Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Creative Genius

I just watched a TedTalk by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of "Eat, Pray, Love") and in the middle of her talk I had a storm of emotion race through my mind and body and in the path behind it left behind some internal destruction.  She said at the beginning of the talk, "Is it rational to be afraid of doing the work you were put on this earth to do?"

This is profound for me. Asking a rational question regarding doing my passion (which isn't Real Estate, for what its worth) as my work. My Job. This isn't a new idea or thought for me, not at all. But her presentation and that question - from my perspective and belief that we all have something to contribute to enhance and help others (i.e., 'make the world a better place')... well, this question cut to the chase and poured salt in my personal wound. This itch (need) that I only scratch - which only makes it bleed; this itch (need) - to contribute creatively (through music) to the world - is becoming infected. I have been unsuccessful in 'stitching it up to heal neatly.' Rather, I've ignored and distracted myself with other roads I've taken in order to "be sensible" and "be rational."

I really have not been honest with myself.

I signed up for the Scott Dinsmore's Live Your Legend (not sure what to call it) Course a couple years ago and have been putting off  'doing the work' to really engage in the 'assignments' and 'homework.'  I did read an email as a participant of this course recently, which linked to a blog post that had a list of things to think about doing, and I started to narrow my focus on how I can use my passion and talent to maybe create a living. I jotted the following down on the back of an envelope.

Music - specifically singing.
Everyone can sing. Everyone (probably) wishes they could be better, even with no intention of singing for anyone else. Ever. I can help you with that.
After 10 or 15 minutes of hard crying, I feel refreshed, exhausted, inspired.  The things I wrote down while in the middle of this storm were:

anguish. torment. capricious. storm of tears. crazy. break between rational and passion - living my passion. conflict. "right thing." be sensible. I'm afraid. DO YOUR JOB.

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