55 Things I Love About Myself ~or~ Happy 55th Birthday to Me

When my person, Penny, was turning 55 (I think it was 55), her husband asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She asked me if she could tell him to call me for some suggestions. She told me I was a great (and creative) gift-giver... For what it's worth, she was so fun (and easy!) to find gifts for - I still have things I bought with her in mind, even though she passed away in 2018.

So he called me, and one of the suggestions I gave him was that he write down 55 things he loved about her.

And that's what he did... she said it was the sweetest thing, and even if there were some repeats on the list (lol), she absolutely loved it. I'm sure there were some other gifts involved, but I was always pleased with myself for coming up with such a romantic and fun idea (if I do say so myself, ha ha) and planned to do the same for people in my life.

Today is my 55th birthday, and I don't think anyone is going to be writing a list of 55 things they love about me, so I'm going to do it for myself. Self-Love Baby!! Yeah!

Today marks what I've been calling my "Grand Slam Birthday" aka known as the Denny's Senior Discount Birthday ~ 55 is when the 10% discount kicks in. I had originally planned to have my friends meet me at Denny's for Brunch on my birthday at home - but my Thanksgiving plans were hijacked by the plague, so I ended up coming up to Phoenix-area to spend the day with my mom and step-dad.

It's a good thing, actually (even though I'm still really bummed my original plan was overturned), because it is "Black Friday" after Thanksgiving Day, and I can't say enough about how much I detest going out 'there' when it's even more "people-y" than usual - ugh... and going to brunch at Denny's would have probably been more crowded than usual. So while the actually DAY of celebration isn't happening... I still see a Denny's Brunch to Celebrate Carrie's 55th in the near future.

But I am procrastinating my list...

I love me because...

1. I don't give up easily.

I made my own college graduation announcements (because the money was running out) and I put this Calvin Coolidge quote on the front:

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts."

I may not be consistent, and I'll 'take a pause' - and maybe sometimes I won't even make an attempt, but when I decide to...

!! How very interesting and self-defeating that as I'm writing this first thing, my head is absolutely sabotaging myself! I'm remembering many times that I quit. !!

* I just added "easily" to that first sentence. It's more honest. When I finally do quit, it's only after a lot of thought, heartache, guilt etc...

2. I am thoughtful of others

3. I organize events and gatherings that bring people together

4. I am creative

5. I am constantly trying to improve myself

6. I have learned that "what other people think of me is none of my business" (80% of the time)

7. I keep trying... this isn't the same as not giving up, is it? Sometimes what I'm trying are altogether different things. Hmmmm... maybe it's the positive way of saying the same thing.

8. I am optimistic, with a bit of realism for balance

9. I keep in touch with my friends.

10. I am efficient as I can possibly be ~ when left up to me

11. I do my best to help others succeed

12. I daydream

13. I don't follow the crowd (fashion, trends, 'must haves' for ______ fill in the blank), I often have to use urban dictionary to understand social media posts (Reddit, mostly, ha ha).

14. I am an independent thinker

15. I don't succumb to peer (societal) pressure, I will walk away (avoid)

16. I am strong

17. I am empathetic

18. I understand most people and situations intuitively without having to be told specifically

19. I am intuitive

20. I trust my gut (intuition)

21. I like a variety of vegetables (lol)

22. I prefer 'casual' over 'uptight' ~ comfort over fashion ~ relaxed over restricted

23. I like to have fun

24. I can be extroverted when necessary

25. I am an "ambivert" - I do need quite a bit of alone time

26. I'm never bored ~ there's always something (educational or entertaining) to do/read/create

27. I love to learn

28. I allow myself grace when I don't accomplish a goal

29. I am a natural teacher

30. I love to teach 

31. I love that when I'm teaching, I believe I'm learning more from those whom I am teaching

32. I am generous whenever I can be (time and money)

33. I am deliberate with whom I trust

34. I am a good writer

35. I am a very good singer and musician

36. I (like to believe) I'm open to new ideas ~ but am not sure if this has actually been truly tested

37. I see small details 

38. I see the big picture

39. I have faith in Jesus

40. I have good hair (thanks Dad!)

41. I can be sneaky (lol)

42. I do my best 

43. I am getting better about doing hard things (this list is a very hard thing!)

44. I am taking steps toward increasing my health and energy by eating Whole Food, Plant-Based, No Oil, No (processed) Sugar & very limited added Salt

45. I do my best to not judge others, especially without knowing their story

46. I have a great sense of humor

47. I dig the "deeper discussions" on the 'whys and wherefores' of why we are who we are, what makes us this way and all that goes with those thoughts and conversations

48. I don't let go (this can be a double-edged good/bad thing... today it's a thing I am choosing to love)

49. I sing in tune (this means that while there may be some 'flat notes' in my singing line, I don't flat the song when singing by myself... as for the group I'm with...? Well, that's not something I'm in control of, generally; but "me, myself and I" do not flat)

50. I am critical (more toward myself than others; but hold others to the same high standard I hold myself. Again, choosing to love myself for this trait that can be a double-edged good/bad thing. See 55 bonus*)

51. I have traveled and seen and lived in other cultures, other ways of living and know I have been enriched and educated, inspired and amused because I can step outside of my culture - which I love and am proud of, don't get me wrong - but because of travel I am a better overall human and world citizen because of this one thing

52. I have stuck with my current career (Real Estate) the longest I've ever done any full-time job.

53. I have increased my income while still continuing to work at a pace I am comfortable with and which gives me time to still pursue my "hobbies" 

54. I am sensitive

55. I did this list! (yeah, maybe this is a bit of a cheat, lol, maybe... but I'm still loving myself for thinking of it and then actually DOING it... not just keeping it in a "good ideas" or "someday" folder)

55. bonus* I love than I understand that there is always someone better/worse than me... richer/poorer... smarter/dumber  etc... and that I'm learning to see them all as a child of the living God. We are all His children, regardless of how someone lives his/her/their life. Some days this is easier than others, but going back to having faith, I have faith that I am forgiven, and loved just like all the others here. 

  

Courage.

I've been on a weekend kick of watching videos and reading blogs of people who have chosen to become RV "Full Timers" or "nomads." There's a couple favorites I enjoy, but my favorite is Robin of Creativity RV.

...

Back in June I was asked the question, "what do you want your life to look like in a year?" 

I'll say again, while this is not a new question... it has been the first time that I've thought of my answer(s) almost every day. 

I've also been trying to figure out what I really want. 

I've been incredibly blessed in my life. I'm grateful for all that I've been given. But when given much, much is expected, and I'm afraid I've not lived up to my potential, and am disappointed in myself.

I heard on either an Amy Porterfield or a Marie Forleo podcast the other day about the 10-year Question... which is this: Will I regret NOT having done something/tried something in 10 years? Will I kick myself for having ignored the voice inside asking to try something.

I want to be able to be financially independent while traveling around the United States. 

I want to see every state, and while I wouldn't mind sharing some of the adventure with a good friend, I mainly want to do it myself as a self-confidence building, personal growth challenge.

To simplify my life by decreasing the unessential ~ “It is not daily increase but daily decrease, hack away the unessential." ~ Bruce Lee

Goals. I am creative. I have skills and talents to offer... I am a natural teacher, but I've not ventured into YouTube or even just videos here in blogland. I can write. 

I love learning. Learning about people and our tendencies, habits, the reasons behind why we do things is fascinating to me. I love learning about natural health, food as medicine and healthy eating.

What can I teach that would be worth a $9.95 eCourse or eBook? I come back to singing, but that is usually something taught one-on-one in person. Using learning to sing as one of the pathways to personal growth and development is real, and is something I am passionate about.

Life is short, that is a lesson that keeps showing up every day. 

What will it take for me to have the courage? Will I ever "feel ready?" 

Just start, right?

 

 

The Hike

 

I understand the meme. A patient seeker will be satisfied in due time; patience is a virtue. Nothing worth waiting for happens fast. All (good) things come to those who/that wait. The reward comes after the struggle. When we are persistent and patient (and consistent) we will be rewarded and achieve our goal(s). When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

But what happens when we hike a difficult road, only to find ourselves back at the same point from where we started?

For me, destination is 'somewhere new.' 

Merriam-Webster has this to say about destination ~

    :the purpose for which something is predetermined or destined

    :an act of appointing, setting aside for a purpose, or predetermining

    :a place to which one is journeying or to which something is sent

    :a place worthy of travel or an extended visit

* * *

I have a Girl Scout Camp memory of an All Day Hike.

It's important to know... I don't like Hiking. Detest Hill Walking (as it's called by some in Scotland). Loathe. Despise. You get the picture.

At least, I hated Girl Scout hikes for the most part - maybe that's a subject for another rambling rant of a post... for this post, let's just suffice to say how much I abhor Hiking ALL DAY LONG and ending up where I started. 

EXACTLY

THE 

SAME

PLACE

FROM

WHICH

WE

STARTED!

I had two different Girl Scout Camp experiences - Hidden Falls and Skylark. I think the Hiking I hated was at Skylark. One good memory, I think the only good memory from that camp experience is that I received mail (one of the lucky ones) from Nana, my paternal grandmother who died when I was 8. The other memories of that time are miserable.

This was an extremely traumatic week (?) or couple of weeks for me.

The Hike that I appreciated was hiking to the beach, spending the night there (campfire and sand in our food, the whole nine yards) then hiking back to our camp... where we had tents with wooden floors, and squeaky springs in the beds to hold our sleeping bags up off the ground.

The Hike that I was disgusted with was the hike where we started out, walked ALL FREAKING DAY and ended up RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED. What was the point? The journey? okay. Nature. fine. But I don't remember anything significant on that hike except that we didn't GO anywhere - we didn't arrive somewhere new. We just walked in a big circle and there was no reward but the wasted time of walking around for itself.

Inefficient. Wasted Energy. It was the kind of hike where it was difficult in spots, scary for me... climbing up steep paths and trying not to fall as you make your way down slippery rocks and pebbles. I had no friends before I went - I just was "sent off to camp" by myself. 

I remember being dropped off in the morning, the bus and that there was one girl I knew, Stephanie, who was a brat, who was also going. I don't seem to remember where I knew her from... but she had some Cheetos and when she offered me one, and I said yes, she threw it on the ground and said, 'there it is' - or something like that. I don't remember if I picked it up and ate it, or just left it there. Knowing me, I probably picked it up and ate it. We ended up being in the same tent and it was a pretty long hike to the latrine/outhouse - treacherous at night and you needed your flashlight. There was some trauma associated with that, too.

I'm kinda smirking-laughing at myself because we do this to ourselves - in life. I fail to learn, grasp a new concept, change my habit or thinking and end up at exactly the same place. Huh. Maybe this early life experience was meant to show me something along these lines.

* * *

Girl Scout Camp... those hazy memories aren't great. My experience at Hidden Falls was slightly better. I was older, I'd been to camp before, I met a friend. But it was still rough.

*This post was started in April 0f 2018. I'm publishing it today, 6/22/2022. I still hate hiking.

Accountability = Love

When we lie to ourselves... When we don't hold ourselves accountable to what we tell ourselves, it is essentially a lie.

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Think on it.