible Verses to Meditate/Memorize

55 Goals for the next 12 months

And here's this morning's sunrise ♥

This one is looking east...

This one is looking west...

55 Things I Love About Myself ~or~ Happy 55th Birthday to Me

When my person, Penny, was turning 55 (I think it was 55), her husband asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She asked me if she could tell him to call me for some suggestions. She told me I was a great (and creative) gift-giver... For what it's worth, she was so fun (and easy!) to find gifts for - I still have things I bought with her in mind, even though she passed away in 2018.

So he called me, and one of the suggestions I gave him was that he write down 55 things he loved about her.

And that's what he did... she said it was the sweetest thing, and even if there were some repeats on the list (lol), she absolutely loved it. I'm sure there were some other gifts involved, but I was always pleased with myself for coming up with such a romantic and fun idea (if I do say so myself, ha ha) and planned to do the same for people in my life.

Today is my 55th birthday, and I don't think anyone is going to be writing a list of 55 things they love about me, so I'm going to do it for myself. Self-Love Baby!! Yeah!

Today marks what I've been calling my "Grand Slam Birthday" aka known as the Denny's Senior Discount Birthday ~ 55 is when the 10% discount kicks in. I had originally planned to have my friends meet me at Denny's for Brunch on my birthday at home - but my Thanksgiving plans were hijacked by the plague, so I ended up coming up to Phoenix-area to spend the day with my mom and step-dad.

It's a good thing, actually (even though I'm still really bummed my original plan was overturned), because it is "Black Friday" after Thanksgiving Day, and I can't say enough about how much I detest going out 'there' when it's even more "people-y" than usual - ugh... and going to brunch at Denny's would have probably been more crowded than usual. So while the actually DAY of celebration isn't happening... I still see a Denny's Brunch to Celebrate Carrie's 55th in the near future.

But I am procrastinating my list...

I love me because...

1. I don't give up easily.

I made my own college graduation announcements (because the money was running out) and I put this Calvin Coolidge quote on the front:

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts."

I may not be consistent, and I'll 'take a pause' - and maybe sometimes I won't even make an attempt, but when I decide to...

!! How very interesting and self-defeating that as I'm writing this first thing, my head is absolutely sabotaging myself! I'm remembering many times that I quit. !!

* I just added "easily" to that first sentence. It's more honest. When I finally do quit, it's only after a lot of thought, heartache, guilt etc...

2. I am thoughtful of others

3. I organize events and gatherings that bring people together

4. I am creative

5. I am constantly trying to improve myself

6. I have learned that "what other people think of me is none of my business" (80% of the time)

7. I keep trying... this isn't the same as not giving up, is it? Sometimes what I'm trying are altogether different things. Hmmmm... maybe it's the positive way of saying the same thing.

8. I am optimistic, with a bit of realism for balance

9. I keep in touch with my friends.

10. I am efficient as I can possibly be ~ when left up to me

11. I do my best to help others succeed

12. I daydream

13. I don't follow the crowd (fashion, trends, 'must haves' for ______ fill in the blank), I often have to use urban dictionary to understand social media posts (Reddit, mostly, ha ha).

14. I am an independent thinker

15. I don't succumb to peer (societal) pressure, I will walk away (avoid)

16. I am strong

17. I am empathetic

18. I understand most people and situations intuitively without having to be told specifically

19. I am intuitive

20. I trust my gut (intuition)

21. I like a variety of vegetables (lol)

22. I prefer 'casual' over 'uptight' ~ comfort over fashion ~ relaxed over restricted

23. I like to have fun

24. I can be extroverted when necessary

25. I am an "ambivert" - I do need quite a bit of alone time

26. I'm never bored ~ there's always something (educational or entertaining) to do/read/create

27. I love to learn

28. I allow myself grace when I don't accomplish a goal

29. I am a natural teacher

30. I love to teach 

31. I love that when I'm teaching, I believe I'm learning more from those whom I am teaching

32. I am generous whenever I can be (time and money)

33. I am deliberate with whom I trust

34. I am a good writer

35. I am a very good singer and musician

36. I (like to believe) I'm open to new ideas ~ but am not sure if this has actually been truly tested

37. I see small details 

38. I see the big picture

39. I have faith in Jesus

40. I have good hair (thanks Dad!)

41. I can be sneaky (lol)

42. I do my best 

43. I am getting better about doing hard things (this list is a very hard thing!)

44. I am taking steps toward increasing my health and energy by eating Whole Food, Plant-Based, No Oil, No (processed) Sugar & very limited added Salt

45. I do my best to not judge others, especially without knowing their story

46. I have a great sense of humor

47. I dig the "deeper discussions" on the 'whys and wherefores' of why we are who we are, what makes us this way and all that goes with those thoughts and conversations

48. I don't let go (this can be a double-edged good/bad thing... today it's a thing I am choosing to love)

49. I sing in tune (this means that while there may be some 'flat notes' in my singing line, I don't flat the song when singing by myself... as for the group I'm with...? Well, that's not something I'm in control of, generally; but "me, myself and I" do not flat)

50. I am critical (more toward myself than others; but hold others to the same high standard I hold myself. Again, choosing to love myself for this trait that can be a double-edged good/bad thing. See 55 bonus*)

51. I have traveled and seen and lived in other cultures, other ways of living and know I have been enriched and educated, inspired and amused because I can step outside of my culture - which I love and am proud of, don't get me wrong - but because of travel I am a better overall human and world citizen because of this one thing

52. I have stuck with my current career (Real Estate) the longest I've ever done any full-time job.

53. I have increased my income while still continuing to work at a pace I am comfortable with and which gives me time to still pursue my "hobbies" 

54. I am sensitive

55. I did this list! (yeah, maybe this is a bit of a cheat, lol, maybe... but I'm still loving myself for thinking of it and then actually DOING it... not just keeping it in a "good ideas" or "someday" folder)

55. bonus* I love than I understand that there is always someone better/worse than me... richer/poorer... smarter/dumber  etc... and that I'm learning to see them all as a child of the living God. We are all His children, regardless of how someone lives his/her/their life. Some days this is easier than others, but going back to having faith, I have faith that I am forgiven, and loved just like all the others here. 

  

Happiness v Wholeness

I saw this quote (below) in an article about a Lifestyle blog. To strive for wholeness over happiness.

A long time ago my dad said that maybe happiness shouldn't be the goal, but contentment should be what we're aiming for. I don't know if that is true, but I think there is a lot to be said for being content.  That's quite Zen, I think, right? To be attached to nothing, isn't that Buddha thing? It certainly keeps the drama at bay.

I liked the quote so much I went over to Canva and quickly put the quote on a background I liked.

The last line is what strikes me as the most significant. 

Ask yourself, "is this contributing to my wholeness?" and if you're having a bad day, it is.

Even our bad days have things to teach us. And what makes it "bad" - versus "annoying" or "frustrating" or just "a day?" Doing a little introspection to find out what feelings are lurking under the surface has the potential to be illuminating. Addressing those feelings...? Even better.

 

Courage.

I've been on a weekend kick of watching videos and reading blogs of people who have chosen to become RV "Full Timers" or "nomads." There's a couple favorites I enjoy, but my favorite is Robin of Creativity RV.

...

Back in June I was asked the question, "what do you want your life to look like in a year?" 

I'll say again, while this is not a new question... it has been the first time that I've thought of my answer(s) almost every day. 

I've also been trying to figure out what I really want. 

I've been incredibly blessed in my life. I'm grateful for all that I've been given. But when given much, much is expected, and I'm afraid I've not lived up to my potential, and am disappointed in myself.

I heard on either an Amy Porterfield or a Marie Forleo podcast the other day about the 10-year Question... which is this: Will I regret NOT having done something/tried something in 10 years? Will I kick myself for having ignored the voice inside asking to try something.

I want to be able to be financially independent while traveling around the United States. 

I want to see every state, and while I wouldn't mind sharing some of the adventure with a good friend, I mainly want to do it myself as a self-confidence building, personal growth challenge.

To simplify my life by decreasing the unessential ~ “It is not daily increase but daily decrease, hack away the unessential." ~ Bruce Lee

Goals. I am creative. I have skills and talents to offer... I am a natural teacher, but I've not ventured into YouTube or even just videos here in blogland. I can write. 

I love learning. Learning about people and our tendencies, habits, the reasons behind why we do things is fascinating to me. I love learning about natural health, food as medicine and healthy eating.

What can I teach that would be worth a $9.95 eCourse or eBook? I come back to singing, but that is usually something taught one-on-one in person. Using learning to sing as one of the pathways to personal growth and development is real, and is something I am passionate about.

Life is short, that is a lesson that keeps showing up every day. 

What will it take for me to have the courage? Will I ever "feel ready?" 

Just start, right?

 

 

Penny Starr, has it really been 4 years?

It’s been 4 years since you had to go away. I miss you every day. Every single day. I miss being able to call you up and vent about a real estate situation… you were a Realtor, so you understood so much more than others, without telling me what I needed to do – you would just listen, laugh when appropriate, be angry and outraged when necessary… you were the perfect one I could call.

Your laughter… so contagious! You were so very generous. With yourself. With your time. With hospitality. Offering to help out whenever possible, in whatever situations needed help. But you also were an excellent delegator.

“Carry.” The inside joke between you and me when a now-former chorus member sent me an email spelling my name as the verb. Like I was a pack-mule. And we laughed because I do carry a lot of crap with me in bags… then we laughed because maybe it *was* appropriate! LOL. I still think about that person who did it and your response and our giggling stupidly about it.

I want to share with you all my news… I miss calling you up and you’d say, “What do YOU know?” and then off we’d go… talking about whatever. I miss your “Idiot of the Day” stories from the apartments, or variety of rental units you and Tez owned and managed.

I’m starting a book! On singing!! You’d be so thrilled for/with me! You’d be so encouraging and excited and want to hear ALL about it. There’s not a lot of people currently in my life who want to hear all about it like you would want to. And singing! You’d have so much good feedback from editing (lol) to input, from stories of us singing together to encouragement of me pursuing this dreamed-for opportunity. You’d ask me how it was going every time we talked! You would help keep me accountable with just writing every day. You were a brilliant writer and editor. I wish you were here.

I haven’t written very much about you, it is still hard. You were one-of-a-kind and were loved by so many people all around the world.

There's no one else I would want to sing duets and harmony with ~ with our guitars and ukuleles, traveling in our separate travel trailers over the United States singing to whoever would listen. And possibly pay us.

I love you, Penny Starr. ♫

Comfort Movies

Courtney Carver from "Be More With Less" is one of my favorite bloggers/lifestyle influencers. She posted this link in a recent weekend "Favorites" email/blog post and I wanted to put this list in a place where I could find it again, and then add my own few to the mix. There's only a few on her list that I haven't seen, and it has inspired me to watch them.

Here I'm going to list my own "Favorite Comfort Movies" list, inspired by Grace at The Stripe, the link above. There's a lot of movies I agree with, some I haven't seen (yet). I've got some catching up to do!

My Comfort List, in no particular order ~

Singin' in the Rain

About Time

Four Weddings & A Funeral

About A Boy

Love, Actually

Notting Hill

Pretty Woman

Runaway Bride

An Officer and a Gentleman

Steel Magnolias

On Golden Pond

Saving Grace

The Devil Wears Prada

Benny & Joon

Father of the Bride (original with Elizabeth Taylor, 1950 & Remake in 1991 with Steve Martin) *eager to see the newest remake which is culturally diverse. Lots of drama in all families!

Made of Honour

When Harry Met Sally

French Kiss

Sleepless in Seattle

You've Got Mail

The Lake House

The Blind Side 

While You Were Sleeping

Mr. Holland's Opus

The American President

Dave

Jerry Maguire

Bridget Jones' Diary (all of them)

Pride & Prejudice (1995 with Colin Firth and 2005 with Keira Knightley)

Sense & Sensibility (2005 with Emma Thompson)

Enchanted April

Under the Tuscan Sun

As Good As It Gets

Fried Green Tomatoes

Driving Miss Daisy

Grease

Mamma Mia

The Sound of Music

My Fair Lady

Oklahoma! (1955 Film with Shirley Jones & Gordon McCrae)

The Princess Bride 

Julie & Julia

A League of Their Own

The Replacements

Remember the Titans

Bull Durham

Sweet Home Alabama

Legally Blonde

Three to Tango

Harry Potter Movies (All)

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy 

Star Wars (the first 3 released)

Circle of Friends (despite the worst fake Irish accent ever by Chris O'Donnell, whom I adore)

Ghost

Sister Act

Heal (a documentary)

Good Will Hunting

The Shawshank Redemption

Honorable Mentions:

The Birdcage

Freedom Writers

The Ron Clark Story

The Adam Project

The Commitments

Silverado

Princess Diaries

The Starling

Definitely, Maybe

Music and Lyrics

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Pitch Perfect

Akeelah and the Bee

A Walk in the Clouds

Cocoon

Field of Dreams

What about you? What are movies that make you feel? Movies that give you hope? Movies that you can watch again and again?

Everyone Can Sing (Part I in a Series)

I've been saying this for years. 

For various reasons, so many people believe that if they don't sound like (my idols) Shirley Jones or Julie Andrews, Hugh Jackman or Michael Ball; or the more well-known super stars of the past 25 years or more ~ Whitney Houston, Josh Groban... Adele* and Taylor Swift... Paul McCartney, Steve Perry... or Barbra ~ if you believe that you cannot sing because you do not sound like those folks, I'm here to say that I believe you are wrong.

*Adele developed vocal issues - 2011 & 2017 - because while her voice is way cool, how she was using her instrument was detrimental to her health.

Just because you don't sing like the folks you hear on the radio... does NOT mean you can't sing. Seriously, it's a fallacy. And, believe it or not, Pop Stars and Celebrities are not always the best example of good singing. I'm not criticizing what sells records. Making music and The Music Business seem to often be at odds, strangely enough. 

When I tell you that yes, you can sing, I'm talking to the younger you who was told by "the expert" aka your music teacher whom you might have had in elementary or middle school. That music teacher was either too lazy or too overloaded or overwhelmed to help you learn to match pitch, so told you to just "mouth the words." This breaks my heart. Then it makes my blood boil. Truly.

Singing is for everyone. Science is catching up... proving that Singing Together is good for us. ALL of us.

Every Body. 

Singing together is for the masses. Singing Together has been done since humans started hanging out together, and the joy that singing together brings to us ~ our heart, mind, spirit, body and soul... well, it is difficult to put into words.

“Singing is a deeply human thing — the human voice is the most expressive instrument of all! It allows us to join in the solidarity of community, or to express the innermost stirrings of our soul. Singing is not just for some of us — it is, indeed, for everyone!” ~ Tziporah Miriam Halperin, Voice Teacher

“For many cultures singing is not performing at all. For these cultures, music is an act of compassion. By singing, these cultures make the world a more beautiful place. Music becomes an act of sharing. There is no audience for this act of compassion; everyone participates.” ~ from this website (Unitarian Universalist Association Website Ariticle on Making Music Live)

I don't "should" very often... but I'm passionate about this, everyone should be singing. 

Remember what Henry Ford said? "Whether you think you can, or think you can't - you're right." 

Stop with the can't, start with the "I'll Go For It."

Deke Sharon, who, if you don't know who he is yet, if you continue reading this series... you will, I adore Deke! Anyhoo... he has a fantastic, short, entertaining video, "So You Think You Can't Sing" which helps me prove this point. Deke has done an amazing job sharing why everybody should be singing, all the reasons we should be singing together.

Science is catching up to just how healthy it is to sing. Sing in and with a group of people.

"Research has found, for example, that people feel more positive after actively singing than they do after passively listening to music or after chatting about positive life events. Improved mood probably in part comes directly from the release of positive neurochemicals such as β-endorphin, dopamine and serotonin." ~ from "Choir Singing Improves Health, Happiness - and is the Perfect Icebreaker"

Honestly, I don't know yet how parts to this series there will be. There's lots of people who believe what I do about how we all should be Singing Together. 

But here's one of the many many things that may stop us from singing, from my completely unscientific experience of the general population... the reluctance (fear?) of singing with (in front of?) other people has more complex reasons than just "I can't match pitch."

Social Media

Recently, two negative things have happened to friends of mine on Facebook... GOOD friends of mine; IRL (In Real Life) Friends. These events make me question if staying on Social Media is worth it. Again. I question myself. Again. Bring out the Pro-Con List. Again. 

What kind of negative things, you ask? Well, this quote sums it up quite well.

 

To have a presence as a Real Estate Agent is one thing, but a professional page is much different than a personal page. And I have threatened to delete/deactivate my Facebook presence at least twice before. 

I bought the book "Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now" by Jaron Lanier because I watched the documentary on Netflix last year, "The Social Dilemma" and I've mentioned it here before, but I believe that it is worth mentioning again ~ it's an eye-opening watch.

Now I really intend to read the book.

I've downloaded my Facebook Page twice previously - so I have my history, if you will. Messenger is a separate thing, so in theory I could keep that going, at least for a little while, in order to "catch" the friends who are only on FB once in awhile.

That said, as I'm obtaining more birthday candles every year, I realize that there isn't enough time to really *be* as good a friend as I would like to be. The phrase "a mile wide and an inch deep" comes to mind... 

Speaking of deeper friendships. I've tragically and unexpectedly lost another great friend in a car accident about a month ago - an accident from which he should have awoken. Dan and I sang together in high school in the Advanced Mixed Chorus as well as the 'elite' smaller group, Ensemble (aka 'The Sounds of Santa Rita'). He walked up to me in the hallway outside of the chorus room the first day of school our sophomore year and showed me a newspaper clipping and said, "my dad died." And that was my introduction to Dan. How we met. He was there, a fixture in my life from then up until I got married and moved away for 5-1/2 years. 

When I returned home, we were still friends, but it was different. Pre-Scotland, people who know, hinted to me that he "liked me" as more than a friend, but I had never felt that way about him... though I did consider it at one point... but realized it had always been and would always be, at least for me, a brother/sister love I had for him. 

My memories of Dan are so very many... I can't sum him up, or my memories in this post, which has, somehow, meandered into sharing this profound loss not just for me personally, but his incredible family and our community. For Dan was the definition of "Community-Minded" or "Community-Focused." He worked as the Community Outreach Director first for Casa de los Ninos and then later for The Southern Arizona Children's Advocacy Center. 

But... going back to the point - I've lost 2 incredible people that were significant to me and impactful to my life (helping me become who I am today) and I didn't know them or meet them because of Social Media. Neither of them put much time or thought into those platforms, come to think of it.

With such big changes happening in my life, I'm thinking I don't need to have 1.7K friends. Or 90 followers. My dad once asked if I actually knew all those people... and that was a number of years ago when I was only at the under 1,000 friends mark, I think. I actually now have a Facebook Group in my friends list that I named "People I Don't Actually Know IRL" lol! They are people who were (or are) part of my former singing organization, which I don't care much about anymore as an organization... or other Real Estate Agents that are in my local community, or part of the network from the RE Coaching Company to which I belong.

I've started unfriending people when their birthdays come up if I have no idea who they are, how I know them, or how we became FB Friends. I'm thinking if I don't know who they are, they are not likely to know who I am, either. I figure if I continue doing this, then in a year's time my friends list will be significantly reduced. A good thing.

I have another friend, a person I've known since my middle 20s, who is only friends with 70 people on FB. She goes through and regularly 'culls' her friends list, and I know this because I've friend-requested her at least 3 times previously...We're friends, then we're not friends. We're friends, then we're not friends. We're friends... lol, you get the idea. This last time when I friend-requested her I actually asked her how this is happening... was she culling her friends? She's another person who has significantly impacted my life (and I believe I was there for her a few times in her life, too), and watching her family through events and photos via FB is a privilege.

But then, there's the couple of people whom I've only met in person once, became Facebook Friends with and wished that he or she and I could actually pursue a connection. A person whom I believe to be a person of character, integrity, humor and significance that I wish were in my circle, or that I would be in theirs. This is only a handful of people, but I wish that these few were more "inch wide and mile deep" friends. 

I've wandered around a little in this post. Social Media. There's good. There's bad. There's in-between. I am an addict, I know - where will I spend hours of lost time if I'm not scrolling? 

I'm thinking of having my own website, my own domain. Where I can share ('cuz I love to share funny, useful, weird and interesting stuff) anytime, anything I want. I want to ensure that those who want to find me will be able to find me, however... so - should I first set up that domain...? OR just share this blog site link as a "space to watch" for future developments. Hmmmm.....

Creating a Day Worth Living - Canva Creation.

I took someone else's creation that had 11 things to do toward "Creating a Day Worthing Living," then added a few of my own to make it personal for me. I created it in Canva and had some posters printed. I plan to put 4 in and around my house so I can remind myself more than once a day that there's still a lot of fun to be done! I also plan to give some away.

I've already determined 2 folks to give them to ... I'm just waiting on the mailers to arrive. Let me know if you'd like to be included (maximum 3 people)... if there's more, then I'll share the creation via a Canva link and you can order your own :-)

 

My Voice

I've been thinking a lot about My Voice. My voice used to mean my singing voice. I am a Mezzo-Soprano in the classical singing world; a Lead/Baritone in the Barbershop a cappella world. 

Like so many of us, my whole world is shifting. I have quit my affiliation/membership with Sweet Adelines International, a women's Barbershop organization with which I began singing with in 1991, fresh out of college. And my quartet has broken up after 11 years. Those stories are for a different day, but suffice to say that after 30+ years of singing barbershop, and now I am not - well, it has left a huge gap in my life. 

 My Voice isn't my singing voice so much anymore.

Once I joined Sweet Adelines, the Chorus & Quartet were, for the most part, priority number 1 in my life. Singing excellent Barbershop a cappella takes a lot (A LOT) of time, thought, preparation, planning - lol, not to mention practice. I started grieving the loss of leaving my tribe of like-minded, passionate-about-this-art-form women and friends in 2021, so my feelings of loss are managed - but Who Am I without all of *THAT*?!

I say all that to say now... I've got time to focus on something I really want, but it feels so incredibly loose and wide open that I'm not taking steps toward what I really want! I feel like I'm just kinda floating along in all this 'free time' - enjoying the luxury of no deadlines, no obligations.

 

So if My Voice is not my singing voice for awhile; at least, not for now... then I need to find my Writing Voice. I want to pursue writing. 

 

So... what is my Writing Voice? Just how do I find it? What do I write about? What do I care about? What am I passionate about? What do I have to say? What can I write about that will allow me to be financially independent? Or, to put it another way; what will I write about that someone else wants to read and for which I will be compensated?

* * *

I'm going to be doing a real estate course called "100 Days to Greatness" and it starts 8/24. So I've been mulling around the whole "100 Days" theme:

• 100 Days of Blog Writing Every Day
• 100 Days of no spending (lol, no Amazon!)
• 100 Days of Reading for pleasure again
• 100 Days of commitment to Whole Food, Plant Based No Oil eating
• 100 Days of learning to cook delicious (and new) vegan recipes
  
• 100 Days of No Processed Food (another way of saying the above, sort of)
• 100 Days of Journaling

There's so much I'm interested in... Focus is a discipline of which I have often fallen short in the past. And yet, I can lose myself in projects. I can "super-focus" and time falls away. I love when that happens!

 

* * * 

What do I want my life to look like in a year?

This was the answer given to me when I asked the question, "Where do I start?"

I would like to be able to financially support myself from anywhere. Ideally, from my truck and trailer rig that might be parked at the White River campground at Mount Ranier National Park in Washington, for instance; that I can hang out in the summer for about 3 weeks or more... writing, reading and enjoying the cool weather. 

I would like to be able to play my guitar and ukulele, cook healthy meals in my Instapot, drink delicious herbal tea and meet other travelers. Perhaps I can even perform a little at some of the RV Parks around the country.

 

I would like to make learning tracks for those who still sing Barbershop, lots of talented musicians don't read music and having a track to teach you the song and your part is helpful. It keeps my "voice in the game" and since I love learning, I'll always be learning a new song!

 

I see myself with a little four-footed furry companion or two, canine preferred since I am allergic to cats :(.

I see myself on my own, but seeing friends and family along my journey. I see myself blogging my adventures - Instagram and maybe even a YouTube channel as well.

* * *

Let's start with blogging, I think. To write every day, starting with a goal of writing every day for 100 days, building the habit and the discipline of writing even when I don't "feel like it." Of writing even when I have nothing to say. Writing about people, places and experiences that have impacted me and what I have learned or gained from these things?