What's on YOUR Life List? Part I

Reading this post on The Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau got me to thinking more about my own life list... or "The Things I want to Do Before I Die" - also known as a Bucket List or a Life List - the idea originated by John Goddard.

I know I have an old post somewhere already started that has a list of goals I want to accomplish, places I want to travel to and experience, and experiences I want to do (like zip-line in Hawaii). I don't know if I want to take the time to find it, though.

I just finished a training course related to real estate called "The Ninja Installation" and feel a shift in what my life has been about. Reviewing your "Life List" is one of the things to do every morning as part of a daily routine for success. Along with some other activities, the Life List Review is to help keep me focused on where I'm going and WHY I'm doing what I'm doing.

One of the things we did while in the training was "Life List Bingo" and it was finding people in our 30+ member class who had done some of these incredible things... 

Saved a Life
Completed a Marathon
Climbed a 14,000' Mountain
Seen a Volcano while it is erupting
Climbed the Eiffel Tower
Scuba Dived
Jumped Out of an Airplane*
Gone Hang Gliding*
Been on a Cruise Ship*
Written a Book*
Been to the Great Wall of China*
Visited all 50 States*
Been to Australia*
Played in a Rock Band
Played professional sports
Completed a Triathlon
Been to more than 30 countries
Piloted a helicopter or an airplane
Has been on television
Professional Singer or recording artist (mine on the Bingo card)
An artist or sculptor

It seems like there were at least 5 people who got a Bingo :-)

Asteriks (*) means that is something I want to do

I think I limit myself so much - my current Life List that I created on day one of the class, that I'm starting the habit of reviewing at the start of every day is this:

Take the Young side of my family on a All Inclusive Cruise/Resort (annually)
Make Enough money so that Himself can retire
Make enough money in case mom needs a care facility
Family reunions

Make the Top Level of my company's Internal Recognition
Be a full-time published writer
Income retirement over $1 Million
Have passive income in the form of rental properties and/or AirBnB's
Be a professional Singer/Studio Singer/Role on Broadway (Broadway Star)
Be Financially independent

Be able to take 4 months annually during the hot season and travel around the USA with my truck and trailer, reconnecting with family and friends - seeing all 50 states & experiencing each state's top 10-25 attractions
Visit all the continents
Take a Luxury African Safari
Take a smaller Luxury Cruise, or series of Cruises - European river cruises appeal to me more than tropical ones
Be the "Grand Instigator" of a small, excellent singing ensemble

Have $2 Million to start/fund a tiny house community in/around Tucson for homeless
Fund a no-kill dog shelter
Write my book, "Everyone Can Sing*"
Give talks about my "Everyone Can Sing*" book
Do a TedTalk on "Everyone Can Sing*"
Donate to any and all causes whenever and however much I want
Be Healthy (no medications), flexible & energetic (walking and stretching daily) and have other people say or think "How is it she's aging so gracefully?"

Not everything on this list requires a lot of money... but quite a bit of it does!

And I want to be sure and give myself credit for the things I've already done... like Live in a foreign country when I write my list. And where do I keep this list? Blog? Notebook? Journal? Scrapbook kind of thing?

... To Be Continued ...

Family, the other "F" word (?)

Discussing with a friend a current situation that is happening between myself and a very close member of my family, she said her husband calls family the other "F" word. That made me laugh. But this situation in which I find myself is anything but funny.

I'm not going to publish what I started writing about the situation that is happening that made me write the title of this post. 

If you pray, please pray. If you send good vibes, please send those. 

I hate that this is the second post of 2023. There's been some great things happening, but when I received the text on 1/15/2023 that started this, the big dark cloud came and hasn't really left. 

"Nothing I say will change it." ~ wise words from my colleague. 

I cannot control what someone else understands. 

"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."

This makes more and more sense as I get older.

Don't Know What to Say (song)

https://youtu.be/_RuOCCjSae4I bought some music on iTunes recently... "Liv On" is the collaborative album with Olivia Newton John, Amy Sky & one of my favorite artists, Beth Nielsen Chapman. This song, "Don't Know What to Say" expressed beautifully how awkward it is when grief hits.

You don't know what to say

You don't know what to do

When life delivers this

The right words don't exist

The fault is not with you

Now everybody's come

My loved ones file by

I stand here feeling numb

while family and friends

Hug me as they cry

There is no language for this loss

Grief is a bridge that can't be crossed

Until you've felt someone you love slipping away

You don't know what to say

Now so much time has passed

For me it's standing still

and way too soon they'll ask

That I stop looking back

I hope someday I will

Thanks for being here

And listening to me

And letting me be sad

And letting me be mad

Just letting me be

There is no language for this loss

Grief is a bridge that can't be crossed

Until you've felt someone you love slipping away

You don't know what to say

Just know that it's okay

Love's the only way

When you don't know what to say

And here's the song:
https://youtu.be/_RuOCCjSae4

Why Just a Word for 2023... how about an entire thought?!

 “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” — Aristotle

Whole Food, Plant Based no Sugar, Oil, Low-Salt Lifestyle

While singing is still my reason for being, quickly catching up to something else I'm passionate about is eating healthier. Specifically Whole Food Plant Based healthier eating combined with Intermittent Fasting. Not a temporary "diet" that I'm "on" for awhile, then find myself going back to eating "normal" which is, appropriately named, SAD (the Standard American Diet). This is my lifestyle.

The word diet from the Greek is "diaita = "a way of life" - and from Wikipedia "According to Foxcroft, the word diet comes from the Greek diaita, which represents a notion of a whole way healthy lifestyle including both mental and physical health, rather than a narrow weight-loss regimen."

I like that best - "... a notion of a WHOLE way healthy LIFESTYLE including BOTH mental and physical health..."

I've been traveling the veggie-head path toward what is (almost) essentially Vegan for a long time... For the past 10-ish years I have described my eating as about 80% Whole Food Plant Based (WFPB), and 20% of the time I have the processed foods, dairy and occasionally a burger and fries. Historically, the social aspect (read: fun) of eating out and trying to stay compliant took the fun out of eating out. And I don't think I've ever described how much I enjoy eating out. It's a thing. 

But I digress.

This year I've decided that 2023 will be 93% WFPB mostly SO free with low S - which is essentially the title of this post. SOS is Sugar, Oil and Salt. I've been watching and reading Chef AJ, Anne Crile Esselstyn & Jane Esselstyn, Rip Esselstyn, Jill & Jeff over at The Whole Food Plant Based Cooking Show and Forks Over Knives videos... Dr. John McDougall with the occasional dip to the absolutely delicious (but not oil-free) recipes by Nisha at Rainbow Plant Life whose book "The Vegan Instantpot Cookbook" has amazing and delicious (!) stuff! 

Some back story:
In 2011 I lost 100 lbs on Medifast (now called Optivia - Opt-ah-VEE-ah). I knew I'd be 'transitioning back' to eating real food and started researching healthier eating. I knew that Atkins-style of eating wasn't for me... I'd tried it in Scotland for a couple weeks - and for a few days it was awesome, but I like fruit and vegetables too much, and have never been a huge meat-eater. I'd also thought, since my early 20's, that vegetarianism would be a good fit for me. (I thought Vegan was a bit too extreme, but also, I liked the idea of not eating 'food that had a mother.')

So in my research for what I wanted to eat, I watched "Forks Over Knives," "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead," "Plant-Pure Nation," "What the Health," "Hungry for Change," and "Vegucated."

The first book I purchased was Dr. Joel Furhman's audio book of "Eat to Live" after I watched Vegucated.

This film had a huge impact on me because it followed three very very normal "off the street" folks who agreed to 'be vegan' for 6 weeks. It shows their struggles... not just with what food is available to eat, but how socially difficult it is to stick to your commitment. This film showed 'unsanctioned' filming of inside of a chicken house, and how our CAFO (Concentrated Animal Feeding Operation) style of food production, which breaks my heart and is (imho) cruel and inhumane among other I-don't-want-to-go-there-now things; isn't the PR image of what the big businesses want the public to believe about how they are raising pigs, turkeys, chickens and cows. If you want to understand more about why I came to this conclusion, besides plugging my nose every time I have driven past them (CAFO facilities) on road trips in California and Texas, this page on the Sierra Club Michigan Chapter will explain.

Dr. Fuhrman said that to start a healthier way of eating (WFPB), I didn't have to give up my favorite foods... rather, to transition to healthier eating, before eating the "normal" foods, I first had to eat a pound (yes, a pound) of vegetables. Preferably raw. At least, this was my interpretation of what he said (lol). A great summary of the book is here. 

That's a lot of food.  

But I decided that I wanted to pursue this lifestyle. Slowly.

Yes, eventually our taste buds change, and some transitions were easier than others... drinking plant-based milks was easy - I have never really liked milk. I'd have Ovaltine as breakfast in high school, but that's the only way I could stand it. (My dad used to drink a glass of milk with ice... blech. My mom grew up on a dairy farm and had to drink raw milk as a kid, so she never drank much milk after she moved away from home.) 

Giving up Dairy Queen soft serve... er... not so easy but I'm not stopping every week anymore. Eating more beans... not a problem! Cheese wasn't as hard for me as it is for others... though my summer eating is usually tortilla chips with grated cheese and guacamole. Giving that up was hard. But Nisha has a great fake "cheese/queso" that is quick and easy in the Instant Pot ~ and while not cheesy in the traditional sense, it fills that gap for me just fine!

So that's some of the journey.

The Health aspect of this WOL (Way of Life) is huge. Hippocrates is attributed to having said "Let food be thy medicine." 

But this website says something different...  perhaps he said something more inline with, “ 'In  food excellent medicine can be found, in food bad medicine can be found; good and bad are relative.' With some imagination this can be read as: some foods can cure you, other foods can make you sicker; the effect can vary case by case. "

I'm listening to the audio book "Whole: Rethinking the Science of Nutrition" by Dr. T Colin Campbell, which discusses reductive science methodology vs holistic (wholistic?) science methodology and is compelling. I appreciate all that Dr. Michael Greger has said and done, especially with his NutritionFacts.org YouTube channel and bringing our attention to the science. In his book "How Not to Die" he discusses how we might eat better and avoid chronic disease. 

I bought the book "Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us" and haven't started it, but know the whole point of the book is to educate us; that processed food and the companies that produce it has purposefully been made to be addictive, so we buy more (all about the profits), eat more and then buy more. And this practice is making us sick.

And I need to mention Dr. Neal Barnhart who really has shown the light on diabetes. It isn't the sugar, it's the (animal) FAT in your blood that prevents the insulin from getting into the blood cells! His book "Your Body in Balance" is eye-opening. It's about the science of food, hormones and health. What we eat affects our mood, not just our physical body. This is science... S C I E N C E... that (I personally believe) isn't shared in the mainstream because as Dr Greger says... who's going to make money off of real food... "Big Beet?" LOL!

Maybe you've heard that sugar is more addictive than cocaine...? Here's one of the studies. 

But food addiction is another post.

This is just one post about this passion, it isn't meant to be the whole story of how I got to where I am and why I feel so strongly about this. I've been watching, reading and processing this change since 2012... it isn't taken lightly and I've done quite a bit of research. 

It is a personal decision, and I do not judge how other people choose to eat. I do want my loved ones to live healthier, so I may feel sad about unhealthy decisions, but at the same time, the news about diet and what is 'good' for you changes every day it seems. 

On top of all of this, Allopathic doctors are not required to take nutrition classes in their medical training - fewer than 20 hours, according to a google search. They don't treat the cause of the disease, they prescribe medication and drugs... which is a whole 'nother topic! If we ate more food closer to how it grows (whole corn instead or corn syrup, corn dogs, corn cereals), our bodies will appreciate it. 

The human body is incredible! Given the right conditions we can heal ourselves of so many diseases... of course there are always exceptions to the rule(s), but listening and watching the stories of people who have overcome 'diseases of lifestyle' by following a WFPB lifestyle is inspiring!

"Balance in all things" is one way of looking at this, but after all the study I've done, I do not believe that. 

That said, I do believe that breaking bread together is a significant social tradition that benefits our society. Sharing delicious food together that has been lovingly prepared... well, that's important to me. I'm going to choose to eat with friends and loved ones, doing my best to make choices good for me, but not at the expense of being together and demanding my food choices must be made available.

There's a joke about Veganism that Omnivores tell, "How can you tell when someone is a Vegan?" - "Don't worry, they'll tell you." That's not me, which is why I say 93% percent of the time I'm eating WFPB-low SOS. The other 25 days a year I'm enjoying my favorite foods on holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions.

I have lots to say about this topic. And I'll say more later. This is only about my personal story and journey. I'm not telling anyone to do or change anything... except maybe to do your own research on the topic and learn for yourself. But I'm thankful that 'you can't exercize out of an unhealthy way of eating' cuz I'm not a fan of physical movement (lol). Never have been. I'm stretching now... love it and it's my speed! 

I also practice Intermittent Fasting... I aim to go at least 12 hours between dinner and the next day... my ultimate goal is to fast for 18 hours and have an eating window of 6 hours... and when I'm busy that's easy. If I'm not engaged with whatever I'm doing, then I get 'hungry' (aka bored) and look for an excuse to eat. A year ago (December 2021) I started with a 14 hour fasting window and 10 hour eating window, and combined with making healthier plant-based choices 80% of the time, I lost 25 lbs in about 3 months. I've stayed down, and I'm down another 5 lbs now, but have been less disciplined about my fasting/eating windows so haven't lost nearly as fast.

Other "55" Posts... and the sunrise

After I finished my last post, I thought it would be a great idea to blog about other "55" lists...

So coming soon ~

55 Reasons to be Grateful

55 Bucket List Items

55 Bible Verses to Meditate/Memorize

55 Goals for the next 12 months

And here's this morning's sunrise ♥

This one is looking east...

This one is looking west...

55 Things I Love About Myself ~or~ Happy 55th Birthday to Me

When my person, Penny, was turning 55 (I think it was 55), her husband asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She asked me if she could tell him to call me for some suggestions. She told me I was a great (and creative) gift-giver... For what it's worth, she was so fun (and easy!) to find gifts for - I still have things I bought with her in mind, even though she passed away in 2018.

So he called me, and one of the suggestions I gave him was that he write down 55 things he loved about her.

And that's what he did... she said it was the sweetest thing, and even if there were some repeats on the list (lol), she absolutely loved it. I'm sure there were some other gifts involved, but I was always pleased with myself for coming up with such a romantic and fun idea (if I do say so myself, ha ha) and planned to do the same for people in my life.

Today is my 55th birthday, and I don't think anyone is going to be writing a list of 55 things they love about me, so I'm going to do it for myself. Self-Love Baby!! Yeah!

Today marks what I've been calling my "Grand Slam Birthday" aka known as the Denny's Senior Discount Birthday ~ 55 is when the 10% discount kicks in. I had originally planned to have my friends meet me at Denny's for Brunch on my birthday at home - but my Thanksgiving plans were hijacked by the plague, so I ended up coming up to Phoenix-area to spend the day with my mom and step-dad.

It's a good thing, actually (even though I'm still really bummed my original plan was overturned), because it is "Black Friday" after Thanksgiving Day, and I can't say enough about how much I detest going out 'there' when it's even more "people-y" than usual - ugh... and going to brunch at Denny's would have probably been more crowded than usual. So while the actually DAY of celebration isn't happening... I still see a Denny's Brunch to Celebrate Carrie's 55th in the near future.

But I am procrastinating my list...

I love me because...

1. I don't give up easily.

I made my own college graduation announcements (because the money was running out) and I put this Calvin Coolidge quote on the front:

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts."

I may not be consistent, and I'll 'take a pause' - and maybe sometimes I won't even make an attempt, but when I decide to...

!! How very interesting and self-defeating that as I'm writing this first thing, my head is absolutely sabotaging myself! I'm remembering many times that I quit. !!

* I just added "easily" to that first sentence. It's more honest. When I finally do quit, it's only after a lot of thought, heartache, guilt etc...

2. I am thoughtful of others

3. I organize events and gatherings that bring people together

4. I am creative

5. I am constantly trying to improve myself

6. I have learned that "what other people think of me is none of my business" (80% of the time)

7. I keep trying... this isn't the same as not giving up, is it? Sometimes what I'm trying are altogether different things. Hmmmm... maybe it's the positive way of saying the same thing.

8. I am optimistic, with a bit of realism for balance

9. I keep in touch with my friends.

10. I am efficient as I can possibly be ~ when left up to me

11. I do my best to help others succeed

12. I daydream

13. I don't follow the crowd (fashion, trends, 'must haves' for ______ fill in the blank), I often have to use urban dictionary to understand social media posts (Reddit, mostly, ha ha).

14. I am an independent thinker

15. I don't succumb to peer (societal) pressure, I will walk away (avoid)

16. I am strong

17. I am empathetic

18. I understand most people and situations intuitively without having to be told specifically

19. I am intuitive

20. I trust my gut (intuition)

21. I like a variety of vegetables (lol)

22. I prefer 'casual' over 'uptight' ~ comfort over fashion ~ relaxed over restricted

23. I like to have fun

24. I can be extroverted when necessary

25. I am an "ambivert" - I do need quite a bit of alone time

26. I'm never bored ~ there's always something (educational or entertaining) to do/read/create

27. I love to learn

28. I allow myself grace when I don't accomplish a goal

29. I am a natural teacher

30. I love to teach 

31. I love that when I'm teaching, I believe I'm learning more from those whom I am teaching

32. I am generous whenever I can be (time and money)

33. I am deliberate with whom I trust

34. I am a good writer

35. I am a very good singer and musician

36. I (like to believe) I'm open to new ideas ~ but am not sure if this has actually been truly tested

37. I see small details 

38. I see the big picture

39. I have faith in Jesus

40. I have good hair (thanks Dad!)

41. I can be sneaky (lol)

42. I do my best 

43. I am getting better about doing hard things (this list is a very hard thing!)

44. I am taking steps toward increasing my health and energy by eating Whole Food, Plant-Based, No Oil, No (processed) Sugar & very limited added Salt

45. I do my best to not judge others, especially without knowing their story

46. I have a great sense of humor

47. I dig the "deeper discussions" on the 'whys and wherefores' of why we are who we are, what makes us this way and all that goes with those thoughts and conversations

48. I don't let go (this can be a double-edged good/bad thing... today it's a thing I am choosing to love)

49. I sing in tune (this means that while there may be some 'flat notes' in my singing line, I don't flat the song when singing by myself... as for the group I'm with...? Well, that's not something I'm in control of, generally; but "me, myself and I" do not flat)

50. I am critical (more toward myself than others; but hold others to the same high standard I hold myself. Again, choosing to love myself for this trait that can be a double-edged good/bad thing. See 55 bonus*)

51. I have traveled and seen and lived in other cultures, other ways of living and know I have been enriched and educated, inspired and amused because I can step outside of my culture - which I love and am proud of, don't get me wrong - but because of travel I am a better overall human and world citizen because of this one thing

52. I have stuck with my current career (Real Estate) the longest I've ever done any full-time job.

53. I have increased my income while still continuing to work at a pace I am comfortable with and which gives me time to still pursue my "hobbies" 

54. I am sensitive

55. I did this list! (yeah, maybe this is a bit of a cheat, lol, maybe... but I'm still loving myself for thinking of it and then actually DOING it... not just keeping it in a "good ideas" or "someday" folder)

55. bonus* I love than I understand that there is always someone better/worse than me... richer/poorer... smarter/dumber  etc... and that I'm learning to see them all as a child of the living God. We are all His children, regardless of how someone lives his/her/their life. Some days this is easier than others, but going back to having faith, I have faith that I am forgiven, and loved just like all the others here. 

  

Happiness v Wholeness

I saw this quote (below) in an article about a Lifestyle blog. To strive for wholeness over happiness.

A long time ago my dad said that maybe happiness shouldn't be the goal, but contentment should be what we're aiming for. I don't know if that is true, but I think there is a lot to be said for being content.  That's quite Zen, I think, right? To be attached to nothing, isn't that Buddha thing? It certainly keeps the drama at bay.

I liked the quote so much I went over to Canva and quickly put the quote on a background I liked.

The last line is what strikes me as the most significant. 

Ask yourself, "is this contributing to my wholeness?" and if you're having a bad day, it is.

Even our bad days have things to teach us. And what makes it "bad" - versus "annoying" or "frustrating" or just "a day?" Doing a little introspection to find out what feelings are lurking under the surface has the potential to be illuminating. Addressing those feelings...? Even better.

 

Courage.

I've been on a weekend kick of watching videos and reading blogs of people who have chosen to become RV "Full Timers" or "nomads." There's a couple favorites I enjoy, but my favorite is Robin of Creativity RV.

...

Back in June I was asked the question, "what do you want your life to look like in a year?" 

I'll say again, while this is not a new question... it has been the first time that I've thought of my answer(s) almost every day. 

I've also been trying to figure out what I really want. 

I've been incredibly blessed in my life. I'm grateful for all that I've been given. But when given much, much is expected, and I'm afraid I've not lived up to my potential, and am disappointed in myself.

I heard on either an Amy Porterfield or a Marie Forleo podcast the other day about the 10-year Question... which is this: Will I regret NOT having done something/tried something in 10 years? Will I kick myself for having ignored the voice inside asking to try something.

I want to be able to be financially independent while traveling around the United States. 

I want to see every state, and while I wouldn't mind sharing some of the adventure with a good friend, I mainly want to do it myself as a self-confidence building, personal growth challenge.

To simplify my life by decreasing the unessential ~ “It is not daily increase but daily decrease, hack away the unessential." ~ Bruce Lee

Goals. I am creative. I have skills and talents to offer... I am a natural teacher, but I've not ventured into YouTube or even just videos here in blogland. I can write. 

I love learning. Learning about people and our tendencies, habits, the reasons behind why we do things is fascinating to me. I love learning about natural health, food as medicine and healthy eating.

What can I teach that would be worth a $9.95 eCourse or eBook? I come back to singing, but that is usually something taught one-on-one in person. Using learning to sing as one of the pathways to personal growth and development is real, and is something I am passionate about.

Life is short, that is a lesson that keeps showing up every day. 

What will it take for me to have the courage? Will I ever "feel ready?" 

Just start, right?

 

 

Penny Starr, has it really been 4 years?

It’s been 4 years since you had to go away. I miss you every day. Every single day. I miss being able to call you up and vent about a real estate situation… you were a Realtor, so you understood so much more than others, without telling me what I needed to do – you would just listen, laugh when appropriate, be angry and outraged when necessary… you were the perfect one I could call.

Your laughter… so contagious! You were so very generous. With yourself. With your time. With hospitality. Offering to help out whenever possible, in whatever situations needed help. But you also were an excellent delegator.

“Carry.” The inside joke between you and me when a now-former chorus member sent me an email spelling my name as the verb. Like I was a pack-mule. And we laughed because I do carry a lot of crap with me in bags… then we laughed because maybe it *was* appropriate! LOL. I still think about that person who did it and your response and our giggling stupidly about it.

I want to share with you all my news… I miss calling you up and you’d say, “What do YOU know?” and then off we’d go… talking about whatever. I miss your “Idiot of the Day” stories from the apartments, or variety of rental units you and Tez owned and managed.

I’m starting a book! On singing!! You’d be so thrilled for/with me! You’d be so encouraging and excited and want to hear ALL about it. There’s not a lot of people currently in my life who want to hear all about it like you would want to. And singing! You’d have so much good feedback from editing (lol) to input, from stories of us singing together to encouragement of me pursuing this dreamed-for opportunity. You’d ask me how it was going every time we talked! You would help keep me accountable with just writing every day. You were a brilliant writer and editor. I wish you were here.

I haven’t written very much about you, it is still hard. You were one-of-a-kind and were loved by so many people all around the world.

There's no one else I would want to sing duets and harmony with ~ with our guitars and ukuleles, traveling in our separate travel trailers over the United States singing to whoever would listen. And possibly pay us.

I love you, Penny Starr. ♫