Always Having Something To Say

I've committed myself to an adventure this year.

Not ready to reveal it *just yet* - but one of the actions I need to take is to get back to blogging regularly. For now, I'll just call it >Watch This Space<

Sometimes I don't feel inspired... or that I have anything to write or say worth reading... but if I commit to Being Thankful for something in each and every post, what a fabulous jumping-off point that is!

* * *

January 1, 2013 ~ Thankful For:
The World Not Ending.
On the lighter side, I'm really glad the Mayan Calendar's last date of December 21, 2012 didn't signify the end of the world. Just really thrilled that we're still here.

Losing 100 Pounds, Gaining 30 Pounds Back
Seriously... I'm still incredibly thankful for MediFast and the fast weight loss I experienced in 2011. 2012 saw lack of focus, boredom, quitting of the walking two 5Ks a week, and regular ups and downs of life stuff; but I'm thankful for all of it... because gaining 30 pounds back fuels my desire to experiment with wheat-free cooking/baking/eating and whole foods, and the Slow-Carb Diet (which I'm going to try for 29 days, like the Becoming Minimalist blog post and the Live Your Legend founder Scott Dinsmore are doing). My 29 days starts on Monday, however. (January 7)

I just found the Slow-Carb Diet (SCD) post with real-life stories of people who have lost over 100 pounds.  Wow. This is the link.

* * *

>Watch This Space< 
Accountability & Action (in other words, things I'm doing to move forward in my adventure)

[1] Writing This Post.
[2] Signing Up for Fat Mum Slim's Photo A Day (Just this month... 29+2 days only) to help me keep focused on the adventure I'm not revealing quite yet.

* * *

My Photo for Today:

Since I took this photo of this page (from Susannah Conway's blog, btw), I've written on it the Bruce Lee Quote that has become my 2013 Mantra...

"It's not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential."

DECREASE is the word for the year... decrease my weight. decrease my stuff. decrease my discontentment. decrease the complexity.

* * *

DECREASE ACTION:
My Plan is to use 15 minutes (or more, if that is the course it takes), 5 or 6 days a week to reduce, de-clutter, simplify and decrease my belongings
.
I threw away a lot of recyclable paper (junk mail), clearing the corner of a table in my studio. (I'll only say this once, here... My craft room is no more... I may use the space to create, but it is my studio... and the decreasing action(s) are to help me realize that expectation.  What we name things is important.)

Day 3 of Detox - the Distilled Water, Lemon juice & Maple syrup day

I failed my pre-fast yesterday... my boss brought donuts to work, and I was hungry :(  Not enough fruit and potatoes available to me in the world would have made up for how delicious the donut was... sad, but honest.  Thank goodness the two donuts left at the end of the day were gone by the time I went to take the box to the break room.

I failed twice.. yesterday, however; because after work, I went to the market to get real maple sryup (I bought some for last time, but couldn't find the bottle... weird), and some more fruit and veggies... and bought a chocolate cheese pastry.  FAIL.

Today I've done well so far - the lemon juice and maple syrup is pretty tasty, I have to say.

I want nuts, however.

I justified my big fails on Friday by saying "the two days of liquid-only are really the days you'll see weight loss... so this will be no big deal" -- :(

So, I'm writing to help keep msyelf honest.  I'm also going to take a fast from Facebook -- I'll check for messages, but not spend hours like I have been -- maybe get back into blogging regularly, and not wasting the time on FB.
* * *

In other news... I successfully synched my ipod to itunes -- apparently you're only allowed to have up to 5 computers per one ipod... I'm now on my 3rd computer (!?) Kinda bugs me.  But, that is a worry I'm borrowing from the future, so I'll let it go away.
* * *

In other good news -- I've been wondering where in the world my lanyard for my Sweet Adeline event badges went... it has a lot of pins and things that I spend money on, and have been acquiring more pins and stuff... and yay - found it
* * *

Other things that have been on my mind... Scrapbooking.

I love it.  I thought I was going to give it up -- but I'm not. I am going to keep it as simple as I can, however -- not keep every. single. thing. (read: scrap of paper) that has the most minute thing to do with anything I've done.  One of the reasons I have the piles of paper I have is that I want to memorialize it -- and since I thought I was going to stop scrapping, I stopped having a place to put that stuff... hence the messier mess.
* * *

A lot has happened that I should tell stories about, but today isn't the time -- today is for organizing. I had to get a new computer (I had a big lesson this time on what it means to copy files over, as opposed to the 'picture' of the shortcut copied... oy. boy.), and most of my documents are in virtual file land, so I'm in the process of copying over files on the computer... listening to my 'high rated' songs on itunes, and then going through the piles of paper and putting stuff in things to keep stuff in *grins*!

Accountability & De-Toxing

Have to get back to blogging regularly & tracking my food.  I was up 6 lbs from last Medifast Weigh in this last week -- and while there were legitimate reasons to be up (after eating my main meal, hot and water-retaining weather), there is absolutely no denying that I went off the wagon and have not seriously attempted to get back on.

So, I started the Medfiast De-tox today... My friend has done it twice since she started (she began MF in January this year) and loves it.  I'm quite head-achey and didn't sleep well, and left work after an hour and a 1/2 because I felt so sick.... I woke up at 3:30 am and only fell back asleep around 5am, to get up at 5:30. My head ached, my stomach felt sick, and I had no concentration.

The paperwork they give you at the Center is kind of confusing -- not easy to know exactly what I'm supposed to do, or when -- and after the strictness of the 5-and-1 Weight Loss so-very-well-laid-out-for-you information, I'm a little frustrated. 

There's some new faces at my Weight Loss Center, and D did a really great job of outlining the papers that I need to pay the most attention to...There are Detox supplements that I'm supposed to take twice a day -- along with the regular regular vitamins... then I'm allowed vegetables, fruit and whole grains (Hallelujah!), 3 to 4 servings a day -- NO Dairy (eggs, cheese, milk, etc), Meat, Poultry, Fish/Seafood, Salt, Sugar, Caffeine (can wean off caffeine for these first 2 days, so had some green tea today), Alcohol, Unbleached White Flour.  No nuts or peanut butter, either. bummer.

Distilled water... and day 3 & 4 are lemon juice and maple syrup liquid-only days. 

Today I started out with 3/4 cup of Kashi Go-Lean Cinammon cereal (YUM!), I think about a cup of Almond Milk (which I'm not sure where that counts in the Veggie, Fruit, Whole Grain line up), 1/2-cup of blue berries... and about 5 strawberries.  YUM YUM YUMMY!! I've not (legally) had fruit for over 18 months.  I did have about 6 delicious fruit-stand-in-Gilroy strawberries on a day the first week June on the road trip with mom -- but that was the first time I'd 'cheated' with fruit, so having fruit is wonderful... and what a fabulous time of year to start!  It took all my supplements, but forgot I was supposed to be drinking distilled water -- so had my normal water with vitamin C crystals (probably around 20 oz before leaving the house).

At work, I had one packet of MF crackers (1/2 a whole grain), to see if that would settle my stomach... I fixed myself water with green pomegranate tea and Vitamin C crystals... and really was missing my coffee! Eating didn't help -- I was miserable.

On the way home I ate a few more blue berries, and another serving of the Kashi cereal, which I'd taken to work for a snack.  And then I started to feel slightly indigestion-ey... the cereal is the culprit, I'm pretty sure...

I was home by 9am, and slept until 1:30 pm -- still headachey, but not the weird stomach feeling, which was good.  I had 7 more strawberries, 2 packets of the MF Soy bites (1 whole grain serving), a small low-sodium V-8 (1/2 veggie serving), 1 cup of celery (1/2 a veggie serving), and 1 cup of green grapes (1 fruit serving).  I then cooked a cup of brown rice in the steamer, and served up 1 cup on a small plate -- and 1 cup of brown rice is HUGE... so I've been nibbling on that all afternoon.

It is 6:25pm, and I only have 2 veggies and a fruit left for the day -- and the rest of the brown rice.

I was given two food diaries... one is the normal MF one, and one is for the detox.

I hate being unsure of things.  Which is an issue outside of the realm of food -- most of life is unsure... no wonder I'm anxiou and frustrated. meh.
* * *

Back to blogging.
It feels good, and I've missed it.
* * *

In case you're wondering. Yes, I'm hungry.  But I'm supposed to lose between 5 and 8 pounds on the de-tox... so watch this space.  I think this will get me back to seeing the numbers go down, which will help keep me motivated to stay AWAY from the dark chocolate covered almonds. Regardless that a serving is only 18 carbs... who eats just 9?  People who are not mindless eaters, that's who.

Happy Easter 2012

I came on to write a blog post about an hour and a half ago... between writing down visualizations, checking out Pinterest, a few things on the yahoo site, buying a scarf and glowing solar flower garden stake -- I finally made it to write the blog -- now if only to remember what I was going to write about (!)

Now I have a headache from surfing the net, and...

wow. focus is tough.

What a week last week was -- so glad this is the start of a new week.

It started Sunday when I spent about 3 hours pulling weeds and picking up the dog poop -- and trimming branches from the tree... I knew I'd be hurting -- but have NEVER hurt as much as I have this past week. I'm still aching when I put my socks and shoes on... owwww! All week long I was moaning and groaning when I had to get up and walk anywhere. Funny had I not been in so much pain. But its funny now :-)

Found out Tuesday that someone fraudulently filed a tax return in my name - in New Hampshire - in February. And they got back a little over $5,000 (!). Nothing else, thankfully, is going on with the ID Theft -- no credit cards issued, or unusual activity on our credit cards... but I was a bit shaken up. What a headache. And filing next year will be even more of a headache. Not ever funny.

Wednesday I was locked out of my house for a while - not a big big deal, but I realized I shouldn't leave my purse and keys and, well, EVERYTHING in the other room that can be locked with no way to get to if I don't know where the spare keys are. This is funny now - not at 5:45 am when I realized I was locked out.  But it did give me a morning to get stuff done, which was nice.

Thursday I lost my gas cap - and well, I don't want to be negative, but the idiot girl who worked at the QT wouldn't give it back to me when I went by at 11pm at night asking if perhaps someone had turned it in around 4pm that afternoon, as that was the last place I'd seen it. 

Really...? Is there a rash of thieves going around taking random gas caps that they don't even know might be there in the back office of convenience stores?

But I got it back. This is funny.

I was up 2 lbs at Medifast on Thursday night. So not funny.

I wasn't exaggerating when I said I'd had over 20 pieces of chocolate (Easter) candy.
And I did the same thing yesterday at work.
But it is all gone now, so just don't buy any more. Much easier to resist it in the store than in the work drawer.
* * *

Watched Forks Over Knives last night.

I've thought for over 20 years that being a vegetarian is right for me... don't get me wrong, I love meat (and the smell of bacon being cooked right now is wonderful!) -- and eggs, and cheese, and all the things associated with animal foods. But on some level I've always thought a plant-food diet should be the way *I* eat.

Maybe I haven't been strong enough to stand up to nay-sayers... or maybe I didn't want to have to really work hard at making difficult choices... or making decisions about going out with friends and social occasions in general more difficult (choosing a restaurant becomes much more difficult, let alone going to a church potluck).

This year on Medifast, however, I've been pretty much taking my own food with me most places, and it goes well. I bought "The China Study" book about 5 or 6 years ago, and while it has a lot of boring 'results of the study' graphs and charts - the bottom line is that eating plants is healthier. I then did some more online reading and read a lot of 'other side' arguments, and put the book away. And went back to "balance in all things" kind of thinking, and put it out of my mind. T Collin Campbell is co-author of the The China Study, and is one of the two main Doctors who are featured in the Forks Over Knives documentary.

Seeing the people in the video physically change and proclaim the health benefits... well, it just put the last weight on the balance scale in favor of going to a plant-way of eating. Which means no animal by-products (i.e., dairy). The cholesterol numbers were compelling -- not to mention the woman who doesn't have to take medication for diabetes anymore... and she works at a diabetic center, where no methods of medication had changed her health.... (!?!?!?!?!) But I think it was 6 weeks on the plant-based diet that had her off her diabetes medication(s).

Of course, last night himself went out and bought milk, and for me and my coffee some cream... and there is butter in the house... and I had some cottage cheese for dinner... so this will be huge change that will happen gradually. I plan/hope that it will get me back interested in cooking real food for my Lean & Green... and I'm looking on the non-meat protein sources on the MF charts, which means "Tofu - here I come!"

It comes down to where I want to spend my time and effort(s).
Choice.

Day 1 of Restart -- Sept 1 is goal date for Goal Weight

I'm just sayin'.

Time to stop dilly dallying around.

MF Scale = 240.8 today.  Makes my loss 97 lbs.  Phlsdplthmpthss! (that's a strawberry, in case you needed a translation).

I bought more shakes - and I plan to have 3 shakes a day, plus a soup and a bar -- my extra's will be cream in my coffee, and a measured amount of almond butter and celery.  I may even go back to pickles!

And a plan to work out my arms.  They're ick.

Freedom in Obedience... when I know the rules, I don't have to worry about choices. 

Heading to bed now. REALLY need to make getting up EVERY DAY at 5am a priority.

every. day.

Mid-February Re-Start

I was up 3 lbs at Medifast yesterday. Knew it would be bad.

No surprise... though this past Monday I saw a new (low) number on my home scale... I then went out and bought "treats" for my team at work = Butterfinger hearts and Dark Chocolate Dove hearts... and well, they got a few of the Butterfinger hearts.

I also inhaled a tin of semi-deluxe nuts (less than 50% peanut mix) in a couple of days... and combine high salt with not enough water... having a sugar binge - all that equaled the 3 lb gain. Well, I have to say it stops today.

Yesterday, driving home -- I bought roasted almonds and bag of Lindt's Chocolate truffles - which are my favorite.  3 truffles = 15 carbs... but of course I didn't limit myself to only 3.  I just called the day a loss and rather than go have a couple of slices of pizza... or some salsa & chips... I enjoyed the sugar; then crashed.
* * *

Last night I once again was thinking about what kind of life is what I want to live
[my mind is racing right now and it is a bit difficult to be coherent when so many thoughts are competing to be first... just a warning that the following may or may not make sense.]
and I had the thought that I need to be a grown up.

(I think) a lot of what I'm struggling with is my inner child not wanting to give up anything. (scrapbooking, memorabilia, stamping, crafting, projects, sewing, Martha Stewart-esque plans for my home and life)

I don't want to have to make a choice. I want it all.

And it isn't the first time I've had the thought, but it is the first time I've had it so incredibly internal -- not just like I was looking at the thought and understanding the concept intellectually and saying, "I see... interesting and quite true..." as if from afar... like an objective counselor talking with a counselee... but rather -- having it come from a bubbling place inside of me. Without Resentment. It was with Acceptance.

HUGE!

Can we hear a big WOOT!!!???!!!

* * *

What I want is changing... and the letting go of past dreams in order to create and make real the new ones I think puts me in a place of mourning.  Mourning the death of past dreams, which I'm still (very much so) attached to, and love dearly; and if there was enough time in the day I still totally want to do (!) But the reality of needing to make some difficult choices creeps in more and more each day, and I'm still in the process of trying to get clear on what it is I want my (our) life to look like.

1. Health & Fitness -- (still looking to add another 30 minutes of walking a week, and two or three days of resistance fitness activity)
2. Home & Husband -- Simplifying. Clearing the stuff. Cooking healthier. Planning time together. Growing a Kitchen Garden. Having a herb garden.
3. Job/Career -- still working on how to want this as a higher priority in reality
4. Family & Relationships (has moved up the priority list) -- taking a balance of time off between family and chorus/quartet events. Keeping a few meaningful card-making supplies for creating a few meaningful projects.
5. Quartet -- Be a member of Club 21 (means winning a regional contest and a shot at competing at International)
6. Chorus -- Be a member of a Top 10 Chorus.

To accomplish even a simplified list of things: my main goal is to go to bed earlier (by 10:30 at the latest) and getting up at a regular time (5:30 at the latest). Watching less mindless television.

So I've been trying to think of things that will actually get me excited to get up in the morning put together a list of things to think about before I fall asleep that I will remember in the morning so I'll actually get up... and be productive... some reasons to get up consistently at 5am.

I struggle with being specific in this area.  Having a list of housework that I need to accomplish isn't doing the trick. Surprise. Not.

Doing music is one of them... but in order for me to get up, start the kettle for coffee/tea and actually come in and be productive - I need the space to work (which is definitely NOT something I have around me at the moment) and some outlined goals on which to focus.
* * *


And I have to express my extreme sadness and grief of the too early death of one of Pop Music's greatest voices. Whitney Houston died yesterday at age 48 -- details about it I haven't seen yet, but I would guess that her later drug use and addiction came from a place of trying to escape the pressure and expectation that a needy (greedy) business demanded.  And from what sounds like a tormenting love relationship.

What a gift she was blessed with, such a tragic, tragic end to her life. My prayers are with her family :(
* * *

I'm so blessed... and incredibly thankful. Thank You.
* * *
eta:
PS -- is is 02-12-2012.  Cool. Thanks Ben

Day 363 of Medifast - Happy 2012

New Year has always been hard for me... How did I do? What do I want to do? The whip comes out and it is a week before and after the first day of a New Year that I punish myself repeatedly over all the things from which I fell short. Painful.

Yesterday was no exception. I went to church - (YAY!! A good start to a new year!!) and had a lovely lunch at one of my favorite local restaurants, The Blue Willow (where, as it turns out, was about the only place I did any Christmas Shopping for this year) - with my good friend T, and had a delicious Mushroom, Spinach & Cheese omelet with sauteed veggies on the side... seriously yummy!! After that, I had time to myself, and the swirling little nags that whisper in my ear began.

There's been a choice I've been thinking about making... thinking for a long long while... about a road that I've been debating turning down... that absolutely would disrupt my life completely -- and yesterday, after being able to vent and talk a little about it to my other good friend; and some more time spent in thought and debate inside my own head this morning... when I finally prayed about it this morning as I was drinking coffee and eating my MF Brownie outside in the gorgeous sunshine -- and in probably one of the fastest answers to a prayer I've ever had ...I have, I think, finally internalized the gratitude attitude that is essential in keeping those of us prone to the trenches of depression, OUT of that downward spiraling rut...  and that serving others is what we are created for.

Making drastic changes externally doesn't change the inner voices and thoughts -- I'm still the same person regardless of my surroundings... to change our thoughts... that takes a discipline that I know exists, but as of yet I've not been able to be consistent with achieving. Disrupting my life wouldn't make it easier... it would just be another distraction to take me off the painful truth I have to face in my own self.  I'm not saying I'm a bad person... just that it is difficult to acknowledge places where I lack, and that my anger toward others is  because I see in them something I hate about myself.

Love myself = Love others.

I Am Enough... They Are Enough.

Judging Others really means I'm Judging Myself... and no one here on earth has any right to judge me, even me!

I think... no, I know (!)... my focus has been off. I've been incredibly selfish in my thoughts and actions this year -- some might say it was required in order to stay on the Medifast Path. I have 48 pounds to go. To be more honest - I weighed in at 236.2 this morning.  234.6 is the weight on my scale that needs to show 100 pounds lost. So as of today, I really have 50 more pounds to lose. I go up to MF this Saturday, the 7th... so I have this week to focus on losing those two pounds, and if I do some exercise (which I did *not* do early this morning - but the day isn't over yet), perhaps I could be down 1 more pound.

Well... Tuesday will be a year of Medifast, and the reasons I overeat are still here. I still feel the emotional pain, the anger that I quell with sugar (it may be dark chocolate now, but it is still not the healthiest way to deal with discomfort and/or anger) and the constant frustration at not being enough. But as I said in the previous post. Enough is Enough.  And I AM Enough.

It is Now Time to approach myself without judgement... and to focus on doing what I can to lighten a burden, and make someone else's journey that much more pleasant. 

* * *

3rd FB Post of 2012: Focus

Less Time on Facebook... More Time reconnecting.
[i.e., set the timer and stop when timer goes off - make a phone call, create a card and write a real note!]

Less Time feeling bad over all the things I've not done or accomplished... More Time acknowledging efforts made and awareness of success (even small successes like remembering to set the 15 minute timer for an unpleasant chore).
[Get back to writing in a journal/blogging on a daily basis with daily gratitude]

More Water... Less Coffee (more herbal tea).
[32 oz water before leaving the house for the day... makes 64 oz a day much easier!]

More Focus on others... Less Focus on *me me me* (could use some prayers and positive thoughts on this one... it is a challenge for this only child ;-).
[Meaning for 2012 I think is "what can I do today that will make someone else's day easier/better/cheerier/more blessed/more fun/positive?"]

More Walking... Less Sitting
[There are 23 - 1/2 hours to sleep and work and do the other things... 30 minutes every day of walking is a priority]

More Prayer... Less Mindless Television (Ummmm.... Downton Abbey is not mindless... right? ;-)
[Self-explanatory]

Day 328 ~ AT LAST!!

100 Pounds GONE!!

100.4, exactly.  48 lbs to go until goal.

I'm so relieved this day has come... excited to move on to the next goal -- and the next fitness goal, which will hopefully be the walk/jog once I reach goal.

Not particularly in the mood to write/blog at the moment, but wanted to mark this MILESTONE reached.  :D :D :D

Day 292 (Eeek -- How is it almost Halloween?)

240.0 This morning.  4 lbs away on the Medifast Scale from 100 pounds lost.  (Started this journey at 338).

A bit disappointed that I'm hovering around this number for so long. BUT... my love for TJ's Almond Butter with Roasted Flax Seeds and the realization that I'm an abstainer (keep reading)... have contributed, among other regular life things, to being in this holding pattern.

On being an Abstainer (vs. a Moderator) -- Samuel Johnson said:

"Abstinence is as easy to me, as temperance would be difficult."

How I came to this realization: I brought chocolate in for my team at work -- we were having a tough month  [plug here: Please Give Blood... and if you can't, please encourage those who can to do it....], and so for every appointment for a blood donation, they could have a small piece of chocolate. The Halloween candy had just come out, so it was easy to find bite-sized treats.  I was fine resisting until I started on the Dove Dark Chocolate.  Then I had a couple of the bite-sized Reese's peanut butter cups, then the chocolate kisses.  The final straw came when I bought a bag of Tootsie Rolls at the dollar store, as a final test to see if I could just have the serving size (28 carbs) and leave the rest alone. And at the end of the day the entire bag was gone.  No, it wasn't a huge bag - it was the $1 store... but I've learned, without a doubt, that in these things it is easier for me to say NO altogether, than to be okay with just a few. In other words - this is why I have to say I'm an Abstainer, as I'm not moderate about much in my life... especially food.

Eating out in restaurants... sharing desserts is okay because once it is gone, it is gone -- and 2 or more people have helped. For me to order my own and only eat a few bites, or only eat half of it -- nope, not so much.

The Happiness Project blog is what brought this to my attention, and I'm for sure an "All Er Nuthin'" Girl! Which kills me... because I firmly believe that balance and moderation makes for an easier, fulfilling life... but apparently not for me. And I know I'm not alone... and what a bummer that I struggle with that 'never enough' issue. I'm sure there are some wonderfully deep psychological reasons for it... and perhaps as I continue on this journey this aspect of my personality will change.  In the meantime, limiting my access to 'off plan' food is the only strategy that will work to keep losing
* * *

I took days off this week to clear stuff out of my room... and to listen to the Sweet Adelines International Webcast of International Contest in Houston, Texas that is happening this week.  What a wonderful thing this technology we have (I truly have a love/hate relationship with technology...)

It is such an emotional thing to get rid of stuff. I love George Carlin's comedy routine about stuff -- so true.  I've been collecting books and articles on questions to ask when trying to decide what should go and what should stay.  The most helpful hint I've seen is "If I agonize for too long --> THROW IT OUT!! Don't make the decision whether to toss or keep a difficult one!"  This one helps as I start going through stuff.

December will be my last senior citizen craft class -- I'll give them my ideas for future craft projects, and anything that I may have that I haven't already donated.  I'm sad, but it is also a relief.  Part of discovering who I am again (now that layers of extra weight are gone), is continuing to ask myself what it is I want.  And the answer is always the same - music. My emotions are so strong about music and singing and what I want to be able to do... more on that later.

I've taken a small load of craft supplies to church... and my goal is to get pretty close to having all my scrapbooking supplies fit into one bag - and one bag for the album and pages. My cousin-by-marriage has reduced her scrapping stuff to this, and it just makes so much sense.  Harder will be getting rid of memorabilia I've been saving....  It was more important when I was living in Scotland to scrap. And as I've lost weight I realize that I was scrapping to re-live good times, that it was a way to validate myself and keep my emotions 'up' with the good memories.  I'm living a little more in the now, I think.

I do plan to keep on making cards and stamping...and there is a big cross-over in the supplies that it takes for that and scrapbooking... so it won't all go away (!)
* * *

I need to get back to regular posting... it helps me.  And pictures (though not much has changed in the last month).  I did finally make some muffins from the Medifast pancakes and different muffins from the eggs, shakes, & oatmeal... it has been a nice change to have "toast" with a bit of butter!

This is a weird, disjointed post -- I need some time away from the computer now, so it is what it is. :-)

Day 236 ~ Scattered

Not 6 lbs away from 100 (math... grrr....) 12 lbs away.

And this morning I'm up on the scale, so who knows how far away I am from losing 100 lbs at this moment. I actually measured my lean and green last night - which I've not done in awhile... I did have an extra MF bar, however.

My walking buddy called this morning and she hadn't slept well, so wasn't going to make it.  So I'm finishing laundry, I went to the grocery store to get celery, cream for my coffee, eyeliner, and more La Croix water (this blogger writes with passion about how awesome this product is!!) - which I found in Cran-raspberry flavor... can't wait to try it!

I've taken out the garbage, taken the recycling to the curb, and made morning coffee for himself and me.  I'm planning on getting in the shower around 7:30 am, and was going to mindlessly surf on facebook, but decided I had time for a blog post.

I'm feeling stretched thin, and losing focus on making what I'm doing on Medifast fun.  I've stopped trying new recipes, I'm not reading the blogs as much, or checking in at the forums.  I'm trying to add another day of exercise in my week - which I did last week, and this week I'll now have to do tomorrow and Saturday.

I'm sporadic with my habits, and I know better! Which makes it so much worse. I think "just this morning" I'll skip my two glasses of water and vitamins... or my 15 minutes of dishes... or swishing and wiping the bathroom ~ and it leads to chaos (can't have anyone over syndrome) as well as boredom and complacency with my eating.  I don't want to be complacent... or bored. I'm kind of in an emotional slump, and lacking motivation and inspiration.

The definition of being a grown up is what we do every day. Every. Day. routines (a la Flylady). 

Priorities In Order: 

• health & fitness;  
• home & husband;  
• work/career;  
• quartet; 
• family/relationships;  
• chorus 

- with God over all as the guiding truth behind decisions... but I allow my mood to dictate my actions.  How true I have found the following quote ~

“Discipline is obeying the rule you set when you were in a different mood than you are now.” - Seth Godin

Answer? Just keep going... don't give up... every day is a new day... be grateful for where I am, and trust that where I am right now is where I need to be. Start using my 15 minute timer... and STOP when it goes off, and move on to the next task!

Day 209

What an icky week last week!

Yesterday was MF weigh in day... and I was up 2lbs from the last weigh in ~ still down 86 lbs, however.  On my scale at home in the two weeks between MF weigh ins I was 253 to 247; then I was up two lbs on Saturday morning... after being very careful about what I ate on Friday... I was extremely good, in other words! Then, when I stepped on my scale yesterday morning, I was up 2 flippin' lbs.... So yesterday... I wasn't careful... I had TWO of the really yummy MF bars (Caramel Nut Maintenance Bars with 22 g of carbs each), probably two soy snacks, one bag of the new "Cheese Pizza" Flavored snack meals, and 3 regular bars... with grilled chicken w/ non-fat cheese on a bed of spinach for dinner.  I had one piece of pepperoni picked off a friend's pizza (which I knew wouldn't hurt)... I had a ton of carbonated 'free' water ( http://www.lacroixwater.com ) and didn't have my vitamins. I didn't exercise on Thursday (more on why in a minute).

And today....? DOWN 2 lbs (!?!)

Another lesson on not watching the scales, I suppose... :D

Actually, I'm not really upset, angry or even that frustrated.  Mystified, perhaps *wink wink.* I'm a little frustrated with some other things going on, but the weight loss and my efforts  here are fine.  86 lbs in 30 weeks...not bad!! I'm feeling the trousers I bought not that long ago getting much looser, and clothes that friends are donating to my cause are fitting!  I'm putting some much-loved-and-recently-purchased tops in a bag to donate and give away... so I know I'm still on the right track!!

I do want to hit that 100 lbs in time for the Rockin' Party I'm planning on October 15... so I need to re-focus my energy and efforts and commitment to health each and every day.  Sometimes I let the other stuff take precedence....  For Example:

Chorus ~
Next weekend (August 5th) is the Double Quartet Contest for Region 21 during "Camp Agave" ~ our Summer Educational Seminar weekend in Tempe.  Renee Porzel, Sweet Adeline extraordinaire Showmanship judge, choreographer and Assistant Director to the amazing Melodeers Chorus in the Chicago area is coming to share with us her talents and insights regarding thinking outside the box for character, movement and energy on the risers.  Of course, I'm just as if not more excited about participating/competing the Double Quartet Contest... The group I 'm singing with are all dynamos and really talented (including my own quartet members)... and we're sounding really good.

I'm not sure if we're truly "Golden Banana" worthy... knowing my good friend is working with two other DQs in the Phoenix area and what talent (funny stuff) they're capable of gives me my doubts, but we'll sure be ringing some chords, and THAT is so much fun in and of itself.

That being said, last year's contest seemed to have made some changes to the 'good singing' aspect of the contest... it isn't just about being funny... the most entertaining is the criteria --- and to be entertaining you need to sing pretty darn good!

So... extra rehearsals for DQ have been in my life the past couple of weeks... Regular QT rehearsals and stuff that goes on there... Chorus Rehearsals... Chorus Board Meetings... Chorus Music Team Meetings... and then there's the Show Committee of which I'm a part... Meetings for that... along with things I'm supposed to be doing (I'm doing the program layout, and tickets). I've even dropped some responsibilities, believe it or not!  I'm in charge of putting stuff on the Chorus Website (just a bit longer on that one, as a new web-based communication tool is in the works).

SIDENOTE: As I'm writing today, I'm sitting in the living room easy-couch, hubby is watching TV, and I've got my earphones on, listening to classical music... Mozart, to be specific.  If it has words, I'm easily distracted, so non-word music is best for me when I'm trying to do anything that requires creativity... otherwise I start typing the words I'm hearing in the song.  But right now, the Trio from Cosi Fan Tutte is playing, "Soave sia il vento" -- and reminds me of the time in college when we did scenes from Cosi, and the singing Trio is one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. In college we did it in English, and I sang the Mezzo (harmony), and the translation words are really beautiful ~ we ended up singing it for a wedding. Opera: Much more fun to sing than you'd think ;-)  AND -- Mozart's comic operas are a great way to start!

Back to regular blogging:

Other things going on:
Moving of my Craft/Music Studio... still very much in progress.  I'm deeply overwhelmed, at least I was yesterday. Today is better.  Hubby and I were supposed to be going out at 10am to go fishing... it is 10:20 am, I'm dressed and teeth brushed, he's still very much watching mindless tv.  Not sure what we'll do. Normally I'm not in the house on a Sunday, so I hope to do a little more moving of things, or crafting today.  Catching up with a super long blog post (long overdue!) is certainly a good thing :-)

Future Plans:
100 lb party!! I wanted to do something to commemorate this significant milestone ~ something creative with a gathering of people... and himself came up with a great idea! We'll have guests bring X lbs of food (number of guests X number of lbs to = 100 lbs) and we'll load me up with 100 lbs of food, take some pictures, then donate the food to the Tucson Community Food Bank. Cool Idea, dontcha think? :D

So... 14 lbs to go until I've lost 100 lbs.  WOWZA!!!!  Can we say Happy Dancin' Here?!?!?!

Himself also expressed interest in doing MediFast... we need to talk about it some more, and our new treadmill arrived and is set up in the eating area facing the tv -- it has a built in fan & speakers, with a plug for the mp3 player -- and so yay! He has plans to walk 15 minutes in the am, 30 minutes in the pm, building up to eventually an hour 1/2 a day (I think that was his plan).

Work:
Three weeks at the new position... had to do a lot of time on the phones this last week, as lots of our team were out.  I ended up going home early on Wednesday as I felt really shaky, sort of dizzy, and had a weird upper stomach (diaphram-ish area) cramping going on. I think I had too many aspartame mints the day before (was VERY hungry on Tuesday and didn't bring enough water with lemon), and plus it was day one of Girl Week, and I'd not slept very well... all things combined to make me feel just awful.  I came home and slept from 9am until 2pm... then sat around and watched tv and did nothing. Felt ooky... that sort of hollow, empty feeling after you've been sick and are feeling better, but still kind of vacant...? Thursday was 98% improved, and by Friday I was good.

Our team is hopefully having a great weekend and we'll make goal for the month.  We're really really really close!!! The new team manager (whom I work with and report to) is really a good, fair and objective guy, and I think it is showing in the team by our better numbers.

IF (when) we make goal, I promised to make my CONTEST-WINNING lasagna.  Thursday was National Lasagna day (really? July is the month they choose to have a national Lasagna Day??!?!), so the Call Center put up a sign-up sheet to have a "Best Lasagna" contest... my recipe comes from my Aunt Marilyn, and my mom's been making it and receiving loads of compliments since I can remember... so I signed up! I made it in Scotland and people loved it, so I figured it was worth a try... and IT WON!!! WOOT WOOT!!! $25 gift-certificate to the Olive Garden was the prize, which I'm donating to the Chorus Raffle Basket for the Show in November "Flavors of the World" -- yay!!


So... hope anyone who comes over to read is feeling a little caught up on my life! It has been a bit of a ramble through my brain, and hope it mostly makes sense ;-)

I'm still trying VERY hard to remember to think about exercise differently... to make fitness and health challenges met and overcome as rewarding as seeing the scale move down!

Seriously... I need to start working out with the resistance bands in August for my arms. The arm wings are really gross.

We've talked about joining a gym (I really want a pool, and lean toward the YMCA that isn't far away), since himself's work won't be helping to pay for any more home exercise equipment, but they'll contribute to a gym membership.

Day 199!

A Photo is worth a thousand words...

Not Sure What Day It Is...

I lost focus last week... only lost 1 lb (but hey, it was a loss!)

Am posting pictures of what has been my focus the past 3 to 4 weeks...

 March, 2010

April, 2010

What My Craft/Music Room Used To Be...

Early 2011

Rascal Making His Inspection

May, 2011

Oooohhh.... Definite Progress! June, 2011

I've had help!! July, 2011

It is practically like I'm moving... there's still A LOT of stuff in the old room (which will become a guest room/workout room/ sewing room with lots of books in it!)... and a few things still in storage ~ which I hope to get out of storage this month... not sure where it will all go, yet.

I started walking again... now that my schedule is varied, but set.

Down 2 lbs this morning... and this week I think will be the 200th day on Medifast.

Will do a proper update/blog post this week.

Day 184 ~ Dog Days o f Summer... is it Cooler Yet?!

Well... I've not walked in two weeks and I really am missing it.  My work schedule is a bit varied: Mon/Thur 9am to 5:30 pm; Tue/Wed 6am to 2:30pm; and Fri 7am to 3:30pm... (!!)  I need to be walking at 5am rather than 6am in order to have enough time to get all the stuff done that I want to get done in the morning as well as walking, and I've not been 'like clockwork' in my rising habits.

That needs to change NOW.

I was up at 5am this morning (in bed by 11pm) as a friend is coming over to help me talk through what my craft/music studio/room set up needs to be.  My house is in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome -- from FLYlady) and so before she gets here I wanted to at least get the first layer of dog hair and dust cleaned up... and looky here, I'm blogging ;-) Can we say PRO-CRAS-TIN-ATE?!?! *lol*

I will vacuum and dust when this is done... the new craft room is coming along --- but right now it is in that 'in between' time where there is just stuff everywhere, and no place to put it. Overwhelming is just the first word to describe it.  Having someone to help me talk through what I need has helped tremendously in the past... and this friend is a 'do-er' -- she is a 'get 'er done gal' and extremely practical, so while I'm not as prepared for her visit as I was hoping to be, I think today will be a productive day and see results!
* * *

Eating wise I had a not-so-hot week... stayed the same because I wasn't getting up early enough to make decent dinners... not walking and just kind of eating on the fly. Because Medifast is a program that is so convenient, I have to keep up and maintain the good habits I'm learning forever... I let the health/weight loss priority slip and come up to number 3 or 4 at times this past week, and it shows on the scale.

Last night I finally cooked a real dinner (grilled chicken with my normal salad.. which is delicious!), but went overboard with the grilled veggies and spinach/romaine combination.  I hadn't cooked or fixed a lean and green all week... I was eating celery with TJs Almond Butter w/ Flax Seeds (this stuff is awesome), I picked up some really good seasoned roast beef from TJs, with some string cheese, and with the celery ate that one night... I think one night I had tuna/cottage cheese on my spinach/romaine combo, which was good... but most nights this week I just ate an extra one or two MF meals and that was it.  Not Good!!
* * *

I was out three nights with chorus stuff, and this month is gonna be chock-full again... a really fun weekend in August is coming up, but it requires extra rehearsals with a small group... and trying to get 8 busy women together is incredibly challenging.

I feel a little as if I'm doing 3 steps forward, 2 steps back.... 2 steps forward.... no movement.... 1 step back.... staying focused when there are so many things that distract me is certainly challenging.  I have to remind myself that I won't be able to do all those other things if I don't change my lifestyle... and the success I've had so far kind of lulls me into a sense of complacency.  I still have 50+ lbs to lose, but am feeling so incredibly good that perhaps I've lost a bit of momentum...?

I've let go of a few responsibilities, but now have new responsibilities at work, which I am enjoying right now... early days yet, but I really like my new manager (he has an extremely dry sense of humor, which reminds me of my uncle and lots of family :-), and being more of a coach and cheerleader for a new team seems to be working.

Rambling... that is what this post is doing... all over the place in my little brain this morning!

Time to stop procrastinating and start running the vaccum, now that it is almost 7am. 

Here's to a week that finds me back with the right focus and priorities!

Day 177 ~ 80 lbs DOWN!!!

Wow.

I can't believe I've come this far. I have to try on clothes now to see if they're going to fit -- whereas I just guessed before because it really didn't matter.  Big and loose was my criteria -- now I have to worry about what it actually fits like.

Shopping is becoming fun again... it has been A LONG time since I enjoyed going clothes shopping.  I still can't buy a lot, because I don't know what the final number/size will be ~ but there are certain things I can get that don't really matter -- things with drawstrings around the waist, for instance.
* * *

I finished the first week of work with my NEW PROMOTION!! WOOT!!! I think I'm gonna like it here.... I'm plagued with the normal self-doubts and general lack-of-knowledge and there are a lot more numbers than I anticipated (keeping track of agents' stats - CPH, APH, PROD, Efficiency, Testable, Show Rate....). 

Thursday, one of my new team members brought in 5 pans of home-made German Chocolate Frosted Brownies.... (?!?)  and gave me one of the pans.... OMG!!!

But, guess what? I wasn't even really tempted.  I was curious as to what they tasted like, but they did have huge chunky walnuts (not a fan of chunky walnuts... more of a pecan/almond/cashew/pistachio/peanut fan), so wasn't overly curious.  When I dished up a big plate for himself, I managed to sneak 1/4-of a fingernail taste of the frosting and it was TOO SWEET!! Hallelujah!!
* * *

Chorus and quartet have been really really busy... show planning for the chorus (November 12 is the date), singing gigs for the quartet ($$), and trying to get my craft room moved into the new room... plus it has heated up tremendously in the past week -- so of course, while I'm not feeling the heat like I used to, it is still 110 in the shade and makes me just want to sit like a lump in my recliner with the air blowing over me!

Plus the new job responsibilities... a changing schedule and normal "life" -- and things have been a bit busy.
* * *

Spent this afternoon with a wonderful, dear friend, who has discovered the joy and magic of theatre and acting ~ and we had a really good talk about passion, balance, choice and perspective at Starbucks over a course of 3 hours.  It was awesome!

An added bonus... I was turned away from the door when she came in -- I'd arrived about 10 minutes earlier, had our seats picked out and was putting my goodies in my iced Americano -- I turned around and she had not realized I was there already and thought she was there first and was looking for a table.  When I turned around her face was just lit up with surprise and love and pleasure for me.  She made me cry with compliments -- and that is how close to the surface I've been all day. Incredibly thankful and blessed.
* * *

I didn't walk this week because of the unknown schedule, but I think that will even out a little and I'm planning to add a third day in.  So far my buddy and I have been walking 3.1 miles 2X a week -- which takes just about an hour.  My 3rd day to add I'll keep to about 30-45 minutes, I think -- and we may be taking it inside the mall until the weather cools down -- we'll see.
* * *

I'm feeling good right now. So Grateful for my step-father, my mother, my dad, and my husband... along with my buddies on Facebook who are so supportive of my efforts of losing weight and just so encouraging... along with my wonderful lovely quartet friends, and of course, my Sweet Adeline friends.  I can't wait to see a bunch of them in August and perhaps have more than one of them not recognize me in my new skin.

I know I have to remember this elation now and forever, as once maintenance hits and there aren't any more accolades about how fantastic it is that I've been able to do so well (etc...), I'll need to keep myself motivated and remember these happy, glad and joyful feelings... and that it is ALL part of the journey... even when this is no longer new.

I'm not doing it for the compliments. I'm doing it for the life I want to live. To sing better. To have energy. To be reasonably fit. To meet others who have healthy goals and habits. For the Health of it!

Day 167

Walked 3.17 miles this morning... YAY!

Happy 13th Anniversary to me and himself ♥

74 lbs down!

A re-evaluation of my goal weight reveals that realistically, 167 as a goal is too little. Without any fat - just lean muscle, bones & organs, I weigh 145. The Body Scan at Medifast says to be in the "normal" range -- I only have 74.9 lbs to go... which means... I'm halfway there!

WOOT!!

Day 152 ~ the day after my first 5K walk...! and 70 Lbs GONE

Yay ... I did it... I was absolutely dead last, but YAY ME!!!

On Saturday it was the 5 month anniversary of being on Medifast -- I was at the MF Clinic and have lost 70 lbs and 90.75 inches. My bp was 124/71... no meds. WOOT!!  Since last month when I was measured, I've lost 4 inches around my waist... I think another contributing factor to that great loss is the fact that I'm wearing a 2X pretty comfortably in tops now (WOOT WOOT!) and 1X 18/20 on the bottoms.  I even bought a pair of shorts that are a size 20 -- and they're 93% cotton and 3% stretchy, but they ZIP and they SNAP!! 

No, still not going to be tucking anything in anytime soon... but a size 2X top over them works well!

I've put my progress picture front-side on Facebook, and will get to the side views etc... for the progress page as soon as I can.  Here, however, is me and my escort at the finish line of the 5K from last night (my time was 1:12).

It was 102 yesterday, I had on my neck-cool thing, drank 3 bottles of water before, during and after, and hopped in the (still quite cold) pool at home for about 15 minutes to seriously cool down.  Today I'm feeling like I did something yesterday, but feel good.  Re-hydrating a lot... my lips feel dry!

I also had the craft class yesterday... and my buddy and I did IKEA in under 40 minutes!! WOOT  WOOT!! I know that the lack of the Lean & Green before walking, the fact that I woke up at 4:27am and drove 4 hours, then spent time teaching crafts, and then, finally... getting to the walk had something to do with my energy levels ... (ya think?!) *LOL*

See the flower? that's gonna be a theme for my 5K walk/run/walk experience(s)....

Day 124 ~ How Am I Doing It Exactly....?

I received a text message this morning from a dear friend asking me how I have lost all this weight... today I weighed in (on my scale) at 269.  That is 61 lbs gone! This week I've walked only 3.5 miles... compared to last week's 10+ miles that is not so hot... this morning's walk was 2.28 miles in 47 minutes ~ and I felt great! What was supposed to be a 2-day break became a 5 days in 7 break. I want to be careful not to let this happen again.  My goal is to walk a 15 - 17 minute mile, getting 3 miles in under 50 minutes.

But back to my friend's question: How I've lost the weight.  She doesn't live in North America... but I sent her the Medifast Quick Start Guide, which is an excellent overview with details of what leans and greens are allowed.

I eat 5 MediFast Meal Replacements a day. Sometimes I have an extra shake, or an extra bar. It depends on the day. I'm a lot less hungry now than I was when I started 4 months ago.

I drink 64+ ounces of water a day.  I try to get 32 oz in before I eat my MF breakfast.

I incorporate 5 TB of ground flaxseeds in my diet almost every day.  At least 1 TB every day (delicious in the MF Oatmeal AND it totally helps to thicken it up!)

I have an "Optional" snack just about every day... either celery with peanut butter, a pickle slice (or two), MF Soy Parmesan mini rice cake things, or MF crackers with Laughing Cow or WW cheese triangles.  Some days I have one or two string cheeses in addition to the snack. 

April was a big old plateau month... I wasn't exercising, and now with the walking, the scale has started moving back down.

I know I have more condiments than I should. As I get closer to my goal weight, this will probably have to change. Right now I have about 1 1/2 TB of half-n-half in my coffee, with 1 1/2 tsp of sugar free chocolate syrup (Torani). I don't measure or really count the olive oil I put on my veggies before roasting... I saw on Jamie Oliver's show to 'count to 2' while pouring Olive Oil... that works for me. And I don't always use it up. The only spices I'm concerned with are the ones that have a high sodium content... and of course, salt itself.

That is a beginning of how I'm doing it... I've not updated the food log page in ages, but it does give a pretty detailed description of what I was eating and when for the first 3 months.

* * *
245 lbs will be my halfway point. That is 24 lbs away. Seriously, can't remember being that weight... it sounds really bizarre, but the last weight I remember is 282 (passed that mark!), and before that... 155!! I must've been really unconscious for a long time gaining that much weight :-(

* * *
Yesterday I finally bought new trousers! Size 1X (18-20W). They are stretchy knit elastic-waist pants from Catherines... nothing binding... and they're just a titch tighter than I like... but I figure they need to last for another 3 months! I have a pair of 2X capris that don't fit yet -- they're linen-like and not stretchy... and while I can put them on.... I wouldn't wear them out in public, afraid I'd split them somewhere embarrassing if I moved too much *ha!* 

In other words, I know I'm not really a size 18-20 yet, but going down to the 1X is a BIG FAT HAIRY DEAL for me right now!! *Happy Dancin' Here!!* 

* * *
This week has been hell emotionally. I did a stupid thing, and made a mistake. I own it. I did it. I'm horribly sorry and contrite. I shouldn't have done what I did at the time I did it, and I could have done it differently. 


The week has been a horrible, sad, depressing gray week of feeling terrible about something I cannot fix or change, as it was my own deed that put me there.

Being human and not perfect ~ it really is a sucky sucky thing sometimes.  I hardly slept this week, and that was one reason I wasn't able to get up early enough to get a walk in. I hope that time will be the healer it has the reputation for, and now that I've forgiven myself for being human and making a mistake, that I will be forgiven.

But I didn't eat off plan, and I didn't overeat. I'm still losing weight. And that is still my first priority.
* * *

Day 117 ~ 1.51 miles walked, another pound down!

Longgggg day yesterday... busy weekend ahead!  I slept in this morning until 7:30 and got out with the dog around 7:55.  I took a very leisurely walk this morning, and got back home at 8:25.  My back hurts -- but it was a gorgeous morning -- kinda windy, but not yet a hot hot wind... but it was warm.

I'm wearing clothes that have been in my closet for years, unworn because they were so ill-fitting. I have on a men's (large men's store) t-shirt, and a pair of old black pants that probably have holes in the crotch/rear end (!) but no one can tell because they're so LOOSE!! Whooo-Hooooo!!

I didn't really FEEL like walking this morning, but felt good about the fact I was doing it anyway.  Huge for me.

Lots of allergens floating around outside, and I've got that constant 'I'm gonna sneeze' feeling goin' on. bleh.
* * *

I ♥ Medifast. Just sayin'.  I had an extra MF meal last night, with an extra piece of string cheese... dinner last night was a can of tuna mixed with probably a 3/4 C mixture of non-fat and no-salt-added cottage cheese, on top of a bit of raw cabbage & baby spinach, and some roasted kale and baby asparagus (with some olive oil and salt, and TJ's '21-gun-salute' no-salt spice mix... my current new favorite thing).  Mixed it all together and it was very very good!! Thinking the tuna and cottage cheese will be the new tuna and mayonnaise!! :D

I had all bars (5), Parmesan puffs, the white cheddar mini rice cake things, plus the string cheese... all my water, and a large cup of coffee with cream and sugar free chocolate torani syrup in the morning.

Day 116 = A New LOW Number on the scale!!

YAY YAY YAY!!!

April has been the land of the same 4 lbs going up and down, up and down, U P and D O W N... just about driving me crazy!

I started walking this week... since last Friday I've walked 9.06 miles -- YAY ME!! :D

The endorphins make such a difference... I'm also saying a positive affirmation before I go to sleep every night, about how I love waking up early and working up a sweat in the morning... with joy and gratitude, etc... and the last thought I have before going to sleep is a conscious thought ... *I WANT to be fit, I WANT to get up early and welcome the sunrise... I want to get a jump start on my day and be happy and glad about it.*

Cuz really, it is just about changing our mind.

So much easier said than done.
* * *

I had a shift in understanding... I've said, I've read, I've known, I've understood... that putting fitness and exercise, if we really want to change, HAS to be the first priority... above social, above housework... for me it means fitness above chorus and quartet fun and those goals.  If I don't have my health, I won't be able to have the energy and stamina for someday directing a chorus, winning regional quartet contest, learning to arrange music in the barbershop (a cappella - 4-part) style, let alone just standing on the risers for 3 1/2 hours once a week (!).

Somewhere in my molecules, at a core level, I finally reached the point of heart understanding.  You know how sometimes you *know* something, and you understand the concept... your brain totally gets it. But it can be a long, difficult, arduous journey for that thought or concept to travel to your heart... where you 'get it.'

It is sort of a subtle change, I also refer to this as the switch being flipped... something in the inner core of my being changes significantly... and I think it is a direct result of "putting the right thoughts in the right bucket enough times," for that balance of buckets to change... which is what leads me to say it is as simple as changing your mind. But changing our mind is certainly not EASY.  Simple does NOT equal easy. Really and Truly making a change in our life is so very very hard... STAYING and KEEPING UP the changes is hard too. 
* * *

So, I was reminded at my Medifast clinic visit on Wednesday that I'm not supposed to exercise more than 45 minutes per day.  So... walk-running a half-marathon is out of my reach this year.  I'm pretty sure I can't do 13.1 miles in 45 minutes *laughing hysterically at the thought...*

So, I'm going to still do the Gabe Zimmerman triple crown, but the 5K fun walks instead.  I think I'll be able to get to 3 miles in about 45 minutes... especially if I don't take the dog on every single walk with me... The half-marathon will have to wait until I'm in transition and maintenance of Medifast... which, fingers crossed, will be next March!
* * *

Medifast Clinic Visit on Wednesday, April 27th
So..... I'm down 59.4 lbs in 16 weeks... that is an average of 3.7 lbs per week.

I was actually up .8 lbs from two weeks ago when I weighed in... BUT, my inches lost since the last time I 'd been measured was -26.25 for a total inches loss of 82.75!!

and this morning on my home scale, I am down 3 lbs since yesterday's weighing, and 5 lbs since Monday.

I'm over a third of the way to my goal.
* * *

I bought the MF cookbook this last time, as it is time to come up with some different meals.  I wrote down my L&Gs that I've been eating, and it seems I rotate between 9 different things... so I want to add another 9 or 10 to that number, at least so I can get a pretty good rotation going. 
* * *

Himself is recovering nicely from Gallbladder surgery a week ago Monday. The toughest part so far has been the recovering from the hernia repair... that is the part that the Doc said would take two years for it to be really normal.  They put in a wire mesh thingey, and we don't think it is something that will dissolve, but rather, it will be 'grown around' by his body... so the foreign object is what is taking so long to feel 'normal.'
* * *

My last day at work will be today -- going in to clean up some messes that I've left in my "To Do" files, and to finish up the Office Procedures Manual that I started.  The new gal I think will be a great fit for them, and I hope that this relationship lasts for a long time!
* * *

I've been really really busy with just doing the plan, and have missed blogging more regularly about it.  With my priorities sort of newly aligned, daily blogging may be something that doesn't fit within my daily habits right now... but once some of the other responsibilities I have are done and finished, then I'll stick it back in :-)
* * *

I've not done an April picture, so maybe I'll have himself take some photos later today... and then I'll log the numbers of the inches lost on the progress page as well.
* * *

If you're still reading.. thanks!! And I'm so thankful for anyone who stops by and reads... and I ♥ it when someone takes a couple minutes to just say "hi" and leaves me a comment.... *such a subtle hint, no?* 

Have a great weekend everyone!!