Restart - Part II - The Sequel

Today is it.  I took pictures... downloaded the C25K app and am feeling ready.

When I was saving the photos to the file, I saw that last year, on July 29 I took pictures for a restart... to juice.  I've gained 18 pounds since last July... which, considering how many pounds I've gained back *in total* - I feel not so bad about.

I'm essentially 20 pounds away from the 338 that I started with at Medifast on January 4th, 2011.
I didn't weigh this morning - but a few days ago I weighed in at 319.  This last 9 pounds since the last time I weighed have stopped me from being able to sing a phrase without being out of breath. 

So I begin today.

So far:
hot water with 1/2 freshly squeezed lemon, stevia
a protein bar
water
Juice (2 glasses by 2:30pm): 1-1/4 green apple, 10 carrots, 1 long cucumber, the last few pieces of celery, the other half of the lemon, and a bunch of mixed super greens.  It makes about 2 mason jars full of juice.
I think I'll have himself's vegetable soup for dinner.

The Couch to 5K program is 8 weeks. I'll start that tomorrow (a Friday) and do it 3 days a week - Monday, Wednesday, Friday and start working out with the bands on other days.  I also want to put in the Tai Chi video and see how I do with that. Lofty Goals!

I like the 8 week thing.  I have a Sweet Adelines singing weekend coming up next weekend in cooler climates ~ which means higher altitudes... It would be great to juice the next 5 - 7 days and get these troublesome 9 lbs off!

Back from Hawaii...

My brain's kinda scrambled with so many thoughts -- (laugh) -- this isn't different than any other day, I guess.

We won the Silver Medal in Honolulu ~ Scottsdale Chorus earned the red ribbon in Sweet Adelines International contest. Ronninge Show Chorus, from Stockholm, Sweden became the very first International Chorus to win the Gold and they were incredible. Really really fabulous, I'm honored to have shared the stage with them. All the competitors, really... they were all there to do their best, and share the love and joy of singing and harmony.  It was incredible.

The second week in Maui was awesome. We rented a fabulous condo right on the water at Ma'alaea Bay (pictures still being sorted through and downloaded), and had a lovely time just hangin'.

I have a new position within my company, and am happy happy about that. I have some decisions to make about my chorus future ~ and have been praying and talking and thinking and trying to be a grown up and it is difficult. Tucson Desert Harmony chorus will be competing at International in Baltimore next year in the Harmony Classic, and I've paid for my All Events Ticket already. Not sure what next year will look like with my new hours and days off... so *Watch This Space* as they say.

Besides Singing...

Running.

I want to start walking/jogging a la Jeff Galloway. "Run injury free with Jeff Galloway" is his focus, and that is where I want to start. Have to get back to walking again first.

Eating Healthy/ Juicing / Plant-based (Nutritarian a la Dr. Joel Furhman)

Sort of have been not following closely the juicing/veggie focused way of eating, and gained back the 10 pounds I lost.  Hard to lose over the holidays, but I'm committed.

Simplifying.

This is the year. That is all.

Maui Sunset. Last Week. Already planning our second trip back...

Tucson Marathon - Dec 9

Planning to walk the 13.1 half-marathon.

Intimidated just thinking about squeezing in 45 minutes of walking every day.
 * * *
"If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place."
Author, Nora Roberts

Day 363 of Medifast - Happy 2012

New Year has always been hard for me... How did I do? What do I want to do? The whip comes out and it is a week before and after the first day of a New Year that I punish myself repeatedly over all the things from which I fell short. Painful.

Yesterday was no exception. I went to church - (YAY!! A good start to a new year!!) and had a lovely lunch at one of my favorite local restaurants, The Blue Willow (where, as it turns out, was about the only place I did any Christmas Shopping for this year) - with my good friend T, and had a delicious Mushroom, Spinach & Cheese omelet with sauteed veggies on the side... seriously yummy!! After that, I had time to myself, and the swirling little nags that whisper in my ear began.

There's been a choice I've been thinking about making... thinking for a long long while... about a road that I've been debating turning down... that absolutely would disrupt my life completely -- and yesterday, after being able to vent and talk a little about it to my other good friend; and some more time spent in thought and debate inside my own head this morning... when I finally prayed about it this morning as I was drinking coffee and eating my MF Brownie outside in the gorgeous sunshine -- and in probably one of the fastest answers to a prayer I've ever had ...I have, I think, finally internalized the gratitude attitude that is essential in keeping those of us prone to the trenches of depression, OUT of that downward spiraling rut...  and that serving others is what we are created for.

Making drastic changes externally doesn't change the inner voices and thoughts -- I'm still the same person regardless of my surroundings... to change our thoughts... that takes a discipline that I know exists, but as of yet I've not been able to be consistent with achieving. Disrupting my life wouldn't make it easier... it would just be another distraction to take me off the painful truth I have to face in my own self.  I'm not saying I'm a bad person... just that it is difficult to acknowledge places where I lack, and that my anger toward others is  because I see in them something I hate about myself.

Love myself = Love others.

I Am Enough... They Are Enough.

Judging Others really means I'm Judging Myself... and no one here on earth has any right to judge me, even me!

I think... no, I know (!)... my focus has been off. I've been incredibly selfish in my thoughts and actions this year -- some might say it was required in order to stay on the Medifast Path. I have 48 pounds to go. To be more honest - I weighed in at 236.2 this morning.  234.6 is the weight on my scale that needs to show 100 pounds lost. So as of today, I really have 50 more pounds to lose. I go up to MF this Saturday, the 7th... so I have this week to focus on losing those two pounds, and if I do some exercise (which I did *not* do early this morning - but the day isn't over yet), perhaps I could be down 1 more pound.

Well... Tuesday will be a year of Medifast, and the reasons I overeat are still here. I still feel the emotional pain, the anger that I quell with sugar (it may be dark chocolate now, but it is still not the healthiest way to deal with discomfort and/or anger) and the constant frustration at not being enough. But as I said in the previous post. Enough is Enough.  And I AM Enough.

It is Now Time to approach myself without judgement... and to focus on doing what I can to lighten a burden, and make someone else's journey that much more pleasant. 

* * *

3rd FB Post of 2012: Focus

Less Time on Facebook... More Time reconnecting.
[i.e., set the timer and stop when timer goes off - make a phone call, create a card and write a real note!]

Less Time feeling bad over all the things I've not done or accomplished... More Time acknowledging efforts made and awareness of success (even small successes like remembering to set the 15 minute timer for an unpleasant chore).
[Get back to writing in a journal/blogging on a daily basis with daily gratitude]

More Water... Less Coffee (more herbal tea).
[32 oz water before leaving the house for the day... makes 64 oz a day much easier!]

More Focus on others... Less Focus on *me me me* (could use some prayers and positive thoughts on this one... it is a challenge for this only child ;-).
[Meaning for 2012 I think is "what can I do today that will make someone else's day easier/better/cheerier/more blessed/more fun/positive?"]

More Walking... Less Sitting
[There are 23 - 1/2 hours to sleep and work and do the other things... 30 minutes every day of walking is a priority]

More Prayer... Less Mindless Television (Ummmm.... Downton Abbey is not mindless... right? ;-)
[Self-explanatory]

Day 209

What an icky week last week!

Yesterday was MF weigh in day... and I was up 2lbs from the last weigh in ~ still down 86 lbs, however.  On my scale at home in the two weeks between MF weigh ins I was 253 to 247; then I was up two lbs on Saturday morning... after being very careful about what I ate on Friday... I was extremely good, in other words! Then, when I stepped on my scale yesterday morning, I was up 2 flippin' lbs.... So yesterday... I wasn't careful... I had TWO of the really yummy MF bars (Caramel Nut Maintenance Bars with 22 g of carbs each), probably two soy snacks, one bag of the new "Cheese Pizza" Flavored snack meals, and 3 regular bars... with grilled chicken w/ non-fat cheese on a bed of spinach for dinner.  I had one piece of pepperoni picked off a friend's pizza (which I knew wouldn't hurt)... I had a ton of carbonated 'free' water ( http://www.lacroixwater.com ) and didn't have my vitamins. I didn't exercise on Thursday (more on why in a minute).

And today....? DOWN 2 lbs (!?!)

Another lesson on not watching the scales, I suppose... :D

Actually, I'm not really upset, angry or even that frustrated.  Mystified, perhaps *wink wink.* I'm a little frustrated with some other things going on, but the weight loss and my efforts  here are fine.  86 lbs in 30 weeks...not bad!! I'm feeling the trousers I bought not that long ago getting much looser, and clothes that friends are donating to my cause are fitting!  I'm putting some much-loved-and-recently-purchased tops in a bag to donate and give away... so I know I'm still on the right track!!

I do want to hit that 100 lbs in time for the Rockin' Party I'm planning on October 15... so I need to re-focus my energy and efforts and commitment to health each and every day.  Sometimes I let the other stuff take precedence....  For Example:

Chorus ~
Next weekend (August 5th) is the Double Quartet Contest for Region 21 during "Camp Agave" ~ our Summer Educational Seminar weekend in Tempe.  Renee Porzel, Sweet Adeline extraordinaire Showmanship judge, choreographer and Assistant Director to the amazing Melodeers Chorus in the Chicago area is coming to share with us her talents and insights regarding thinking outside the box for character, movement and energy on the risers.  Of course, I'm just as if not more excited about participating/competing the Double Quartet Contest... The group I 'm singing with are all dynamos and really talented (including my own quartet members)... and we're sounding really good.

I'm not sure if we're truly "Golden Banana" worthy... knowing my good friend is working with two other DQs in the Phoenix area and what talent (funny stuff) they're capable of gives me my doubts, but we'll sure be ringing some chords, and THAT is so much fun in and of itself.

That being said, last year's contest seemed to have made some changes to the 'good singing' aspect of the contest... it isn't just about being funny... the most entertaining is the criteria --- and to be entertaining you need to sing pretty darn good!

So... extra rehearsals for DQ have been in my life the past couple of weeks... Regular QT rehearsals and stuff that goes on there... Chorus Rehearsals... Chorus Board Meetings... Chorus Music Team Meetings... and then there's the Show Committee of which I'm a part... Meetings for that... along with things I'm supposed to be doing (I'm doing the program layout, and tickets). I've even dropped some responsibilities, believe it or not!  I'm in charge of putting stuff on the Chorus Website (just a bit longer on that one, as a new web-based communication tool is in the works).

SIDENOTE: As I'm writing today, I'm sitting in the living room easy-couch, hubby is watching TV, and I've got my earphones on, listening to classical music... Mozart, to be specific.  If it has words, I'm easily distracted, so non-word music is best for me when I'm trying to do anything that requires creativity... otherwise I start typing the words I'm hearing in the song.  But right now, the Trio from Cosi Fan Tutte is playing, "Soave sia il vento" -- and reminds me of the time in college when we did scenes from Cosi, and the singing Trio is one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. In college we did it in English, and I sang the Mezzo (harmony), and the translation words are really beautiful ~ we ended up singing it for a wedding. Opera: Much more fun to sing than you'd think ;-)  AND -- Mozart's comic operas are a great way to start!

Back to regular blogging:

Other things going on:
Moving of my Craft/Music Studio... still very much in progress.  I'm deeply overwhelmed, at least I was yesterday. Today is better.  Hubby and I were supposed to be going out at 10am to go fishing... it is 10:20 am, I'm dressed and teeth brushed, he's still very much watching mindless tv.  Not sure what we'll do. Normally I'm not in the house on a Sunday, so I hope to do a little more moving of things, or crafting today.  Catching up with a super long blog post (long overdue!) is certainly a good thing :-)

Future Plans:
100 lb party!! I wanted to do something to commemorate this significant milestone ~ something creative with a gathering of people... and himself came up with a great idea! We'll have guests bring X lbs of food (number of guests X number of lbs to = 100 lbs) and we'll load me up with 100 lbs of food, take some pictures, then donate the food to the Tucson Community Food Bank. Cool Idea, dontcha think? :D

So... 14 lbs to go until I've lost 100 lbs.  WOWZA!!!!  Can we say Happy Dancin' Here?!?!?!

Himself also expressed interest in doing MediFast... we need to talk about it some more, and our new treadmill arrived and is set up in the eating area facing the tv -- it has a built in fan & speakers, with a plug for the mp3 player -- and so yay! He has plans to walk 15 minutes in the am, 30 minutes in the pm, building up to eventually an hour 1/2 a day (I think that was his plan).

Work:
Three weeks at the new position... had to do a lot of time on the phones this last week, as lots of our team were out.  I ended up going home early on Wednesday as I felt really shaky, sort of dizzy, and had a weird upper stomach (diaphram-ish area) cramping going on. I think I had too many aspartame mints the day before (was VERY hungry on Tuesday and didn't bring enough water with lemon), and plus it was day one of Girl Week, and I'd not slept very well... all things combined to make me feel just awful.  I came home and slept from 9am until 2pm... then sat around and watched tv and did nothing. Felt ooky... that sort of hollow, empty feeling after you've been sick and are feeling better, but still kind of vacant...? Thursday was 98% improved, and by Friday I was good.

Our team is hopefully having a great weekend and we'll make goal for the month.  We're really really really close!!! The new team manager (whom I work with and report to) is really a good, fair and objective guy, and I think it is showing in the team by our better numbers.

IF (when) we make goal, I promised to make my CONTEST-WINNING lasagna.  Thursday was National Lasagna day (really? July is the month they choose to have a national Lasagna Day??!?!), so the Call Center put up a sign-up sheet to have a "Best Lasagna" contest... my recipe comes from my Aunt Marilyn, and my mom's been making it and receiving loads of compliments since I can remember... so I signed up! I made it in Scotland and people loved it, so I figured it was worth a try... and IT WON!!! WOOT WOOT!!! $25 gift-certificate to the Olive Garden was the prize, which I'm donating to the Chorus Raffle Basket for the Show in November "Flavors of the World" -- yay!!


So... hope anyone who comes over to read is feeling a little caught up on my life! It has been a bit of a ramble through my brain, and hope it mostly makes sense ;-)

I'm still trying VERY hard to remember to think about exercise differently... to make fitness and health challenges met and overcome as rewarding as seeing the scale move down!

Seriously... I need to start working out with the resistance bands in August for my arms. The arm wings are really gross.

We've talked about joining a gym (I really want a pool, and lean toward the YMCA that isn't far away), since himself's work won't be helping to pay for any more home exercise equipment, but they'll contribute to a gym membership.

Day 184 ~ Dog Days o f Summer... is it Cooler Yet?!

Well... I've not walked in two weeks and I really am missing it.  My work schedule is a bit varied: Mon/Thur 9am to 5:30 pm; Tue/Wed 6am to 2:30pm; and Fri 7am to 3:30pm... (!!)  I need to be walking at 5am rather than 6am in order to have enough time to get all the stuff done that I want to get done in the morning as well as walking, and I've not been 'like clockwork' in my rising habits.

That needs to change NOW.

I was up at 5am this morning (in bed by 11pm) as a friend is coming over to help me talk through what my craft/music studio/room set up needs to be.  My house is in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome -- from FLYlady) and so before she gets here I wanted to at least get the first layer of dog hair and dust cleaned up... and looky here, I'm blogging ;-) Can we say PRO-CRAS-TIN-ATE?!?! *lol*

I will vacuum and dust when this is done... the new craft room is coming along --- but right now it is in that 'in between' time where there is just stuff everywhere, and no place to put it. Overwhelming is just the first word to describe it.  Having someone to help me talk through what I need has helped tremendously in the past... and this friend is a 'do-er' -- she is a 'get 'er done gal' and extremely practical, so while I'm not as prepared for her visit as I was hoping to be, I think today will be a productive day and see results!
* * *

Eating wise I had a not-so-hot week... stayed the same because I wasn't getting up early enough to make decent dinners... not walking and just kind of eating on the fly. Because Medifast is a program that is so convenient, I have to keep up and maintain the good habits I'm learning forever... I let the health/weight loss priority slip and come up to number 3 or 4 at times this past week, and it shows on the scale.

Last night I finally cooked a real dinner (grilled chicken with my normal salad.. which is delicious!), but went overboard with the grilled veggies and spinach/romaine combination.  I hadn't cooked or fixed a lean and green all week... I was eating celery with TJs Almond Butter w/ Flax Seeds (this stuff is awesome), I picked up some really good seasoned roast beef from TJs, with some string cheese, and with the celery ate that one night... I think one night I had tuna/cottage cheese on my spinach/romaine combo, which was good... but most nights this week I just ate an extra one or two MF meals and that was it.  Not Good!!
* * *

I was out three nights with chorus stuff, and this month is gonna be chock-full again... a really fun weekend in August is coming up, but it requires extra rehearsals with a small group... and trying to get 8 busy women together is incredibly challenging.

I feel a little as if I'm doing 3 steps forward, 2 steps back.... 2 steps forward.... no movement.... 1 step back.... staying focused when there are so many things that distract me is certainly challenging.  I have to remind myself that I won't be able to do all those other things if I don't change my lifestyle... and the success I've had so far kind of lulls me into a sense of complacency.  I still have 50+ lbs to lose, but am feeling so incredibly good that perhaps I've lost a bit of momentum...?

I've let go of a few responsibilities, but now have new responsibilities at work, which I am enjoying right now... early days yet, but I really like my new manager (he has an extremely dry sense of humor, which reminds me of my uncle and lots of family :-), and being more of a coach and cheerleader for a new team seems to be working.

Rambling... that is what this post is doing... all over the place in my little brain this morning!

Time to stop procrastinating and start running the vaccum, now that it is almost 7am. 

Here's to a week that finds me back with the right focus and priorities!

Day 177 ~ 80 lbs DOWN!!!

Wow.

I can't believe I've come this far. I have to try on clothes now to see if they're going to fit -- whereas I just guessed before because it really didn't matter.  Big and loose was my criteria -- now I have to worry about what it actually fits like.

Shopping is becoming fun again... it has been A LONG time since I enjoyed going clothes shopping.  I still can't buy a lot, because I don't know what the final number/size will be ~ but there are certain things I can get that don't really matter -- things with drawstrings around the waist, for instance.
* * *

I finished the first week of work with my NEW PROMOTION!! WOOT!!! I think I'm gonna like it here.... I'm plagued with the normal self-doubts and general lack-of-knowledge and there are a lot more numbers than I anticipated (keeping track of agents' stats - CPH, APH, PROD, Efficiency, Testable, Show Rate....). 

Thursday, one of my new team members brought in 5 pans of home-made German Chocolate Frosted Brownies.... (?!?)  and gave me one of the pans.... OMG!!!

But, guess what? I wasn't even really tempted.  I was curious as to what they tasted like, but they did have huge chunky walnuts (not a fan of chunky walnuts... more of a pecan/almond/cashew/pistachio/peanut fan), so wasn't overly curious.  When I dished up a big plate for himself, I managed to sneak 1/4-of a fingernail taste of the frosting and it was TOO SWEET!! Hallelujah!!
* * *

Chorus and quartet have been really really busy... show planning for the chorus (November 12 is the date), singing gigs for the quartet ($$), and trying to get my craft room moved into the new room... plus it has heated up tremendously in the past week -- so of course, while I'm not feeling the heat like I used to, it is still 110 in the shade and makes me just want to sit like a lump in my recliner with the air blowing over me!

Plus the new job responsibilities... a changing schedule and normal "life" -- and things have been a bit busy.
* * *

Spent this afternoon with a wonderful, dear friend, who has discovered the joy and magic of theatre and acting ~ and we had a really good talk about passion, balance, choice and perspective at Starbucks over a course of 3 hours.  It was awesome!

An added bonus... I was turned away from the door when she came in -- I'd arrived about 10 minutes earlier, had our seats picked out and was putting my goodies in my iced Americano -- I turned around and she had not realized I was there already and thought she was there first and was looking for a table.  When I turned around her face was just lit up with surprise and love and pleasure for me.  She made me cry with compliments -- and that is how close to the surface I've been all day. Incredibly thankful and blessed.
* * *

I didn't walk this week because of the unknown schedule, but I think that will even out a little and I'm planning to add a third day in.  So far my buddy and I have been walking 3.1 miles 2X a week -- which takes just about an hour.  My 3rd day to add I'll keep to about 30-45 minutes, I think -- and we may be taking it inside the mall until the weather cools down -- we'll see.
* * *

I'm feeling good right now. So Grateful for my step-father, my mother, my dad, and my husband... along with my buddies on Facebook who are so supportive of my efforts of losing weight and just so encouraging... along with my wonderful lovely quartet friends, and of course, my Sweet Adeline friends.  I can't wait to see a bunch of them in August and perhaps have more than one of them not recognize me in my new skin.

I know I have to remember this elation now and forever, as once maintenance hits and there aren't any more accolades about how fantastic it is that I've been able to do so well (etc...), I'll need to keep myself motivated and remember these happy, glad and joyful feelings... and that it is ALL part of the journey... even when this is no longer new.

I'm not doing it for the compliments. I'm doing it for the life I want to live. To sing better. To have energy. To be reasonably fit. To meet others who have healthy goals and habits. For the Health of it!

Day 152 ~ the day after my first 5K walk...! and 70 Lbs GONE

Yay ... I did it... I was absolutely dead last, but YAY ME!!!

On Saturday it was the 5 month anniversary of being on Medifast -- I was at the MF Clinic and have lost 70 lbs and 90.75 inches. My bp was 124/71... no meds. WOOT!!  Since last month when I was measured, I've lost 4 inches around my waist... I think another contributing factor to that great loss is the fact that I'm wearing a 2X pretty comfortably in tops now (WOOT WOOT!) and 1X 18/20 on the bottoms.  I even bought a pair of shorts that are a size 20 -- and they're 93% cotton and 3% stretchy, but they ZIP and they SNAP!! 

No, still not going to be tucking anything in anytime soon... but a size 2X top over them works well!

I've put my progress picture front-side on Facebook, and will get to the side views etc... for the progress page as soon as I can.  Here, however, is me and my escort at the finish line of the 5K from last night (my time was 1:12).

It was 102 yesterday, I had on my neck-cool thing, drank 3 bottles of water before, during and after, and hopped in the (still quite cold) pool at home for about 15 minutes to seriously cool down.  Today I'm feeling like I did something yesterday, but feel good.  Re-hydrating a lot... my lips feel dry!

I also had the craft class yesterday... and my buddy and I did IKEA in under 40 minutes!! WOOT  WOOT!! I know that the lack of the Lean & Green before walking, the fact that I woke up at 4:27am and drove 4 hours, then spent time teaching crafts, and then, finally... getting to the walk had something to do with my energy levels ... (ya think?!) *LOL*

See the flower? that's gonna be a theme for my 5K walk/run/walk experience(s)....

Day 124 ~ How Am I Doing It Exactly....?

I received a text message this morning from a dear friend asking me how I have lost all this weight... today I weighed in (on my scale) at 269.  That is 61 lbs gone! This week I've walked only 3.5 miles... compared to last week's 10+ miles that is not so hot... this morning's walk was 2.28 miles in 47 minutes ~ and I felt great! What was supposed to be a 2-day break became a 5 days in 7 break. I want to be careful not to let this happen again.  My goal is to walk a 15 - 17 minute mile, getting 3 miles in under 50 minutes.

But back to my friend's question: How I've lost the weight.  She doesn't live in North America... but I sent her the Medifast Quick Start Guide, which is an excellent overview with details of what leans and greens are allowed.

I eat 5 MediFast Meal Replacements a day. Sometimes I have an extra shake, or an extra bar. It depends on the day. I'm a lot less hungry now than I was when I started 4 months ago.

I drink 64+ ounces of water a day.  I try to get 32 oz in before I eat my MF breakfast.

I incorporate 5 TB of ground flaxseeds in my diet almost every day.  At least 1 TB every day (delicious in the MF Oatmeal AND it totally helps to thicken it up!)

I have an "Optional" snack just about every day... either celery with peanut butter, a pickle slice (or two), MF Soy Parmesan mini rice cake things, or MF crackers with Laughing Cow or WW cheese triangles.  Some days I have one or two string cheeses in addition to the snack. 

April was a big old plateau month... I wasn't exercising, and now with the walking, the scale has started moving back down.

I know I have more condiments than I should. As I get closer to my goal weight, this will probably have to change. Right now I have about 1 1/2 TB of half-n-half in my coffee, with 1 1/2 tsp of sugar free chocolate syrup (Torani). I don't measure or really count the olive oil I put on my veggies before roasting... I saw on Jamie Oliver's show to 'count to 2' while pouring Olive Oil... that works for me. And I don't always use it up. The only spices I'm concerned with are the ones that have a high sodium content... and of course, salt itself.

That is a beginning of how I'm doing it... I've not updated the food log page in ages, but it does give a pretty detailed description of what I was eating and when for the first 3 months.

* * *
245 lbs will be my halfway point. That is 24 lbs away. Seriously, can't remember being that weight... it sounds really bizarre, but the last weight I remember is 282 (passed that mark!), and before that... 155!! I must've been really unconscious for a long time gaining that much weight :-(

* * *
Yesterday I finally bought new trousers! Size 1X (18-20W). They are stretchy knit elastic-waist pants from Catherines... nothing binding... and they're just a titch tighter than I like... but I figure they need to last for another 3 months! I have a pair of 2X capris that don't fit yet -- they're linen-like and not stretchy... and while I can put them on.... I wouldn't wear them out in public, afraid I'd split them somewhere embarrassing if I moved too much *ha!* 

In other words, I know I'm not really a size 18-20 yet, but going down to the 1X is a BIG FAT HAIRY DEAL for me right now!! *Happy Dancin' Here!!* 

* * *
This week has been hell emotionally. I did a stupid thing, and made a mistake. I own it. I did it. I'm horribly sorry and contrite. I shouldn't have done what I did at the time I did it, and I could have done it differently. 


The week has been a horrible, sad, depressing gray week of feeling terrible about something I cannot fix or change, as it was my own deed that put me there.

Being human and not perfect ~ it really is a sucky sucky thing sometimes.  I hardly slept this week, and that was one reason I wasn't able to get up early enough to get a walk in. I hope that time will be the healer it has the reputation for, and now that I've forgiven myself for being human and making a mistake, that I will be forgiven.

But I didn't eat off plan, and I didn't overeat. I'm still losing weight. And that is still my first priority.
* * *

Day 117 ~ 1.51 miles walked, another pound down!

Longgggg day yesterday... busy weekend ahead!  I slept in this morning until 7:30 and got out with the dog around 7:55.  I took a very leisurely walk this morning, and got back home at 8:25.  My back hurts -- but it was a gorgeous morning -- kinda windy, but not yet a hot hot wind... but it was warm.

I'm wearing clothes that have been in my closet for years, unworn because they were so ill-fitting. I have on a men's (large men's store) t-shirt, and a pair of old black pants that probably have holes in the crotch/rear end (!) but no one can tell because they're so LOOSE!! Whooo-Hooooo!!

I didn't really FEEL like walking this morning, but felt good about the fact I was doing it anyway.  Huge for me.

Lots of allergens floating around outside, and I've got that constant 'I'm gonna sneeze' feeling goin' on. bleh.
* * *

I ♥ Medifast. Just sayin'.  I had an extra MF meal last night, with an extra piece of string cheese... dinner last night was a can of tuna mixed with probably a 3/4 C mixture of non-fat and no-salt-added cottage cheese, on top of a bit of raw cabbage & baby spinach, and some roasted kale and baby asparagus (with some olive oil and salt, and TJ's '21-gun-salute' no-salt spice mix... my current new favorite thing).  Mixed it all together and it was very very good!! Thinking the tuna and cottage cheese will be the new tuna and mayonnaise!! :D

I had all bars (5), Parmesan puffs, the white cheddar mini rice cake things, plus the string cheese... all my water, and a large cup of coffee with cream and sugar free chocolate torani syrup in the morning.

Day 116 = A New LOW Number on the scale!!

YAY YAY YAY!!!

April has been the land of the same 4 lbs going up and down, up and down, U P and D O W N... just about driving me crazy!

I started walking this week... since last Friday I've walked 9.06 miles -- YAY ME!! :D

The endorphins make such a difference... I'm also saying a positive affirmation before I go to sleep every night, about how I love waking up early and working up a sweat in the morning... with joy and gratitude, etc... and the last thought I have before going to sleep is a conscious thought ... *I WANT to be fit, I WANT to get up early and welcome the sunrise... I want to get a jump start on my day and be happy and glad about it.*

Cuz really, it is just about changing our mind.

So much easier said than done.
* * *

I had a shift in understanding... I've said, I've read, I've known, I've understood... that putting fitness and exercise, if we really want to change, HAS to be the first priority... above social, above housework... for me it means fitness above chorus and quartet fun and those goals.  If I don't have my health, I won't be able to have the energy and stamina for someday directing a chorus, winning regional quartet contest, learning to arrange music in the barbershop (a cappella - 4-part) style, let alone just standing on the risers for 3 1/2 hours once a week (!).

Somewhere in my molecules, at a core level, I finally reached the point of heart understanding.  You know how sometimes you *know* something, and you understand the concept... your brain totally gets it. But it can be a long, difficult, arduous journey for that thought or concept to travel to your heart... where you 'get it.'

It is sort of a subtle change, I also refer to this as the switch being flipped... something in the inner core of my being changes significantly... and I think it is a direct result of "putting the right thoughts in the right bucket enough times," for that balance of buckets to change... which is what leads me to say it is as simple as changing your mind. But changing our mind is certainly not EASY.  Simple does NOT equal easy. Really and Truly making a change in our life is so very very hard... STAYING and KEEPING UP the changes is hard too. 
* * *

So, I was reminded at my Medifast clinic visit on Wednesday that I'm not supposed to exercise more than 45 minutes per day.  So... walk-running a half-marathon is out of my reach this year.  I'm pretty sure I can't do 13.1 miles in 45 minutes *laughing hysterically at the thought...*

So, I'm going to still do the Gabe Zimmerman triple crown, but the 5K fun walks instead.  I think I'll be able to get to 3 miles in about 45 minutes... especially if I don't take the dog on every single walk with me... The half-marathon will have to wait until I'm in transition and maintenance of Medifast... which, fingers crossed, will be next March!
* * *

Medifast Clinic Visit on Wednesday, April 27th
So..... I'm down 59.4 lbs in 16 weeks... that is an average of 3.7 lbs per week.

I was actually up .8 lbs from two weeks ago when I weighed in... BUT, my inches lost since the last time I 'd been measured was -26.25 for a total inches loss of 82.75!!

and this morning on my home scale, I am down 3 lbs since yesterday's weighing, and 5 lbs since Monday.

I'm over a third of the way to my goal.
* * *

I bought the MF cookbook this last time, as it is time to come up with some different meals.  I wrote down my L&Gs that I've been eating, and it seems I rotate between 9 different things... so I want to add another 9 or 10 to that number, at least so I can get a pretty good rotation going. 
* * *

Himself is recovering nicely from Gallbladder surgery a week ago Monday. The toughest part so far has been the recovering from the hernia repair... that is the part that the Doc said would take two years for it to be really normal.  They put in a wire mesh thingey, and we don't think it is something that will dissolve, but rather, it will be 'grown around' by his body... so the foreign object is what is taking so long to feel 'normal.'
* * *

My last day at work will be today -- going in to clean up some messes that I've left in my "To Do" files, and to finish up the Office Procedures Manual that I started.  The new gal I think will be a great fit for them, and I hope that this relationship lasts for a long time!
* * *

I've been really really busy with just doing the plan, and have missed blogging more regularly about it.  With my priorities sort of newly aligned, daily blogging may be something that doesn't fit within my daily habits right now... but once some of the other responsibilities I have are done and finished, then I'll stick it back in :-)
* * *

I've not done an April picture, so maybe I'll have himself take some photos later today... and then I'll log the numbers of the inches lost on the progress page as well.
* * *

If you're still reading.. thanks!! And I'm so thankful for anyone who stops by and reads... and I ♥ it when someone takes a couple minutes to just say "hi" and leaves me a comment.... *such a subtle hint, no?* 

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Day 112 ~ Up A Pound (!)

Urgh.

I walked 1.32 miles on Friday... and 2.88 miles on Saturday...

I got up at 5:15 am this morning to walk, but instead got caught at the computer. Wanted to go in to work and be there by 8am, but it is 7:52 as I write this, and that doesn't look like it is happening.  I have an appointment at 1pm, and then a chorus board meeting tonight... so it looks like my goals went out the window because I chose it that way.

Gandi said ~ "The future depends on what we do in the present."

I have future quartet and chorus goals... but really, my health has to come first or those goals won't matter.

I was so tired last night, I could have gone to sleep at 8pm, but instead I sat with hubby and watched an episode and a half of "Buffy" -- he's been watching the entire series this weekend... a "Buffy The Vampire Slayer FEST" ~ what a waste of time! But still, 9:30 is early for me ;-)

I'll walk the dog tonight.  For Rascal as much as for me!!
* * *

I spent about an hour mapping my neighborhood walks for mileage... and now have a 2.28 mile route, and a 3.13 mile route planned out... just so I can get mileage in without having to get in the car!

Day 109 ~ Time For A Real Reason To Get Up In The Morning

Well... today I've decided to begin to commence to start (*hee hee*) training for a half-marathon in Tucson in December. I'll be mostly walking/jogging (at least, that is what I believe I'll be doing at this point in my weight loss journey) per Jeff Galloway's  "Run Injury Free" methodology ..... he invented the "Galloway RUN-WALK-RUN™, low mileage, three-day marathoner training schedule [with a] ... 98% success rate." And when I'm in better condition to actually start training, I can download ipod sessions with the intervals all worked out for me. I ♥ Technology. (at least, I ♥ it today... it is a love/hate relationship with technology...) 

Just getting up in the morning to exercise hasn't really been pushing the right buttons to actually *get me to bed on time* and *get my you-know-what* out of my comfy-cozy snooze-fest bed. I know I need another reason that is more specific than "to be in better shape" or "to be fit" or "to lose weight faster."  For me, this would be a HUGE change in my life... and I'm committed to making this goal the number one priority (after sticking on the Medifast Diet 5 and 1 plan!!).

So: Tucson's Marathon (which is a Boston Marathon Qualifier, in case anyone wants to know) is Sunday, December 11, 2011. Holy Moly, I just clicked the "Register" button and it costs $70.00! With a Registration Fee of $4.84 and I have to purchase by the end of June.  I guess I'm just in time to put my feet where my mouth is (and have the money follow). 

Because I'm not in any sort of fitness condition to actually begin a training program... the Jeff Galloway site has an 8-week conditioning program -- I'll be just walking for now... I don't want to start jogging until I'm 25 lbs or less away from my goal weight.  As it is now, I'm 3 lbs from the weight limit on the elliptical we still have in the box... which I'm soooo excited to be so close to putting it together!
* * *

Eating: I'm up .8 lbs -- but still down (?!) if that makes any sense. I wrote out my list of "Tried and True" Lean & Green recipes and posted them on the fridge, (there are 9 of them) -- and over the next couple of days plan to try 4 new ones, and then find/try another 10 for a good rotation of meal options. Having the list on the fridge will hopefully help me write out the grocery list and plan a little better.
* * *

I start training with my new job on May 9th ~ I called the company and received confirmation that yes, I've been accepted as a new hire. I'm relieved, excited, kinda bummed about a real schedule that will have to be followed, but ultimately Very Very thankful, grateful and happy to have a larger paycheck in my future.

This was another reason to simplify my "GET UP EARLY AND EXERCISE" goal ~ if I'm working at 8am and it takes me 20+ minutes to get to work... I really need to start getting up at 5am (at the latest) so I can meet my running buddy nearby (i.e., get dressed and in the car), do the workout, get home, walk the dog, get showered and ready for work and leave with plenty of time. Call Center = No Likey Tardy Peeps.
* * *

I feel good today... I've been feeling really crappy the last couple of weeks -- headaches, shoulder aches, despondent thoughts, spirits down, bored with MF (due to my inability to move past the -54 lb mark, I'm sure...), and frustrated with myself and lack of follow-through with the getting up.

I feel like I've turned over a mental leaf.  I know there are people who are out there keeping me in their thoughts and prayers, and rooting for me... and I'm so thankful and grateful for you ♥.

Happy Good Friday...
* * *

Oh Yeah!!!! ~ One More Thing...

I tried on clothes that haven't fit me for awhile last night, hoping I'd have something "new" for Easter Sunday... and a blouse that really didn't fit when mom bought it for me, which I tried on about a month 1/2 ago and still was too snug... is something I think will be perfect for Easter Sunday!! WOOT!!

A favorite skirt that I've kept for ages fit too! Still a little snug around the waist, but it is a pull over/pull on skirt ~ and just being able to slip it over my head AND back off again without dislocating anything was a major feat! I can't wait to shop and find a couple of tops to go with it :-)

Day 99 (!) I'm Back!

Well... not quite two weeks gone, but too long nonetheless.  Sheesh! I almost missed 100 days of Medifast!! Yikes!!

I go to Medifast Clinic tomorrow ~ two weeks ago my blood pressure was 96/48 ~ apparently that is quite low *grins!* I feel absolutely fine.  I was down 14.25 inches since March 2; a total inch loss of 56.5.

Our chorus went to Pasadena, California this past weekend and competed ~ we scored 601 points, which placed us 2nd place overall, and 1st place mid-sized chorus AND created a "Master Director" for our First-Time director! My quartet drove out together, we stayed in a room all together (I've not stayed four in a room in a long long time...), drove back together and still are having a great time.  I'm thrilled!

I haven't been to my doctor yet for blood work, nor have I searched for a new physician. This week. I'll get that started this week.

There is more news, but not quite ready to share with the world yet.

Hubby's Gallbladder and hernia surgery will be Monday ~ and he's been a bit stressed about that... understandably so. I'm glad contest is over and I can put some concentrated focus toward him and the house and what I need to do around here.

Diet-wise I'm good.  I'm a bit bored, but it comes and goes.

My getting up and Getting Exercise Habit has not transpired. *Deep Breath* But I'm not giving up.

Day 75 ~ Second Morning of Walking DVD

My first morning was Thursday -- St. Patrick's day... I'd eaten too much salt the night before and the scale showed a 4 lb increase (!) I thought, "I bet I could sweat some of the extra water retention off if I did some exercise...." and Voila ~ exercising has started!

Last Thursday I put in (for the first time) a  Leslie Sansome Walking DVD -- it is up to 5 miles, but divided so you can do just a mile at a time, if you want. Each "mile" is 12 minutes, which is less than my "You Can Do Anything For 15 Minutes" FlyLady rule!  In other words, it feels totally manageable and not overwhelming!

I felt great after 1 mile, so did the 2nd mile :-)  [and yes, 2 lbs came off after 30 minutes of the DVD!] She 'Bumps Up' the walking with light jogging in place, if you want -- I did a very very little -- probably would be better described as "Gentle Bouncing."  There's some side steps, and some step-touches, and walk up and back four steps... she adds arms about 4 or 5 minutes into it - so, no, it isn't just plain old walking.  But the music has a good beat, and I can go back to just walking in place at any time, which I did this morning.

This morning I was proud of myself that I put the DVD in again at 6:30 am (it took me awhile to get out of bed after the alarms started going off -- I think I got out of bed at 5:40am or something close to that -- went to bed sometime between 11:20 and 11:45 pm).  I only did a mile this morning - my shoulders are both really sore - not sure if was the movement from Thursday or what, but the arms weren't moving all that fast this morning.  My legs also felt a bit heavy for the leg lifts... and a mile with a little stretching afterward was enough for me this morning. After this post I'll be walking the dog for his 20 minutes around the block.
* * *

I got out the ice shaving machine in order to have shaved ice for the MF Soft Serve meal... I picked up a single packet of the peanut butter flavor - I think I have the chocolate right now -- in the summer I usually live on melted cheese on tortilla chips and ice cream -- once in awhile a salad would be thrown in -- nice big Taco Salad (YUM!) or a even yummier - a Frito Salad -- Yum YUM... so I'm gearing up for "Ice Cream" by testing the ice shaving machine and hoping it works after a few years of  non-use wrapped in a plastic bag in the laundry room :-)
* * *

Very Excited that Lyn from Escape from Obesity has posted some of her Tofu Recipes -- can't wait to try them!
* * *

I've been somewhat productive this morning: taking out the kitchen garbage; loading the dishwasher and washing most of the dishes, cleaning up the appliances himself used to make dinner last night (GF Grill & Steamer); folded the little pile of laundry that was mine and put it away; and now blogging.

But I'm still frustrated with the mess that is my room.  I don't want to move into my new room with my old mess... I have visions of neatness -- labels -- everything has a place to go 'home' to when it is time to be put away.

The whole full-time job is also nagging me -- my car has a $600 repair coming up; and my teeth are going to cost $800 after insurance.  Counselor was advising to hold off on the second job because I'm doing so well sticking with new habits and routines... not perfect, but doing really well in a steady holding pattern at least.  But I really am feeling awful about not contributing more financially to the household - and end up taking those feelings out on himself because he is working a lot of hours during this time of year; and yet I still resent him for not "Helping Around the House" yet he is the one holding the house together money-wise.

So while I'm making huge strides in healthy eating and cooking real food; and have lost almost 50 lbs; I'm also struggling with huge guilt that I'm not doing enough.  *sigh* So Tired of this mind game.. I know that is what it is - it isn't about anything my feelings of lack -- all the time.

I Am Enough.  I'm doing the best I can Right. Now. My best will change as I get stronger. But This IS my Best Right Now.
* * *

I let slide my tracking of time - and took a few minutes just now to log this morning's activities... keeping track of where I'm spending time is key to keeping up with the priorities.
* * *

Well -- exercising keeps a lot of the crap out of my head. So I'm grateful and proud that I did that this morning!
* * *

Himself's Gallbladder Status: He went for his stress test yesterday morning and his lung capacity gave out before his heart -- so we know that is good... the smoking is what got in his way there.  His blood tests have all come back okay -- his cholesterol is 200, which the doc said was good - but his "Good Cholesterol" should be higher -so he's to take Vitamin D & Red Yeast Rice... which I'd not heard before and have been starting to research.

He goes in Monday for another ultrasound scan on the little hernia he has around his stomach/belly button area; and then Thursday for a HIDA scan so the surgeon can see the Gallbladder more clearly. After that I guess he will meet with the surgeon.

I'm still feeding him beet salad, now with a little vinegar which he finds more palatable... he fixed his own dinner last night of chicken and rice with NO VEG for which I scolded him... "I couldn't find any" was his excuse -- such a large child! He just couldn't be bothered.  argh.  He's still only drinking hot water with lemon and now has a little honey with it.  He's a little achey, but fingers crossed he's not had another attack.

His taste palate needs to change toward healthier foods -- so I'm glad it is taking as long as it is to actually get to the operating table.
* * *

Day 71 ~ Habit Number 2 is Taking Awhile (!)

This morning was successful in getting up at 5:20(ish) - took me until 6am to get dressed (put on my exercise clothes) -- I did dishes and cleaned up a lot of the kitchen, took out some meat for dinner (still don't know what exactly I'm going to do with it... probably marinade and grill - in which case the marinade needs to be, like - now!),  made tea, drank water, made my MF Oatmeal, fed the dog... generally wandered around :-)

Then I took my tea outside after getting dressed and enjoyed a beautiful sky pre-sunrise... taking *at least* 10 minutes to just breathe, think about the day, things to do, being grateful ... generally not being in such a huge rush and letting things I didn't get done go ~ it helped!  The chores for today were taking out all the trash & recycling, and laundry. Neither of those things got done.  But I did take the dog for a walk for 20 minutes... we explored a new street this morning. I love looking at people's houses and yards ♥. 

Back at my house... I took to the side of the house the polar bear Christmas decoration that was broken and looking terrible.  Guilted!

Last night I made a 15-minute incremental log of how I spend my time - from 5am to 2am 9cuz that all fit on one page).  It took me over 3 hours last night dorking around with chorus videos and DVDs and trying to get a 15-minute video up from Saturday morning's coaching session took me well over an hour and a half... while waiting for the computer to do all its stuff -- I took the opportunity to create the time log (hmmmm.... wonder why?!)

Something I read awhile ago on some kind of productivity/follow your dreams type of post/blog I remember reading that keeping a tracking like this for a couple weeks (kinda like a food list, but for time) is a great way to really figure out where you 'lose time.' To look back and see how much time I'm taking on email, Facebook, Blogging (which is where I want/need to spend MORE time), doing chorus volunteer work -- and then the cooking, cleaning, sleeping, bathing, researching on the 'net for healthy eating ideas and exercise stuff, reading about frugal/simple living...

It kinda goes along with the whole heart change I had the other day -- in that really knowing what I want to do and accomplish will help me make better decisions when there is something I'm asked to do (volunteer-wise).

I love learning the tech-stuff, don't get me wrong -- but there are some other non-related things I really want to do too (make some cards for people who are having some health concerns, for one), and other promised commitments I've made that are more creative!
* * *

On the eating front - I was down a lb this morning -- but I've been playing with this pound for about 4 days, so until I get past it, I'm just plugging along! I don't think I'm going to hit the 50-lbs lost mark on Thursday (bummer!), but this only gives me more incentive to get out and move!

I've been better about staying on plan - drinking more shakes, and less on-plan overages.
* * *

Title of the post -- I've only managed to get up early about 5 or 6 days so far this month -- between himself's illness and staying up trying to figure out things he could eat, not getting my list of things 'to do' done, and then feeling a tickle of illness and the main reason: Not. Going. To. Bed. Early. Enough.  I was struggling.

Last night I went to bed at 9:40 pm and was sleeping 3 songs into the ipod.

I think wearing my medals every day is helping remind me why I'm doing it.  Geek that I am :-)

Day 50 -- Whoo Boy ! ! F I F T Y Days . . .

and in 50 days by my scale I've lost 38 lbs.  *Happy Dancin' Happin' RIGHT NOW Folks!!*

Today is much better than yesterday, the day before that, and the day before that.
I had eggs last night for dinner (two eggs + 1 Cup of Egg Beaters with some additional protein in the form of Cheese!) and it tasted a bit more normal than the icky tofu I had the other night... I didn't spice it all up, it was simple and delicious!
* * * * *

So ... a friend posted a Facebook Link on this NY Times article about how McDonald's "Healthy" option of Oatmeal is slightly less than a load of manure... makes me so sad.  Really, world, we should be back-lashing against the Golden Arches in so many ways.  Granted, while I lived out of the states Mickey D's French Fries were a golden and wonderful thing... but now I'm a converted 'Chip Shop Chips' are the BEST... so the famous french fries don't even do it for me anymore.

It just makes me sad that they're marketing it as a healthy option but yes, it has more sugar than a snickers bar... according to the article:

The aspect one cannot argue is nutrition: Incredibly, the McDonald’s product contains more sugar than a Snickers bar and only 10 fewer calories than a McDonald’s cheeseburger or Egg McMuffin. (Even without the brown sugar it has more calories than a McDonald’s hamburger.)

The bottom-line question is, “Why?” Why would McDonald’s, which appears every now and then to try to persuade us that it is adding “healthier” foods to its menu, take a venerable ingredient like oatmeal and turn it into expensive junk food? Why create a hideous concoction of 21 ingredients, many of them chemical and/or unnecessary? Why not try, for once, to keep it honest? 

 Here is the link to the McDonald's Nutrition Info for the Fruit & Maple Oatmeal (with diced apples and cranberry raisin blend but no cream). (270 calories; 2.5 g fat, 5 g protein, 150 mg sodium, 57 g carbs, 31 g sugars, 5 g fiber

Here is the link to the nutrition in a regular sized (2 oz) Snickers Bar. (271 calories, 13.6 g fat, 4.3 g protein, 150 mg sodium, 34.5 g carbs, 28.8 g sugars, 1.3 g fiber)

Here is a link to the 'Self' Nutrition site which I've linked to the Quaker Oats Instant 'Apples & Cinnamon' oatmeal... and even IT is better than McD's .

and Here is Quaker Oats quick cooking oats, Dry Nutrition Info ~ still high in carbs, but not sugar!


After looking at the numbers myself -- besides the fat that is so much more in the Snickers... it is about equal... and I am satisfied from a snickers for awhile, too -- it sticks with me. It is the 'better' option for a low-carb eating program, which just cracks me up.
* * * * *

I may have mentioned in a previous post how much I enjoy my morning MF oatmeal and would like to continue that tradition in the future. . . and I found a great site that gives a step by step process with a cost analysis as well. The site is "The Simple Dollar" and what a great website overall, let alone for this very in-depth step-by-step guide and overview to creating your own 'instant' oatmeal that truly is 'have it your way' and MUCH healthier than McD's!

I don't need the CoffeeMate or non-dairy anything (though as an occasional treat it might be a nice change, especially with the flavor options out there now)... I also thought trying Ovaltine with it might be interesting!

I think I have some Quaker Rolled Oats, and I know I have the other ingredients (cinnamon, stevia and/or Splenda) and I won't be adding any fruit for awhile, but I'm curious to try this as a future recipe for when I'm weaned off the MF foods! My goal would be to bulk up the protein probably with Flax seeds (lower carbs than Oat Bran).

The nutrition info for the Peach Oatmeal for MF is: (Serving Size is 34.1 g)
Calories: 110
Total Fat 1.5 g
Sodium 180 mg
total Carb 16 g
Dietary Fiber 5 g
Sugars 2 g
Protein 11 g
* * * * *

What else... I've been thinking about business and money... and am being quite introspective at the moment ~ creating the job of your dreams, etc... and thinking about my new focus starting on March 1st which will be going to bed earlier to get up at 5am EVERY MORNING in order to incorporate exercise into my routine.

My new favorite quote: The #1 Secret to being an adult is: "What you do every day is more important than what you do once in awhile." I got this from "The Happiness Project" Blog by Gretchen Rubin, author of the book, "The Happiness Project."

I've written it on two sticky notes - one for the bathroom mirror and one by my alarm clock by my bed. This next focus is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done, I think. I like sleep. I like the warm bed. I like feeling the rush of adrenaline when I'm pushed for time (late!). Did I say I like sleep...? Cuz yeah, I really like sleep. I don't like doing the things I'm getting up to do -- i.e., house chores - laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, taking out the trash, etc... I don't particularly like exercising. I've been a night owl all my life and I LIKE IT THAT WAY -- but I have to be a grown up now, I guess. At least until I can make money at my passions and loves, which is what my new blog is going to be about (hey, that was subtle, eh?!) It is still a baby at the moment, but all will be revealed soon).

I need to change my mind, I know - simple, but not easy. To remember the reasons I LIKE to get up... see the sunrise (I love seeing the sunrise with a steaming cup of tea and hearing the birds twirping so very loudly in the morning... very nice!). ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....... [long pause]

what else do I like? I like having time to write a good blog post (this one is being done in the afternoon, when I should be doing other things). I like having time to review my goals and 'to do' list for the day/week. I like having time to pray and read the bible. I like having time to get the house chores OUT OF THE WAY so I can do the things I love (and hope to make money at) in the afternoons ~ guilt-free!

Ultimately, getting up earlier will result in having more energy (by putting exercise in my life) and being more productive in all areas of my life.  As Steve Pavlina has said, "Fire that person who says it is okay to go back to sleep in the morning!" ~ and tell myself if I'm super tired in the afternoon, I can always have a nap!

Day 23 ~ Busy!

Real life is imposing... creeping in! A very busy week, month and next few months! The key is planning... and my next mini goal is to be in bed, No Later than 10:30 pm every night (except Chorus Nights) and then up at 5 am.  And what, pray, am I going to do in my spare morning hours?

Every morning I have a goal to do 30 minutes of movement... walking the dog (15 minutes or so) and the JP Muller routine (15 - 20 minutes or so).  I'd like to incorporate these two things on a daily basis... no special equipment or special clothing required. 

After doing these two things consistently for 3 weeks, I'd like to add in toning with the elastic bands (I bought last year as a Christmas Gift to myself) 3 days a week, doing the Tai Chi DVD (that I bought a long time ago and haven't even opened yet), and 1 or 2 days a week doing an in-the-house "Walk Away The Pounds" DVD (which also has never been viewed).

So... 30 minutes a day starting TOMORROW (Thursday, January 27th!) until Friday, February 18th; which is the day I'll SLOWLY begin adding the bands, tai chi, and the walking video.  I think starting out with 2 days of additional movement per week for awhile, then upping it to 3 days a week for awhile, then adding in 4 days is smart for this easily-overwhelmed gal. A  s l o w   build-up of new activity hopefully won't shock me (meaning my challenging 3 year old) into resistance and rebellion.

In keeping with the 6changes.com concept of One Change/ New Habit every two months, I think staying focused on the weight loss (which has meant creating healthy meals) is still my main focus, and the addition of including some exercise every day is the "complete thought" of creating healthier body and lifestyle habits.

By March 1st, I'll be ready for another new Habit -- and I think it will be two months of making exercise the next priority to have in my life on a daily basis. I'm tired of my back aches!! Not being able to stand for 3 hours on chorus risers makes me a VERY UN-happy Bunny!!!

When I reach 250 lbs, we'll set up the elliptical (that has a weight limit of 250 lbs... which annoys me that I can only be "that fat" in order to use it... I can't be fatter, the fact that I need it MORE the fatter I am... can you see my point...? *sigh of disgust*) and I'll add 20 minutes of that into my variety... (I love the elliptical machine!!) and I bought a jump rope along with the bands, and when I'm under 200 lbs I'll add jumping rope as added aerobic exercise... not fun for knees to be jumping when I'm carrying this much weight right now.

In addition to the Exercise...
I think it'll be smarter to slowly (oh so slowly) add in more morning activities ONLY after the 3 weeks of consistent, daily, 30-minutes of movement by building it in one day a week, then two days a week, and so forth...

Eventually my plan will look like this: two mornings a week doing house chores for 30 - 45 minutes -- laundry, vacuuming, general pick up, emptying the garbage, etc... Two mornings a week pursuing my Musical Goals for an hour to hour and 1/2 -- going through the DCP (Director's Certification Program) for Sweet Adelines, being the first thing I want to spend time doing, along with doing tasks as the lead for my quartet, and tasks as section specialist for my chorus.  Then one morning filing and cleaning up the paper piles that surround me, for about 30 to 45 minutes until a habit is formed and the piles can be kept under control in 15 - 20 minutes a day.

It looks like now that the exercise habit will be PLENTY to keep me occupied for March and April... and I'll keep doing what I've been doing in the mornings after the exercise, then take it from there to see what May and June's habits will be.
* * *

Had my Medifast Clinic Call #2 (counts as Session #3) with Lindsey this afternoon... all is well! I'm drinking my water - key for me is getting in my 32 oz in the morning... helps me from having to get up in the middle of the night to pee - really don't care for that!  I'm taking the vitamins... and she asked if I had any special challenges coming up this next week -- and I'm glad she did -- we have all day coaching on Saturday and socializing afterward at a local bar/restaurant.  Thinking about what I'll be eating to keep me going that day was a good thing to start thinking about today!

My scale showed a .4 loss from yesterday -- which I was quite pleased with as I know the rate of loss will be decreasing... I'm adjusting my pleasure to be just as pleased with small moves in the right direction!

Happy Boxing Day

It isn't that I haven't thought about blogging... I just have been preoccupied with other things... chorus was busy over the Christmas Season, I was catching up with chorus commitments I'd neglected, lots of little meetings and quite a bit of social time, too :-).  My new quartet auditioned for the chorus (music team) and passed -- in order to be an official quartet of my chorus -- and therefore we can represent proudly Sweet Adelines around the community, and then December absolutely sped by!!

As this blog is meant to be about the journey of weight loss, fitness and self-improvement in general ~ the big thing on my mind has been the offer made by my step-dad in November to pay for the Medifast Weight Loss Program for me.

Before talking more about Medifast and what that means, I needed to speak to him and mom about expectations and how it would work between us.  They have heard lots of ads on the radio station they listen to in their area; about how it is supervised by medical professionals (since I have not heard the ad myself, I don't know if the ad says doctors...) and when you do the program you have nutritional counselors and you check in once a week. So, in conversation with step-dad and mom, I told him when I'm having a hard time, I'm going to call him and rant/rage about it, and he can be one of my support people... and we agreed to see what progress I've made in 3 months.  I told him I want to lose 150 lbs, and is he in for paying for it until that point? He said yes.  Knowing the history of my family, I want to put something in writing or email stating as much, in order to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings and to also hold me as accountable as possible on my end of the bargain - which is to  l.o.s.e.  t.h.e.  w.e.i.g.h.t.  full stop. The End.

I found out that the Medifast website is something sort of different than the centers... it looks like you can do the program by ordering food and webtools, and the website doesn't seem to say anything about how the centers are run differently. Weight Watchers has the same thing, and I sucked at that website only thing. I know I need the one-on-one accountability.

I called the center that seemed to have the most convenient hours and closest location to me from where I'll be driving from... and the gal I spoke to said that I wouldn't be going through the website at all-- that I go to the center once a week (and that is an additional $8 a week), though I probably will be doing a phone check in once every other week, since driving up weekly is a little unrealistic with my schedule and budget.  She said that the average website-only user sticks with the program only 5 weeks; that the centers have a higher success rate.

I know from my 25-lb weight loss experience back in the summer of 1988 with Diet Center and DAILY weigh-ins, I did really well with that outside accountability. (Examining why I can't keep a commitment to myself will be part of my emotional journey this year, I'm sure)

So, I made an appointment to go back up there on December 30th in the afternoon...mom will meet me there. There will be an hour spent with me by a Nutritional Counselor (will be interested to see what exactly that means) finding out more about me and which program of theirs would work best. The gal on the phone said I'd be sent for blood tests etc... and I'm sure a weigh in.  I pick up my food from the center, and pay them there -- which is one main reason why mom is coming along.  I plan to begin on Tuesday, January 4th, 2011.  Starting a diet on a Sunday or Monday just basically sucks on all levels emotionally.  I'm excited about it, and am very eager to meet with the person at the center to find out even more information.

In the meantime, I went and bought some elastic bands to work out with -- I want to be able to travel with them and they are light... and a jump rope. I have a tai chi DVD that I've not watched yet, a walking DVD that I want to also do, and I have an Oxycise DVD that I want to put in and take a look at too. Tomorrow morning I'll start walking the dog in the mornings again, and get back to getting up at a regular time despite the time I went to bed... and I need to restrict my television to one day a week.  I never watched this much television before I got married, and 12+ years of bad bad habits need to be reversed.

2010 has been the year of epiphanies; 2011 needs to be the year of follow through.