7 days away from the 365th Day of Medifast

... January 4, 2012 it will be one year.

So many things have gone through my head the last few weeks.

I don't know where to begin.  Except I know that losing the weight is only the beginning.  I am still the same person, with the same frustrations, the same inclinations, the same temptations as I was 100 lbs ago.

I know this because I have ventured off the MF path and indulged a bit -- not in bread, pasta, potatoes or corn on the cob... but in dark chocolate, and much larger portion sizes (which equals more calories and feeling more lethargic!).  I also did indulge in 3 Luxury Mince Pies (they're the size of a small cupcake) made by Walkers that were wonderful.  I didn't eat them all in one sitting...which was also very wonderful.  And there were 6 in the box, and one I gave away; two himself got to enjoy.

I felt really crappy Monday night after eating a lot of sugary things Sunday and Monday.  I will have sugar in my life, but it will have to be Oh-So-Worth-It, and very intentional.

I realize I HAVE to get back to blogging regularly.  It was this that kept me honest and focused - and I need to put my time and energy back here where it belongs.  Full Stop.

It has been a lovely break. I go back to weigh on January 7th -- and after the last dark chocolate covered almond with turbinado sugar and sea salt is gone (which it is now), I will be back to being 'good as gold' in the eating to lose weight Medifast Method.

Two things to consider as my 'new focus' in the new year -- [1] Stop Complaining and [2] Put things away whether I'm done/finished or not.

Life is an amazing thing. If you're reading this, you're probably incredibly blessed too. Let's be grateful for what we have, and the gifts we've been given (talents, skills, abilities) -- and share. 

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. --Ralph Waldo Emerson

Day 124 ~ How Am I Doing It Exactly....?

I received a text message this morning from a dear friend asking me how I have lost all this weight... today I weighed in (on my scale) at 269.  That is 61 lbs gone! This week I've walked only 3.5 miles... compared to last week's 10+ miles that is not so hot... this morning's walk was 2.28 miles in 47 minutes ~ and I felt great! What was supposed to be a 2-day break became a 5 days in 7 break. I want to be careful not to let this happen again.  My goal is to walk a 15 - 17 minute mile, getting 3 miles in under 50 minutes.

But back to my friend's question: How I've lost the weight.  She doesn't live in North America... but I sent her the Medifast Quick Start Guide, which is an excellent overview with details of what leans and greens are allowed.

I eat 5 MediFast Meal Replacements a day. Sometimes I have an extra shake, or an extra bar. It depends on the day. I'm a lot less hungry now than I was when I started 4 months ago.

I drink 64+ ounces of water a day.  I try to get 32 oz in before I eat my MF breakfast.

I incorporate 5 TB of ground flaxseeds in my diet almost every day.  At least 1 TB every day (delicious in the MF Oatmeal AND it totally helps to thicken it up!)

I have an "Optional" snack just about every day... either celery with peanut butter, a pickle slice (or two), MF Soy Parmesan mini rice cake things, or MF crackers with Laughing Cow or WW cheese triangles.  Some days I have one or two string cheeses in addition to the snack. 

April was a big old plateau month... I wasn't exercising, and now with the walking, the scale has started moving back down.

I know I have more condiments than I should. As I get closer to my goal weight, this will probably have to change. Right now I have about 1 1/2 TB of half-n-half in my coffee, with 1 1/2 tsp of sugar free chocolate syrup (Torani). I don't measure or really count the olive oil I put on my veggies before roasting... I saw on Jamie Oliver's show to 'count to 2' while pouring Olive Oil... that works for me. And I don't always use it up. The only spices I'm concerned with are the ones that have a high sodium content... and of course, salt itself.

That is a beginning of how I'm doing it... I've not updated the food log page in ages, but it does give a pretty detailed description of what I was eating and when for the first 3 months.

* * *
245 lbs will be my halfway point. That is 24 lbs away. Seriously, can't remember being that weight... it sounds really bizarre, but the last weight I remember is 282 (passed that mark!), and before that... 155!! I must've been really unconscious for a long time gaining that much weight :-(

* * *
Yesterday I finally bought new trousers! Size 1X (18-20W). They are stretchy knit elastic-waist pants from Catherines... nothing binding... and they're just a titch tighter than I like... but I figure they need to last for another 3 months! I have a pair of 2X capris that don't fit yet -- they're linen-like and not stretchy... and while I can put them on.... I wouldn't wear them out in public, afraid I'd split them somewhere embarrassing if I moved too much *ha!* 

In other words, I know I'm not really a size 18-20 yet, but going down to the 1X is a BIG FAT HAIRY DEAL for me right now!! *Happy Dancin' Here!!* 

* * *
This week has been hell emotionally. I did a stupid thing, and made a mistake. I own it. I did it. I'm horribly sorry and contrite. I shouldn't have done what I did at the time I did it, and I could have done it differently. 


The week has been a horrible, sad, depressing gray week of feeling terrible about something I cannot fix or change, as it was my own deed that put me there.

Being human and not perfect ~ it really is a sucky sucky thing sometimes.  I hardly slept this week, and that was one reason I wasn't able to get up early enough to get a walk in. I hope that time will be the healer it has the reputation for, and now that I've forgiven myself for being human and making a mistake, that I will be forgiven.

But I didn't eat off plan, and I didn't overeat. I'm still losing weight. And that is still my first priority.
* * *

Day 65 - the Curveball of Life

Well, I'm up one pound this morning, after being up 3 pounds then down 4 pounds over the last 2 days...(!) I KNOW I went over on eating veggies last night for dinner -- but I made a FABULOUS low-fat, tasty tasty dinner and ate too much of everything!  On top of that, I'd not eaten two MF meals before 10pm, so had to eat two more things before 10:30pm, which I'm really trying to get out of the habit of eating so late.  Add to that Girl Week started yesterday ~ which accounts for the 3lb up/4lb down hormonal normalcy.

I've not walked the dog, I've not gone to bed as early as I was hoping, and keeping a simple morning routine is proving challenging.

Of course, Himself having Gallbladder Issues is the curveball that kinda threw the routine... which is a valid excuse, but I need a faster recovery than anything in the past that has interrupted a good streak.

Himself hasn't had any coffee since Saturday morning -- and seems to be enjoying okay the hot lemon water. He's more likely to get that down than a glass of water with lemon juice in it.  We're not worried about having his Gallbladder out, but we're worried about a hospital stay.  So I'm encouraging him to start eating raw garlic now to help boost his immune system.

He got on the scale last night - and in two weeks the scale shows a 23 lb difference down! Men! He knows he was down a few pounds from what he calls my 'lack of bad influence' (as if!) ~ but no salt, no fat, lots of water... and being scared to eat anything I think has spurred him onto wanting to keep this up!

I'll post my tastiness later -- have to run!

Day 4 - Why Will It Be Different This Time?

Will I be changed forever by the changes I make this year? That is my desire.

I need to be conscious every step of the way.  Making conscious choices of where I'm going and what I'm doing, and not letting emotions carry me off the healthy eating and lifestyle path.

Emotions to beware of: Guilt (feelings of 'should'); Pessimism ('Whatever; it doesn't make any difference' kinds of thoughts); Unique or Special ('just for this once, or this little while' -- an extremely dangerous thought for me to have -- overindulgence in spending has already happened... cannot let that transfer over to food).

I'm sure there are more, but that is what is on my mind as I start today: How Will This Time Be Different (so that I become an exception to a rule, rather than a statistic in keeping weight off once it is lost).
* * *
2:21 pm

Hmmmmmm... the food isn't tasting as 'tasty' today... the Cappuccino I had last night was fine. This morning I mixed it with coffee and water and didn't do very well mixing it up -- there was much sludge at the bottom of the mug -- and that was my breakfast :-(

The PB Crunch bar was fine -- I was pretty hungry so I scarfed it in 10 minutes (I usually make it last an hour)... and I just had Chili -- which I soaked in hot water last night -- heated it again this morning for more absorption to take place, and it was spicy soy curds.  I added extra water to bulk it up, and I did that last time, but not until I'd put the called-for amount of water in and soaked/cooked it... and I ate it within a few minutes, maybe letting it sit around too long made it rubbery.

I'm hungry today.  Day 4 and I'm supposed to be over this part of it, right?! A friend asked if I was hungry... and I hadn't been really, until today (!)

I think to change that "Are You Hungry?" question around to, "Are You Stuffed?" might be an interesting and productive exercise... because I DO have a lot more energy... and I know that is because I'm not over-eating. I'm still motivated, and I'm being a grown up.  I know hunger passes after 15 minutes, and if it is truly hunger, it'll come back quite quickly.  Fake hunger generally doesn't come back within a few minutes.

In other words, I'm on the hungry side, but I FEEL GREAT!
* * *
My oatmeal blew up in someone else's microwave... I'm tellin' ya the stars are stacked against me today!  I just had my lean and green huge 7 oz of shrimp salad and I'm still very hungry!!

I walked the dog this morning... it can't be that big a difference in my hunger if I walk around the block...?!?!
I ate a pickle as an optional snack, and am tempted to have a shake before going to bed... Medifast says if you're really hungry then don't go off plan, have another shake... so I'm going to do that!  I bought some ground turkey and some mahi mahi so I'm going to go look at the recipes on the MF website boards and see what I can see.

My scale was down 5 lbs this morning... so THAT is a good thing!

First Mini Goal

My birthday falls on Thanksgiving Day this year.  It happens every so often; and I love it. I love Autumn; I love that everyone gathers to celebrate my birthday *hee hee* -- I know that isn't the real reason, but it feels like it; so I soak it in! 

Yesterday was Veteran's Day - (nod of huge thanks and appreciation to all who have served; and all who have had those who served in their family for the American Flag and all it stands for) - and two weeks exactly before I turn 43. I thought... two weeks to lose 8-10 lbs would be a good start to this journey. (From Weight Watchers experience, I know my first 5-7lbs lost during the first week when following any eating plan isn't necessarily a true reflection of weight loss; but it has happened every time before, so I'm hoping it'll happen again this time!)

And my excuses are slowly falling away... excuses such as:

• I need new, better, excellent walking shoes

Thanks to my wonderful hubby, himself; I bought some brand new Skechers -- which I've never worn before. They Rock! Literally and yes, the other way too!! Stood on the chorus risers Tuesday night with much less back and knee pain than normal athletic shoes! Only my ZCoils do better!

• It is too hot, and too early!!

I froze last night going to bed; the temp in my house right now is 61F... Perfect Weather for walking! Plus, my good friend P calls me in the morning and we're holding each other accountable in walking each day. I don't want to be asleep or still in bed when she rings, so it helps knowing the phone will ring sometime between 6am and 7am.

• I don't have a good Pedometer

Himself bought me a great pedometer a few years ago, and I asked him to replace the battery so it would work again. Done!

• I Am Afraid. (See this post from another blog of mine)

I have my "walking bag" now - carries the pepper spray, tissues, a flashlight, and water when the weather heats up. It is the place to keep the dog's leash, my sunglasses & the afore-mentioned pedometer. It has taken 3 years to get back out to walk the dog by myself.

Two weeks of walking and counting points (on my own, not going to WW meetings or online stuff... just tracking what I'm eating)... I can do that. It doesn't overwhelm me. It isn't an unforseeable goal in the distant future. I'm an instant gratification girl... I need short goals and rewards, with a map of the entire journey in a drawer that I can pull out anytime to be sure I'm on track.  Because ... knowing where I'm going is a better way to ensure arriving at my planned destination.  Reward for losing the two week goal? Let me get back to you.

Lyn, over at Escape from Obesity posted yesterday that New Year's Day is 50 days away. Where will you be? Not a physical location, but a mental state. And if you're planning to lose weight, or get fit, or whatever the goal may be... why wait? As Gandi said, "The future depends on what we do in the present."

My First Major Goal: To Lose between 35 and 40 lbs before April 7, 2011.
4 months + 25 days
145 Days = 20 weeks

To me this goal is too far in the future... so much time, so much work... every. single. day. And such a little reward (only - maybe - 35 lbs?!?) -- this is when visualizing that a pound of butter is a lot of fat, and 5 pounds of anything weighs a considerable amount... and my loaded up backpack (10 - 12 lbs) is still even more... so it *is* a big deal - and a big accomplishment. When I get there.