Restart - Part II - The Sequel

Today is it.  I took pictures... downloaded the C25K app and am feeling ready.

When I was saving the photos to the file, I saw that last year, on July 29 I took pictures for a restart... to juice.  I've gained 18 pounds since last July... which, considering how many pounds I've gained back *in total* - I feel not so bad about.

I'm essentially 20 pounds away from the 338 that I started with at Medifast on January 4th, 2011.
I didn't weigh this morning - but a few days ago I weighed in at 319.  This last 9 pounds since the last time I weighed have stopped me from being able to sing a phrase without being out of breath. 

So I begin today.

So far:
hot water with 1/2 freshly squeezed lemon, stevia
a protein bar
water
Juice (2 glasses by 2:30pm): 1-1/4 green apple, 10 carrots, 1 long cucumber, the last few pieces of celery, the other half of the lemon, and a bunch of mixed super greens.  It makes about 2 mason jars full of juice.
I think I'll have himself's vegetable soup for dinner.

The Couch to 5K program is 8 weeks. I'll start that tomorrow (a Friday) and do it 3 days a week - Monday, Wednesday, Friday and start working out with the bands on other days.  I also want to put in the Tai Chi video and see how I do with that. Lofty Goals!

I like the 8 week thing.  I have a Sweet Adelines singing weekend coming up next weekend in cooler climates ~ which means higher altitudes... It would be great to juice the next 5 - 7 days and get these troublesome 9 lbs off!

Day 1 of Restart -- Sept 1 is goal date for Goal Weight

I'm just sayin'.

Time to stop dilly dallying around.

MF Scale = 240.8 today.  Makes my loss 97 lbs.  Phlsdplthmpthss! (that's a strawberry, in case you needed a translation).

I bought more shakes - and I plan to have 3 shakes a day, plus a soup and a bar -- my extra's will be cream in my coffee, and a measured amount of almond butter and celery.  I may even go back to pickles!

And a plan to work out my arms.  They're ick.

Freedom in Obedience... when I know the rules, I don't have to worry about choices. 

Heading to bed now. REALLY need to make getting up EVERY DAY at 5am a priority.

every. day.

Day 117 ~ 1.51 miles walked, another pound down!

Longgggg day yesterday... busy weekend ahead!  I slept in this morning until 7:30 and got out with the dog around 7:55.  I took a very leisurely walk this morning, and got back home at 8:25.  My back hurts -- but it was a gorgeous morning -- kinda windy, but not yet a hot hot wind... but it was warm.

I'm wearing clothes that have been in my closet for years, unworn because they were so ill-fitting. I have on a men's (large men's store) t-shirt, and a pair of old black pants that probably have holes in the crotch/rear end (!) but no one can tell because they're so LOOSE!! Whooo-Hooooo!!

I didn't really FEEL like walking this morning, but felt good about the fact I was doing it anyway.  Huge for me.

Lots of allergens floating around outside, and I've got that constant 'I'm gonna sneeze' feeling goin' on. bleh.
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I ♥ Medifast. Just sayin'.  I had an extra MF meal last night, with an extra piece of string cheese... dinner last night was a can of tuna mixed with probably a 3/4 C mixture of non-fat and no-salt-added cottage cheese, on top of a bit of raw cabbage & baby spinach, and some roasted kale and baby asparagus (with some olive oil and salt, and TJ's '21-gun-salute' no-salt spice mix... my current new favorite thing).  Mixed it all together and it was very very good!! Thinking the tuna and cottage cheese will be the new tuna and mayonnaise!! :D

I had all bars (5), Parmesan puffs, the white cheddar mini rice cake things, plus the string cheese... all my water, and a large cup of coffee with cream and sugar free chocolate torani syrup in the morning.

Day 67 - Kaleidescope

So many things going through my mind!

So I quickly just jotted down everything immediately on my mind -- and no, I may not get to all of it in today's post(!)

First Up:
I'm down another 2 lbs! I was down 2 lbs yesterday -- Woot Woot WOOT WOOT!!

I did the math, and I'm over 1/2-way to being Half-Way to Goal! This is quite exiting for me! I'm not great at fractions, but this is a quarter of the way there, no?

On my home scale, I've lost 44 lbs. * Medifast Scale last week was 43 lbs lost, so I'll be excited to go up this week and step on! The past week has been difficult (that is a huge understatement), but I decided I'd get back into doing the MF Shakes some more - I've not had shakes in probably 4 weeks -- just got tired of them. 

I've been snacking on high-protein 'real food' snacks - and have still been losing, but I really wanted to have lost 50 lbs by this next weigh in at the Clinic.  So... I'm back to the shakes, and this morning's Cappucino shake with Sugar Free Syrups (1 TB Caramel, 1 TB Chocolate), and 1/2 TB Ground Flax Seeds was absolutely delish.  When I got hungry at 11:30, I usually eat a bar for this time of day, but went for the Vanilla Pudding and did a shake instead - nothing extra in it, and it tasted pretty good.

I know the MF Message boards say taste buds change over time on the plan, and re-visiting foods after a few months is a good idea ~ I didn't think that would be the case with the shakes, necessarily - because I didn't find them awful.  I think I just got bored of them - and it is easier to open up a packet of Puffs or a Bar, than get the ice, the water, do the blending, rinse the blender - wash the cup etc... nothing like a little mini-goal to shake up the lazy tendencies
* * * 

So this week I got a haircut - it is amazing how much lighter I feel! I cut my hair really short in 2009-ish, and love it -- I love having long hair to play with and curl... but the desert heat is miserable enough having to wear clothes, extra hair just adds to the misery. Maybe when I've lost the extra padding I will be able to deal with the hair... but in the meantime - my short hair was long enough to pull up into a clip = Too Long!  I also bought a new, funky pair of sunglasses, which make me smile just looking at them. When himself takes the progress pix today, I'll put them on for one of the pictures :-)

So - between the haircut and new sunglasses ~ I feel happy in my skin! Oh yeah, and the minus 4 lbs is a wonderful addition to feeling great!!
* * *

Trying on Old Clothes ~ this morning after my shower, I wanted to clear some of the old clothes from my closet (first reason is because I need a few more hangers) -- not just old 'fat' clothes (which I'm mostly still wearing because they're not huge-o yet, or falling down to the floor...), but clothes that I've not worn in a long time for whatever reasons. When I was doing that, I found clothes that I haven't worn because while I loved them (color, style, etc...) I felt fat. Then there are the t-shirts that are X-Large, 3X-Large and 5X.

The X-Large I tried on and want to take have taken a progress picture of it now because it is really tight... it'll be another really cool way to show how much weight I'm losing when it is loose and baggy (oh the happy happy thought!). The 3X-large is also tight - a lot less so than the XL of course, but still not something I'll be wearing too soon. I like my clothes loose ~ never have been a tight-clothing wearer... ugh! Especially trousers... bleh.

The 5X looks great, only it is way too short ~ only way I'd wear it right now is with a shirt underneath in case I had to lift my arms. 'Cuz there ain't any reason to subject people who have done me no harm with a picture of my extremely white, round tummy. nope. it just wouldn't be fair. not gonna do it.

All that said about t-shirts ~ the progress picture to be posted today is one of my favorite shirts that I've not worn in ages -- it is yellow (I ♥ Yellow) and so therefore, shows the selection of baked items under the fabric... you know, what kind of roll do you want today ~ jelly roll is my specialty!  But while there are some rolls under there, it isn't anything like it was 44  lbs Ago!! So... I put on the bra that keeps the girls up, put on some makeup, my haircut's all cute and short, put on my Sparkly Every Day Earrings and put on my favorite yellow top... and himself took the picture! It will be up on the progress page as soon as I can get it all together when I finish this post.  And I even had him take one with my new fun sunglasses.

Yes, I still have a long way to go. Yes, I'm feeling GREAT about the progress I'm making so far. Yes, I'm so very thankful for my step-dad and mom (every day) for giving me this chance to prove to me that I CAN stick with something this important.

There are about 6 tops I'll be taking to give away - a pair of size 30 pants that were too big when I bought them and never ever wore them outside the dressing room.  The next project is to go through himself's t-shirts and toss 5. Same goes with the bottoms.
* * *

Well, that is plenty of news for today. I am feeling absolutely fabulous. The health issues himself is dealing with has been a wake up call in a fabulous way... we are really starting on the path to healthier eating - and making strides with increasing his water consumption, smaller portion sizes and really cutting out processed food. We are now waiting for an appointment to see the surgeon regarding Gallbladder surgery. He's had a complete physical, and goes in a couple weeks for a stress test. While I wouldn't have wished him this kind of pain, to be honest; his willingness to really go forth and be healthy has been an answer to prayer for me. He had to come to his own conclusion ~ and I believe God knew what it would take. The Nurse Practitioner who saw him Tuesday morning asked him if I was a nurse (!) because I'd been doing the right things for him, and advising him the right stuff. So I think he has more trust in me than perhaps before.

So again, I'm incredibly grateful for this turnaround -- and now he's marking his weight loss on the calendar with me, and we'll start taking some progress pictures of him, too :-)
* * *

I've got some chorus duties to do... tomorrow is another all-day coaching session with the awesome Patty Cobb Baker ~ and this time we get to meet Jeff Baker, her awesome amazing (so I've heard) husband.

Which reminds me - One More Thing.
* * *

I've decided that I'm going to wear my Sweet Adeline medals as much as I can - every day. Especially when I'm walking and exercising! Not only will they remind me of one of the biggest motivators for me to keep losing weight and becoming more fit; but they will maybe spark curiosity in people to ask about them, and it can be a way to help market/publicize the chorus and the craft of barbershop singing.

This is our First Place Mid-Size Medal (the Pink Ribbon), and the Second Place Overall Medal. 

We compete again in April in Pasadena, and if things go as usual, we'll probably get a top 3 placement. The thing is ~ you really never know... And I'm one to not want to jinx or assume anything!

Scottsdale Chorus, Harborlites Chorus, and San Diego Chorus are our Region's BIG CONTENDERS and one or two, and sometimes ALL THREE of them are all competing at the International Contest (which is how Tucson Desert Harmony got to compete at International in 2009 in Nashville - because all three were out of the contest in 2008 due to international wins and current competition status).

The smaller-mid-sized choruses in our region are all doing wonderful things in growing members and increasing vocal skills -- and our laurels are NOT big enough to rest on!

But I digress. I want to wear my medals, and have them always in my sight as a constant reminder of why I'm doing what I'm doing. Why I want to get up earlier to get my exercise in and over with! Why I want to make time every day to sing and increase my vocal skills. Why I want to listen to peppy music and sing with it on the elliptical! To be the best I can be with No Excuses!!

Day 48 ~ Yes, what a Monday!

I'm losing focus. Haven't been detailed on my food list, and that is very dangerous.

Bored of the routine. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored.

One week left before the shift to a new habit/focus... which will be the combination of going to bed early to get up early.  For Two Months.  Regardless of what obstacles I may put in my way.

Getting some productivity done in the morning is KEY! Planning my eating day in the MORNING is Essential to my success in this weight loss as well as the maintaining the weight loss that comes later, which I understand is more difficult than losing the weight.
* * * * *
Time Out for a Snack:

100 Calorie snack = 2 slices of deli ham (Per slice: 30 calories, 380 mg sodium, 0 carbs, 1.5 g fat) with 1 Laughing Cow Cheese wedge (35 calories, 260 mg sodium, 1 g carb, 2 g fat), tonight I added 2 small leaves of Romaine lettuce (per leaf (?) = 10 calories, 2.27 mg sodium, .67 g carb, 1 g fiber, 0 g fat) which brought the calorie total up to a whopping 115 cal, 1,020 ms sodium (high!), 2.34 g carbs, 5 g fat).  For me this is a very satisfying mouthful that can hold me for awhile.  I mash the cheese in the ham, lay on the lettuce and roll up to eat.
* * * * *

I'm going to make more turnip fries and turkey burgers, because I'm missing that 'normalcy' a little.  Tonight is Mahi Mahi - YUM, but I really am craving some brown rice... Out of cauliflower and don't feel like fooling with ricing or grating or whatever to it to create a "rice like" texture/consistency.

Last night's dinner was icky... I didn't marinate the Tofu, which is a mistake -- the veggies were good, but the lack of deep flavor convinced me that some soy sauce would be okay -- and the sodium yesterday was higher, which showed up as a "plus 1" on the scale this morning.  I suspected it would do that, however, so I was prepared.

I'm feeling deadlines creeping up and my procrastination tendencies are at an all time high it seems, as I'm having fun thinking about my new room... and not clearing the clutter, taking the (insert expletive here) tree down, putting away my craft supplies and generally being bored with house chores.

This is where I have to sit myself down and give myself a pep talk... how much easier it is when I plan, and things are done, and just spend 15 minutes (at this point I'm doing just 7 minutes...!) doing one thing.  I unloaded the dishwasher this morning (after turning the alarm off at 6:30 and sleeping until 7:45ish), and the kitchen is in pretty good shape... but I've not planned my meals or shopping and feel the anxiety building.

It is probably time to experiment with the MF foods to make "bread" and "pizza" etc... see how that goes.

I am, however, wearing a pair of pants that I've not worn in over a year (maybe longer) because I always felt 'fat' in them - they're a sage green knit elastic-waisted pair of pants and there's a top that I wear with them, and I can tell I'm losing.  So YAY!!!

Keeping the Visualization Up is another thing I need to do first thing in the morning, along with being grateful and thankful and appreciating all that I have and all the blessings in my (our) life.

♥

Day 43

Here's the promised picture of Turnip Fries... will post the recipe on the recipe page a little later... these are yum!!

The first picture is 3 turnips cut into french fry shapes before going into the oven.

The second picture are the fries done... will cut them a little larger next time, maybe they'll be a little crunchier on the outside.

Regardless, they were delicious!!
* * *

Busy Day... it is bed time. 

Day 42 ~ Turnip Fries - Yum!

I don't have a picture uploaded yet, but will soon.  Yum! Who knew Turnip "Fries" could be so delicious! Himself thought they tasted similar to Sweet Potato Fries... kind of a sweet flavor, compared to potatoes.  I baked them in the oven with some olive oil, cajun spices, pepper & Parmesan cheese... I'd bet if they were fried in the traditional manner they'd be awesome, too!

I went and bought himself's birthday and valentines chocolate today at Walgreens... and while I wasn't tempted really... I was tempted, in a way. It was a weird thing.  I have chocolate options on MF, but it isn't a box of Lindt Truffles, which is what I got himself for his present.  It was a $11 box of mini desserts, which looked lovely!  So now I'm debating do I want the MF Brownie, or Hot Cocoa... thinking the cocoa will be the choice tonight.

That's all for today!

Day 37 ~ Whoopeeeeee!!

This morning was a gorgeous number on the scale!  Down 3 lbs... and I've not seen this number in a long... L.O.N.G time!!

A number of thoughts have occurred to me to write about... wonder if I can remember any of them now (*lol*)!

Some Keys to my success so far

Key: Getting in my 32 oz of water in the morning before 9am.  This keeps me pretty satisfied hunger-wise. I notice if I have a headache, or have some anxiety (aka stress), I chew gum to "chew-off" some of that excess energy. This gum thing has been a huge "A-Ha!" for me.

Key: Planning my dinner in the morning (in other words, in advance!).  Seems like the whole planning thing is a Duh(!) ~ and I've mentioned planning before... I have a couple 'go to' meals for when I can't be bothered planning my Lean & Green... (Mahi Mahi marinated in my favorite marinade and grilled on the GFG, with Spinach, Romaine & Broccoli or other raw veggie with Wishbone Balsamic Vinaigrette dressing, maybe some almonds, or Parmesan cheese, even a TB of real bacon bits if I'm feeling like I need some variety is one; Beef Zucchini Skillet Meal is another.)

Key: Blogging and tracking everything.  Much easier when MF does all the work for you! But tracking all condiments, SALT(!), fats... snacks... it all counts. Blogging helps me reflect on what is happening, because it is happening fast! To be able to look back and see how far I've come, what I've learned, how I've been feeling -- it all is helpful in learning more about myself and how I got to this 300+ pound place in the first place.

Key: Accountability. Leo Babuta is right.  Even though there aren't a lot of comments (*sad face here*), I know people are looking... and cheering... and reading... making their own judgements... and just knowing that I'm not just answering to myself is one of my personal motivations.  I tend not to keep my word to myself, but keeping my word to others is place much higher on my priority scale... though this is slowly (oh so very very slowly) changing.

Key: Keeping the food 'fresh' -- finding things I can do on MF with the MF Foods, MF-Friendly recipes; I'm putting together a resource of everything I've found that looks worth trying -- so far it is a 32 page document(!).

Key: Reading other weight loss blogs. Real People are Really Inspiring. Full Stop. Just knowing there are a lot of us out there trying to [1] Lose then [2] Maintain... we are excellent company!

Key: Focus. Blogging/Logging helps keep me focused. Knowing that this (MF Losing Weight Plan) is all I have to focus on for two months (as I'm following the 6changes.com philosophy), and 'getting into my groove and good habits' I think has been the most important thing.  Seeing my pants falling down around my ankles is the vision I keep in front of me all the time. *Big Grin!*

* * *

Lucerne Cottage Cheese has a 'no-salt' added option. Today I bought one container of that, and one of non-fat... taste-tested today and the no-salt one is quite vile, to be honest. I mixed the two together, which will still reduce the salt and fat of both of them, and hoping the taste will improve after they've had time to 'mingle.'

Will give a progress report later.
* * *

I took progress pictures today... 30 lbs gone! Will get those updated to the Progress Page as soon as this post is done.
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Asked the question today of my MF Counselor regarding Vegan Mozarella cheese (made from Tofu)... Situation was this ~ Monday I was starving and had all my protein at lunch ~ so Portabella Pizzas it was, and instead of regular cheese (which is counted as a protein), I used the Tofu Cheese (which actually tastes pretty good, and as you see in the photo, melted pretty good under the broiler, too!), thinking that Tofu can can go either way as a "Lean" or a "Green."

Shirataki Noodles are considered by MF to be a "Green" -- but they are made from Tofu.
Tofu is considered a "Lean" (non-meat option) -- also made of Tofu.
In My World, I think if you have all your protein and want to use 2 TB of Tofu Cheese as part of your Green Meal, it should count as a Green ;-)
In MF World, it is counted as a Lean -- good reasoning behind it, actually -- counting as a Lean then still requires one to have the appropriate number of servings of Green, which has more fiber, needed nutrients etc...

That Being Said -- Shirataki Noodles should then be considered a Lean (for the sake of pure consistency).

Just my processing thoughts ;-)  It's all good... because if you're going to "go off plan" or "have too much of something" it is better to err on the side of Protein!!

You can see the Zucchini peeking out from under the cheese. I stir-friend the zuke in a flavor profile* to be spicier... so I'd maybe have a sensation of meat (I don't particularly like pepperoni).

*Flavor Profile = Perhaps a Bit Too Much Watching of the "Top Chef" I'd say, eh? *LOL*

Day 32 ~ 26 Lbs Down! (* Official!* )

Will have to get a Progress Photo done!  The last 4 lbs (well, technically 3 lbs as of this morning) have been hard earned! After reading that the average American retains between 20 and 30 lbs of water because of how much sodium we consume... well, I'm flabbergasted.  I knew too much salt was bad for us, yadda yadda yadda - blah blah blah... now I've been hit in the head and don't want to go back!

This morning I was up 1 lb from yesterday - but I'm okay with it. I know fluctuation is part of the journey, and I did have an extra meal last night (MF Hot Cocoa) because I was so hungry... my eating schedule was thrown way off by the lack of water in the morning (no shower, no teeth brushed, no soup pre-made and just generally unprepared) so ate bars all morning, had a skimpy dinner out at Mimi's (very un-happy with my veggie portion), and was so hungry just about all day.

Lesson Learned: Regular Eating Schedule is key.  Planning Ahead is the Key to THAT Key!!

Now for some Food Photos!

Portabella Mushroom "Pizza"

The Portabella Mushroom Caps are grilled for 10 minutes on the GFG (with a tiny splash of olive oil, Mrs. Dash and pepper). For the Pizza Sauce, I didn't use onions this time (I used 1/2 tsp of Onion Powder), but next time I'll put one green onion. That with a minced clove of garlic in a small shallow pan with 2 tsp of olive oil... I then put 1/4 C of diced tomatoes and about 1/8 C of frozen chopped peppers (red, green & yellow). I then put in 1/4 tsp each of Basil, Oregano & Italian Spice mix, 2 TB water (when I have low-sodium chicken broth I'll use that). I simmered it on medium for awhile... then poured the mixture into a small measuring glass and smoothed it out with the hand-held mixer.  Back in the pan to simmer some more, and added about 1/4 of a packet of Splenda. For what it was, it was delish!  I then cut string cheese for the top (the only low-fat cheese I had around). Then under the broiler (on High) for about 2 minutes, until the cheese is bubbly and starts to brown.

Shirataki Noodle - Tofu - Stir-fry (YUM)!I found the coolest square vegetable cutter (like an apple corer/slicer) only square... and it did the Tofu in those neat (even-cooking) squares. I diced zucchini and stir-fried the tofu in TJs Soyaki, some water and a few other spices. I added the Veg about 10 minutes into it, and poured a little olive oil in the pan to crisp up the Tofu (used Extra Firm). After the stir fry was done, I crisped up a little less than half of the noodles, and they were FABULOUS!!

I can have 15 oz of Tofu - that is almost a pound! This shows just 7 oz, which is plenty... so splitting up this "Lean" of the Lean and Green will work well on days (like today), where I'm pretty hungry and not at work.

I've also gathered a chart of vegetable serving sizes by weight -- because it is difficult to measure a 1/2 C of asparagus(!). That will come in handy.

I've got a chart of High Fiber Foods by 1 C servings, and plan to incorporate Flax Seeds and Kale into my meals... Flax for regular... uummmmm.... *movement* and Kale because it is a powerhouse of fiber and a moderate carb that is on the MF list (1 Cup = 7.2 g fiber).  Broccoli is the other powerhouse for fiber (1 C = 4.50 g fiber), but it is considered a higher carb veggie.

The other two powerhouses of fiber in the veggie department are Avocado -- which is a MF "no no" for now (1 Medium = 11.84 g fiber), and cooked green peas -- not only a MF no no but a 'me no likey' also(!) (1 C = 8.84 g fiber).  I can't wait to have Avocados again... I'm planning to use it as often as possible for replacing mayonnaise and butter :-)
* * *

SUPERBOWL SUNDAY -- XLV ~ Packers vs. Steelers

In our house, traditionally himself deems it "Hot Dog Day" - and boils onions and eats hot dogs all day long. With some crisps, maybe.

So I've been looking for some snacky food items that will be "Fun" and "Good For Me (Us)" -- So far I think making deviled eggs and zucchini chips sounds like a good start... I may try the Cauliflower "Bread" Sticks, too.  I bought some MF Honey Mustard Pretzel Sticks (which is considered a Meal) and MF White Cheddar Soy Crisps (which is considered an optional snack). 
* * *

Emotionally... doing good.  Falling behind on this blog is NOT a good thing, it is such an awesome tool for keeping my head in the game!  I love reading other blogs, but I tend to read first... and by the time I get around to mine I'm tired of being in front of the computer! Or I lolly-gagged around and don't have time to put serious thought and effort into content.  Yes, sometimes I am genuinely busy -- but THIS is the most important thing.This focus on losing 150+ lbs.  Lyn had another great post today about not wanting this to take any longer than it has to.  She's been on her path for 4 years, and is tired of "trying to lose weight."  Amen Sister!

For over 20 years (some of that time was wasted mental energy because I didn't really need to lose weight...) I've "wanted" to lose weight.  But even with so many good programs out there (Weight Watchers, Diet Center, South Beach, Curves Diet, etc...) I was not in a place where I was ready to make it my Number One Thing. I never tired of trying because I never really tried.  Two times I lost over 20 lbs (Diet Center and Weigh Down Workshop) over an 11-12 week period of time... but it (obviously) didn't stick.  So my question to myself is "Why Now? What is different?"

Being so obesely overweight is one thing that is different.  My age is different. Working on my self-esteem, that I "am enough" is different. Finally knowing what I really want... THAT is a helluva difference.
* * *

I love researching the food ideas, and when I'm tempted to eat something, coming online and reading recipes keeps me on track. Weird... I would think that reading about food would make me hungrier ~ but it is more likely to inspire me!

I have some new things to try -- Vegan Mozzarella Cheese ("It Melts!" says the package), because of the low-sodium content is something I'm going to try -- and Tempeh as an alternative protein.  I've read about it for years, and have found a couple recipes -- now I want to see what that is all about.

I've got Ahi Tuna in the freezer, and some Mahi Mahi -- and definitely will be looking out for making the fish in the next few days because I'm allowed so much AND get the healthy fat.  I miss the healthy fat when I have other protein choices.

This was a long post, but lots of catching up to do has been done.  Up and At 'Em should be my waking mantra... because like exercise, getting this done and accomplished in the morning is a great way to stay focused and not have any excuses!

Day 28 - Refocusing

I had Shirataki Noodles, with a Tofu stir fry with Zucchini & green onions for my Lean and Green tonight... have a picture and will post!

A Good Day Today -- shopped at Sunflower and found the noodles ~ had leftover Tofu from the other night, and I found a bunch of low-fat and some low-sodium cheese.

Will catch up tomorrow!

Day 20 ~ Concrete Details

Concrete Productivity vs. Processing Emotions and thoughts

This morning I slept in until 8:15... I tried to sleep until 9am but, too many thoughts clamoring that needed action! I got out of bed to feed the dog and pee (my only definite "routine" in the morning...), and I put the hot water on to boil at medium.  I went back to bed, thinking I'd catch a few more zzz's, and then thought that leaving a 1/2-full kettle on medium to boil dry in 45 minutes wasn't the best idea...(!) and then started thinking of all the things I wanted to do before this afternoon's quartet rehearsal, so I got out of bed and got movin'!

I started coffee, started soaking my Maple & Brown Sugar Oatmeal, started some tea, took my MF vitamins, turned on the George Foreman Grill (GFG), and in-between all this I was putting clean dishes away, loading the dishwasher and hand-washing utensils I would be needing to prepare the day's food.

I started grilling the chicken that has been marinading for two days - divvied up the white tenders into 6 oz portions and put them in labeled baggies; divvied up the dark thigh meat into 5.5 oz portions and one 2.5 oz portion.  I prepared cream of chicken soup for this afternoon's quartet rehearsal, and put in 1/4 cup chopped spinach leaves (a recommendation from Lyn at Escape from Obesity) and took .5 oz from one of the dark meat portions and cut up really fine little bits of chicken, along with substituting 1/4 cup of water for low sodium chicken broth.

I started eating my Oatmeal at almost 9am, and just finished it when I sat down to write this post... at almost 9:45am... had to warm in up a couple times before I could finish it!

I even went out and picked up the Sunday paper *on purpose* thinking I might have time this morning to look a the food sales and stock up! [Normally I pick the paper as I'm leaving the house, and it sits in my car for weeks or months...]

So I've been quite productive this morning and feel all self-righteous because I got so much done - and now I reward myself with some blogging.

Oh Yeah -- and I am back down the pound I was up yesterday... so that helped my good feelings; though I know I am doing good things, so being the same would have not been a disaster or anything.

* * * * *
Doing Something Concrete is usually my answer for combating unhealthy thoughts and feelings.  Concrete Details of preparing today's food and this week's protein for some soups or meals... the activity kept me focused this morning and prevents me from dwelling on all the things I haven't done, or the things that I have yet to do, or the worry that I really need to find another part time job or a full time job quite soon.

The questions I put down a couple days ago really need some attention, a few minutes at a time... I've been living a lot of my life as a reaction to my upbringing, as opposed to choosing what I really believe would be the best choice for me.  I actually realized this as a seed of a thought in my late 20's, but back then I wasn't a big deal. It has become a bigger deal.

* * * * *
And what would I want to write in my obituary... I've seen this on a couple self-help/life-focus blogs or articles, but haven't taken the time to do it... when I read an Obituary, I'm struck by what kind of service their life reflected. I believe we're put here to help other people, but I don't think we know very often what kind of positive influence we might have... which is one of the reasons if I hear something nice said about someone else, I will repeat that nice thing back to the person of whom the comment was said -- because I feel we don't tell others sincerely how much we appreciate them.   If what I'm doing isn't appreciated, then I will move on to something that will be more appreciated.

How do I know if it is appreciated if someone doesn't say something? And not just a passing, "thanks" when the event or an evening is over... for me to really know that my effort is appreciated, I want a couple minutes taken out of someone's day by a postcard or a phone call, or a personal email even.

In my world, this concept is tied up with whatever our natural talents or gifts are... what is a talent for me -- something that comes so naturally without thought or effort... it is easy for me to not give myself credit for that, and even easier to negate someone else's positive affirmations of what I've used the talent for, because I didn't have to work at it. I throw away those kind and gentle words of others because I didn't have to DO enough to earn it.

The Twisted Way We View The World!

These Thoughts To Be Continued...

Day 19 ~ Feeling Good!

Up early to take one of the vehicles in for servicing, done by 8:20 am -- cleaned out my car (!), started laundry for himself, cleared off some of the couch mess, copied a CD for my quartet, more laundry for himself, put my laundry away, filled in my calendar and wrote a "To Do" for this week.

I ate my Oatmeal at 7:30 am this morning, and had my Lemon Crunch bar at 10:30 this morning... need to go re-figure out my craft class this afternoon so I'm not stumbling over myself in the explanations, and have lunch around 1pm, I think -- take a shake with me for after the class, then Mahi Mahi for dinner.

I went to sleep later than I wanted to, but got up okay and am feeling productive. My back is hurting, so I hope I can keep up my productivity after class... have lots of fun things to do for chorus and quartet if I can keep up my energy!!

I can feel my procrastination in dreading going and getting the craft stuff together... so I'm gonna set the timer and just spend 15 minutes!

Day 17 ~ Still Feeling the Joy!

Re-reading yesterday's post (which I've not edited), I can tell I was scattered and emotional... kind of an emotional "free-write" which they used to have us do in creative writing in school back in the day. The realization that this is Actually. Happening. and that I. Am. Successful. is still an eruption of joy and love for myself that I don't feel very often ♥.

On one hand, the past two weeks + 1 day went by really super fast -- on the other hand it really didn't. Yesterday the thought crept in that this is going to [at some point] get hard. I want to nibble.  I love to nibble. I was down on the home scale another pound this morning (woot!), which is a wonderful, marvelous thing! But how am I going to react when the scale stops moving for awhile? That will have to be another post for another day.

I know I need to still clear out some clutter from my life -- otherwise the overwhelming feeling will creep back in, and crash into this new way of thinking about food.  But, maybe I've not yet explained conclusively what I'm talking about when I say "new way of thinking about food."

One Big HUGE reason I really appreciate Medifast is the limits. Dealing with less choice is so much easier for me.

In this post-modern world that is so full of instant information (not to mention instant gratification) by way of fax, email, internet, IMing, texting, cell phones, laptops, mobile web devices and whatever the next thing is that is being created -- we have so much information being told to us for our own good... things that we "Should" do. Specifically regarding Healthy Eating & Lifestyle... we have the when, the what, the how and the why of foods and activities we should be incorporating in our lives.

I always thought I preferred Weight Watchers over other programs because it was REAL food. You have to make REAL LIFE CHOICES regarding what you are putting in your mouth.  We have to face reality eventually about making the right choices after we've lost the weight and reached goal, so (in my thinking), we might as well START OUT RIGHT and learn to make those choices right at the beginning!

And ultimately, I still believe that!

But I'm no longer thinking of WW as the only way... with a slight air of judgement for any other weight loss program out there... *shame on me for the judgement*

But... BUT -- for some of us... trying to figure out 100 calorie snacks or 'mini meals' every two to three hours that will incorporate the wants we desire (along with the nutrition needs) is completely overwhelming and my tendency was to give up before I even really started.  I'm talking about making decisions based on taste, chewing, sweetness, savoriness, the bulk amount (size of serving) of the food we choose... all those things come into play when trying to devise a *satisfying* eating plan within the wide variety of food choices we are so very blessed to have.

And don't even get me started on the "Unlimited" Foods. I am an All or Nothing *LITERAL* person and if you tell me I can have as much as I want, I believe you. Knowing that nothing is truly unlimited... my stubborn little 3-year comes out and challenges the statement... and all reasonable thought disappears... just to prove that the statement is wrong - and ultimately hurting myself in the end. (I hope that makes sense...)

Think of clothing and seeing the "One Size Fits All" size (ha ha ha!) -- that was crap for the same reasons.  Now many if not all manufacturers have changed it to "One Size Fits Most" which is so much better (IMNSHO). To me that was such a D'uh!!

There IS a reasonable LIMIT to the amount of unlimited foods we can eat -- but, in my warped mind, if someone says UNLIMITED... then I believe what the dictionary says:

1. not limited; unrestricted; unconfined: unlimited trade.
2. boundless; infinite; vast: the unlimited skies.
3. without any qualification or exception; unconditional.

Which, I understand in my intelligent mind that there are reasonable limits... but I'm telling you the quite immature emotional side of me couldn't listen... with MF she's learning to listen and be okay with the limits.

ALL THAT to say: the non-thinking about all meals but one keeps me intrigued with just enough freedom and creativity for that one Lean & Green meal to keep me from getting bored... bored with the food and bored with the program.  During this year I can create a month or two of meals for each time of day (Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner), which will become what I see as our "Menu For Life."

And I only have to think about One. Meal. At. A. Time - once a day.  For 12 months and a bit. And if I need to eat shrimp salads two nights in a row, I'm so wonderfully okay with that. We are not foodies, we don't have to have extravagant and/or complicated dishes with all sorts of exotic tastes and ingredients. I'm creating a habit - slowly. (See the 6changes.com website for more on creating habits that will stick, 6 at a time)